
For my birthday yesterday, my husband took me out to Little India because I was craving Indian food!

I knew that Little One LOVES music, but I didn't realize that she absolutely loves the sound of t
he sitar! She was dancing to the music. It was so cute!


I also learned something rather funny. One of my girlfriends said she wanted to make me a birthday cake. She had worked tirelessly to create a beautiful cake for me, and her husband told her "It looks like a funeral cake". A funeral cake?!?
Me: Do funeral cakes actually exist? Is there even such a thing?!
Friend: I don't know! My husband said it looks like a funeral cake though! (exasperated)
Me: Hang on. I'm just going to Google "funeral cakes".
***
Me: OH. MY. GOODNESS. (laughing)
Friend: What?
Me: You won't believe this! There are tons of links for funeral cakes!!
(both laughing)
Friend: Well, what would a funeral cake look like? What do you write on a funeral cake?!?
Me: Well, they look just like birthday cakes.
Friend: So, does it say "Happy Death Day to You" or "RIP"?
Me: No. More like Bible passages.
Wow. Thanks to my friend's husband, we learned that funeral cakes do exist!

I love my pink tractor birthday cake! My friend baked two cakes (this is the second one) because she didn't want to bring the first cake (the "funeral cake"). I think she did a great job!
Yet another thing I learned as I turn one year older is that my husband is full of surprises. My husband organized a surprise birthday gathering for me on Saturday. I was totally surprised, because he has never done anything like that for me. Ever. He's not much of a party organizer. Why should he be though? He's never had to do it before. Plus, I always organize the family dinners and parties with friends. I was touched that he put the effort into planning something for me. He loves me. He really, really loves me.

Then he told me that the guests would be arriving in a few hours. WHAT??? I could feel the stress and anxiety sweep over me. Then I got upset. Okay, angry is more like it. It just felt so unjust that I had to clean the entire house and get things ready for guests who were coming to my surprise party. Sooooo terribly unfair.
I felt
awful after because it occurred to me that my husband did in fact have the best of intentions. I didn't want to be such a malcontent or ingrate. I do appreciate him. We just don't seem to think the same way. The execution and planning just wasn't how I would have done things. I would have planned the event WAY in advance. I would have cleaned the house, made sure to have party food, and well...just be organized! A+ for thoughtfulness and good intentions though. Some of the people got their invitation/phone call the afternoon of the surprise get together!
A friend reminded me last week that
Men Are Like Waffles and Women Are Like Spaghetti.

For a man, every element of his life is in a separate box. For a woman, everything in her life touches everything else. The talk I had with my friend really helped me understand my husband and his logic more.
I told her about an incident that took place last week. I had a meeting to attend at 7PM and asked Hubby to be back in time so he could watch Little One while I was at the meeting. I needed to leave at 6:40 to get to my destination on time. 6:43 and Hubby still hadn't arrived. I bundled Little One up in her snowsuit, put her in her car seat and left Hubby a message on his cell phone saying that I was going to be late and would have to just take the baby to my meeting with me. 6:45 and Hubby's truck barreled down the lane way.
Me: I've got to run. PLEASE feed the baby and change her diaper. Oh, and there are just a few dishes in the sink. Could you PLEASE do them for me?
Hubby: Okay. Have fun at your meeting.
Me: Fun? It's a meeting. We talk about budgets and fund raising. Anyway, don't forget to feed and change the baby...and don't forget the dishes.
***
I returned from the meeting and the baby hadn't been changed or fed, and the dishes were still in the sink.
Me: She hasn't been fed or changed? The dishes are still in the sink? WHAT on earth did you do all that time I was gone?!?!?
Hubby: Honey, she's just sooooo busy! It's a full time job just watching her!
Me: FINE! I guess I'll do it. I always have to do everything. I never get any downtime. I never get any rest. For once, I'd just wish to not have to do dishes. I'm ALWAYS doing dishes!!!
***
Fast forward to the next day when my friend and I took our girls to the play group's Christmas Party.
I told her about what had happened and she explained to me that men think about things in compartments. The dishes weren't a priority for Hubby. His main concern was that Little One was safe and being taken care of. Everything else was secondary.
Me: What on earth?! How come when I'm at home I can cook, clean, do dishes and laundry, run errands, do things for Hubby, get paperwork done, do online work (articles and other jobs), AND take care of the baby?!?!
Friend: That's because women are like spaghetti. Every part of our lives connect and overlap. We can multitask. Women are better at multitasking than men. Men think in boxes. Like waffles.
It's so true. Men and women are totally hardwired differently. We don't think in the same ways. I have a zillion examples of this, but that's an entirely different post all together! :)
I love my husband. He's such a great father to Little One. He adores her...and me. Men and women just don't think the same and we don't have the same priorities. "Please put out the garbage" to me means "NOW". To him it means "at some point in the future". "Could you please pass me the wipes? I'm changing the baby and my hands are full" means "I need the wipes NOW"! To him, it means "sometime later" or "You mean you need it now??". *sigh*
This whole marriage and parenthood thing is truly a learning process. Every day we learn new things. I've learned that my husband is the best and I love him so much! We have our moments where we just don't get each other, but we learn and try to understand each other. I've learned that I can be very impatient at times and I need to work on that. I need to work on being more understanding of the reasons behind the logic of our decisions, actions and thinking.