The Saddest Day EVER!

We did it.  we took the plunge and registered Little One for Junior Kindergarten.  Most of you already know of my feelings of reservation about sending my 3 year old to ALL DAY Junior Kindergarten.  The long days, long bus rides...It just breaks my heart.

I guess I've also felt cheated out of my time with her.  When I wasn't able to have that special bonding time with her at home when she was a newborn (because she spent the first 70 days of life in the NICU), I told myself I would spend as much of her formative years with her.  I didn't want her to be raised by a babysitter or nanny...or anyone else.  I wanted to be with her.  We were able to arrange for me to do this and I know for some families, this is not possible.

After all, kids are only little once.  The time between infancy and school age is so short.  It's a drop in the bucket compared to what's in store for them the rest of their lives.  Seriously, if you think of it, Little One will be spending most of her life in school.  After which, the rest of her life will be spent working.

I just want her to enjoy being a kid.

I feel once they go to school, they're open to so many outside influences (like swear words and poor habits, for example).  I know I need to just step back, take a deep breath, and let go.

It's just so hard.  What's even harder for me is seeing how much she enjoyed herself tonight.  She LOVES her school, the teacher, and her friends. Yep! My baby is all grown up.

Oh, boy.  This parenting business is definitely not for the faint of heart : )

Today is NOT My Day

It's the new year.  We ushered in 2012 in bed with headaches, aches and pains, fevers, and coughs. All three of us were sick.  First it was Hubby, and then the next day, Little One and I felt ill.  Fortunately for us, it only lasted 24 hours.  The farm is not going to look after itself if we're sick.  Farmers don't have "sick days", holidays, days off, or "weekends".

I know I shouldn't grumble.  Hubby says we're "stewards of the land" and really loves farming, it's in his blood, and believes this is the right thing to do.  This said, I would love to be able to go on vacation as a family someday. With this being a one man operation (plus a city girl for a wife and a very busy toddler who help in any way we can, but almost always just get in the way), it looks unlikely. We are in desperate need of a vacation though.

Anyway...

While I was busy purging our house of unneeded things (a tradition I've adopted every New Year), the dog decided to purge my compost bin of all its contents...ALL OVER the kitchen floor!  I had eggshells, coffee grounds, and avocado pits all over my kitchen floor.

More mess to clean up. Yay.

I then decided to make several different batches of food to serve as supper for the remainder of the week.  I figured that if I did that, it would save me time during the rest of the week.  As I was cooking two different supper dishes at the same time, the phone rang.  Normally, if I had my hands tied, I'd let the voicemail pick up.  Of course, Hubby had to answer the phone and he had to hand it to me.  Yes...while I was in the midst of pots boiling and things going into the oven.

It was my friend SuperAmazingMommy.  We chatted as I cooked.  Of course, my amazing little toddler (who has been on a roll with the toilet training for the past almost three weeks) came running down the stairs.  She had her brand new bathing suit on.  Why does a three year old need to wear a bathing suit in the middle of the winter?  Why, in hopes that her mother will take her to the indoor pool 74 minutes away from the Island!

SuperAmazingMommy and I were discussing something that has been weighing on my mind these days - school.  I'm on the fence on whether to send Little One this year because she was a preemie.  Technically, she's three months behind most kids her age, but doesn't seem to display any signs of being delayed.  Still, the thought of my tiny little munchkin being in school all day, five days a week, and having to make a long commute on the bus (because we live in the sticks), makes me feel ill.  It seriously makes me anxiety-filled.  She is so tiny and still needs her afternoon naps.  Without them, she is on grumpy kid.

SuperAmazingMommy reminded me of what our Neonatal Specialist (who is also our pediatrician) said.  "There is no rush.  Too many parents do their children a tremendous disservice by rushing them." This goes for potty training as well.  I've been feeling the pressure from all ends on the potty training issue.  I forgot that Little One's Neonatal Specialist told is not to rush her and that she would potty train when she's ready.  She said not to even consider it until after she's three years old "corrected" (which would be in February).

Just as I said, "Well, [insert Little One's real name here] has been a toilet training superstar!  No diapers.  Peeing and pooping in the toilet and not the potty. No accidents at all", what should happen?

I heard a thundering gush like the sound of Niagara Falls coming from the stairs leading to the kitchen.

"MOMMY! I had an accident!"

By George! I Think She's Got It!!!

It's been just over two weeks (okay, 15 days to be exact!) since we more like I began potty re-training Little One.

I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, but I think she's finally got it! Little One has gone for over two weeks of no diapers!  Basically, while we've been on Christmas holiday, I've been letting her roam around the house sans diaper and sans panties. She seems to prefer to go in the buff anyway.  Can't say I blame her. Potty training is a lot easier without any hindrances. No cumbersome pants, tights, or anything for that girlie.

I've taken to heart what you - my dear readers, friends, family, and even strangers have told me. I've been basically easing up on the whole potty training thing and letting Little One do things at her own pace. Funny, now that I've put potty training on the back burner, she's seemed to take a keen interest in it. Go figure!

Perfect timing too, since all the cleaning up after accidents has had me super stressed. I've got this ginormous zit on my face from the stress. I have pretty good skin and only break out if I'm under extreme stress. Who  knew that potty training would be so stressful? My poor kid. She's got a mom who hates mess, disorder, chaos...and poop!

Little One refuses to use the potty and has opted for the toilet instead! She also refuses to wear diapers and pull-ups. It's panties or nothing for that kid! She hasn't had any accidents either! Oops. Except for the time she pooped on her Grampy's bed and peed on his kitchen floor last week. Other than that, no accidents! Oh, we won't ever let her live down the story of the giant poop she left on her Grampy's bed when she was three years old. She casually said, "Grampy. I pooped on your bed". Now Grampy is afraid to babysit her on his own, for fear there will be a repeat of the poop on bed story.  In all fairness, she hasn't had an accident since.

It just seems that she all of a sudden became a big kid. It actually makes me feel really, really sad! She's THREE! She's growing up far too quickly for my liking. How on earth did that happen?!

The big test was taking her on a day trip (a two hours each way). The amazing thing is that Little One did not have any accidents and asked to go to the washroom when she needed to go. Yes, I am fiercely proud of my little munchkin.

Could this be the end of stinky poopy diapers? Could it?

Happy Holidays

Oops! I Did It Again!

I don't know what possessed me to do it.

Parents all over the world do it every day.

We commit this unspeakable crime all the time. We think it's our God given right to do this to our children.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I am talking about butchering our children's hair!

Unless you are a professional hair dresser, please put the scissors down.

My little one's hair was getting quite long, but I didn't want to cut it. I love being able to fix her hair and make her hair look pretty.

However, it was growing in such an unruly manner and always looked so messy and unkempt. Yes, it was cute, but it was always in her face!

I did it. It was as though some unseen force was guiding my hands. Before I knew it, I had chopped off FOUR inches of her baby fine hair! A little crooked okay, A LOT crooked!, a little lop-sided, but finally not in her face anymore!

I almost cried! WHAT did I just do?

Hubby came home to see me (obviously distraught) and looked over at Little One, who was dancing around in circles, showing off her pixie 'do.

"I cut her hair! It was driving me crazy that it was always so messy looking. Now she looks so grown up!", I wailed.

"It looks good. Don't worry. It will grow back. It actually suits her!", Hubby said.

I don't know what it is about haircuts and children, but it just makes them seem like they're no longer babies. Yes, I realize Little One is no longer a baby.  This just reminds me that she's growing up so fast and will be going to school before I know it.

An Olde Fashioned Christmas

We are blessed to have a fabulous group of friends on the Island. We really enjoy our dinner parties and play dates with our friends and their kids. There are about six families with children close to Little One's age (some a few years older and some a bit younger) and we have become somewhat of a big "family". Being an Island "transplant", this means a lot to me.

It is really important for me to have good friends with whom we can do things together, just hang out, be there for each other and include everyone's kids and spouses/partners. The support, the friendship, the love, the laughter...these are all things I need living so far away from my friends and family in the city.

This year, our group of friends decided to have an "Olde Fashioned Christmas" and show the kids that Christmas is not all about the buying and receiving. It's not about material things. It's about love, family, friends, the Spirit of Christmas, the giving, and the doing things from the heart. Coming from varying degrees of Christianity, we didn't get heavily into the explanation of Christmas and Jesus' birth. Also, most of the kids are too young to understand still.

Anyway, we drew names and we had to give a handmade/homemade present to the child whose name we chose.  Little One helped me make this for the friend whose name she drew:

Sand Art Brownies (in a jar)

1/2 c. all purpose flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1/3 c. baking/unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 c. all purpose flour
2/3 c. brown sugar
2/3 c. white sugar
1 c. chocolate chips
Little One sprinkled oatmeal into the mix because she likes oatmeal in everything!

In a clean 1 quart/1 L mason jar, layer all the above ingredients in the order that they are listed.
On a decorative recipe card (we just used a Christmas card with Little One in a Santa's hat), write the following:
Sand Art Brownies: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease one 9x9 inch square baking pan. 2. Pour the contents of the jar into a large bowl, and mix well. 3. Stir in 1 teaspoon vanilla, 2/3 cup vegetable oil, and 3 eggs. Beat until just combined. 4. Pour the batter into the prepared pan, and bake in the preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes.
The little girl who received the gift from Little One was so excited! C'mon. What kid doesn't love baking errrr...make that EATING! brownies!!

I was amazed at some of the presents the kids made (or helped make!). One child received a "painting" that was made of crayons! The person who gave the gift hot glued different coloured crayons onto canvas and then used a hairdryer to melt the crayons. All of the colours melted into each other and made a rainbow. It was stunning!

Another child received a cricket house - complete with a live cricket and other insects for the cricket to eat!

There was a handmade Christmas stocking and a ballerina's tutu. One child received a CD with children's Christmas tunes. That brought me back to the days when I was a teenager and made mixed tapes for my friends. I'd sit for hours and "tape" my favourite songs off the radio. Ahhh...the memories!  I guess essentially, this is what we are trying to share with our children. Building memories.

It was such a great gathering and it really touched my heart to see all of our kids playing so nicely together and the adults engaging in conversation. It makes being away from my hometown and family a lot easier. The Island is starting to feel like "home".

36 Things

Here we are again. Another year older. Here are 36 things about me:

1. I am very fortunate to have such a great family and good friends.

2. I need to appreciate my blessings more.

3. I need to focus less on things that are beyond my control.

4. I need to learn how to make time for myself and for my family.

5. Now that I'm no longer in my 20s, I realize anything more than one glass of wine or one cocktail does me in for the night.

6. I would really like to stay in with my family more and hang out at home more.

7. I thrive on being busy and have a hard time just chilling out.

8. I get really irritated with mess and hate it when my house is in disarray.

9. I  have a 3 year old who insists on keeping the house in complete disarray.

10. I never realized how difficult it would be to live on a farm and to be a farmer's wife.

11. I love our life and know that this is fabulous for our child.

12. I also get stressed out about our lifestyle. Farming is not easy.

13. I am surrounded by so many amazing, wonderful people and I am thankful to have each and every one of them in my life.

14. I was always worried about all the things George Orwell talked about in his book, "1984".

15. Now, my life is all about social media. What would Orwell think of this? Yikes!

16. I never knew how exhausting (mentally and physically) it would be to potty train a toddler.

17. Sometimes I think about how fun and free my life once was and how I miss traveling and living/working abroad.

18. Then I realize how much I love the security of knowing that my home is here and that I  have a wonderful husband and daughter at home.

19. I am still toying with the idea of having a second child.

20. Part of me really wants to have a sibling for Little One.

21. The other part dreads having another baby because life is really crazy right now.

22. I'm on the fence about enrolling Little One in school next year.

23. Part of me is excited and thinks Little One is ready for school, but the other part thinks, "She's only 3, all day/5 days a week and a very long bus ride just seems too much for someone so little".

24. I also don't want to let  her go yet, because I feel as though she needs time to just be a kid and the majority of her life she will be in school. I'd like to keep her "mine" for a bit longer.

25. I love cooking for my family and friends.

26. I hate doing dishes.

27. I love doing laundry.

28. I hate putting laundry away.

29. I need to practice being more patient.

30. Whining and screaming really annoy me.

31. I miss my grandmother and wish I could be in the Philippines with her right now.

32. I love love driving and the 9.5 hour and 11 hour road trips to visit family are fun for me.

33. I hate driving in the city.

34. I still suck at reverse parking and parallel parking.

35. I have great intentions, but lately I'm lacking in the execution side of things. I've had Christmas cards ready to be sent out in the first week of December, yet here they are still sitting on my desk. New Year's cards it is then!

36. I thought I was turning 37 this year and was slightly relieved that I'm just 36. I don't know why. Age is just a number. :)

This year, my husband and friends planned a wonderful surprise for me.
READ MORE HERE.