Every parent can relate when it comes to bringing baby home for the first time.  There's the first time putting baby in the car seat, first car ride, sitting in the back seat with them, going home for the first time, and first sleep at home!

I think it's pretty universal that as first time parents, many of us have the same feelings of excitement as well as apprehension bringing baby home for the first time!

For myself, there was a little more drama with Little One being born at 28 weeks gestation.  There was the whole air ambulance trip, hospital bed rest, "spontaneous birth" (Yes! That's what was written in her chart after she canon-balled her way into the world!), 72 days in the NICU and a huge roller coaster ride of emotions.


After our life in the NICU, we got to take Little One home.  Then it sank in...Wow! We're bringing baby home!

I  have to say that I was really impressed to discover that Pampers makes diapers for even the tiniest babies.  The hospital we were at used Pampers Preemie/Size P for the preemies in the NICU.  Though the hospital provides preemie diapers for the preemies in the NICU, something I just learned and think parents should know is that parents need to bring diapers to the hospital with them.

Pampers Size P (for preemies) were the diapers we used when we brought Little One home.  I was so thankful to have diapers that fit my tiny baby!  Little One was 980 grams at birth and when we brought her home from the hospital, she was 5 lbs! Finding a diaper that fit such a small baby would be a challenge had we not had Pampers.  Even Hubby thought Pampers Size P fit Little One really well.  He really liked the fact that the yellow line turns blue when baby has wet the diaper. The indicator line was one of Hubby's favourite Pampers features.

It's no surprise that Pampers Swaddlers is the #1 Choice of Canadian parents and hospitals for newborn babies.


I remember when my brother and his wife had their twins and they used Pampers on their girls. It's a brand they trusted and preferred for fit and leakage protection.

Speaking of leakage protection, I was chatting with a friend recently and she said she loves that Pampers' 12 hour leakage protection helps her baby sleep through the night without waking up with a leaky diaper.  Yes, Pampers has Mom's back from birth to potty training with Cruisers and Easy Ups for baby at each stage.

Have you heard of Pampers Village (pampers.ca)?  It's a loyalty program that enables consumers to redeem rewards for every package of Pampers purchased, exclusive coupon offer, newsletters with parenting tips, and exclusive promotions.  Discover all the benefits you can get by joining over 500,000 Canadian parents!  I'm a member!  Despite the fact that Little One is now in Junior Kindergarten, I still enjoy  reading what's on pampers.ca. It's a great resource for new and experienced moms as baby moves through the stages. Plus, who knows if Little One will have a sibling in the future?

For new moms, getting a tailored newsletter for baby based on their stage is a great thing! I also like letting friends know about the exclusive rewards and coupons they can get from Pampers Rewards. Let's face it, moms (first time or veteran) can always use the support of a community and being able to share experiences with other moms.  This is what it's like on the Pampers Canada Facebook page! Chat about everything from bringing baby home for the first time, baby sleeping through the night, and more!

I was just talking about Pampers with my best friend yesterday and smiled when she said, "Pampers is like wrapping your baby's bottom in a cloud".  I love that!
Ready for some exciting news?  Summer is the season of new bumps and babies, and with the Royal baby on the way, Pampers Canada wants to share memories and tips from experienced moms with those preparing for their first big day!

As  an experienced a mom who has been there before, I'll be tweeting with @Pampers, @Gingermommy, @momvstheboys, and @myweeview on June 26th, giving some mom to mom support by sharing what new moms need to know about bringing their first baby home.

It's going to be a lot of fun! Who doesn't love talking about baby experiences?! Plus, the prizes are phenomenal!  Definitely things any new mom would love!

$1,500 in prizing with a Grand Prize worth almost $700! 

Whether new or experienced, mom always deserves to be pampered!
* Pantene Pro-V Daily Moisture Renewal Moisture Mask
* Pantene Pro-V Daily Moisture Renewal Moisture Mist
* Pantene Pro-V Daily Moisture Renewal Shampoo & Conditioner
* Pantene Pro-V Daily Moisture Renewal Silky Moisture Whip
* Venus & Olay razor and Satin Care with a Touch of Olay Shave Gel
* CoverGirl Blast Flipstick
* COVERGIRL LipPerfection
* Secret Outlast deodorant
* Vidal Sassoon Hair Colour coupon
* Olay Ultra Moisture Lotion
* Olay Total Effects Daily Anti-Aging UV Moisturizer Plus Touch of Foundation Cream
* Olay Total Effects 7-in-1 Anti-Aging Eye Cream Line and Dark Circle Minimizing Brush
* Olay Total Effects Refreshing Citrus Scrub
* Olay Total Effects Tone Correcting Night Moisturizer
* Olay Total Effects Tone Correcting Eye Treatment
* COVERGIRL Outlast Stay Brilliant Nail Gloss (two shades)
* Febreze Candle

Pampers Swaddlers & Memories ($200) THREE WINNERS!
* Two boxes of Pampers diapers
* Pampers Wipes
* Kodak Play Sport video camera
* Ivory Snow Liquid Detergent
* Canada onesie (0-3 months)

Pampers Swaddlers ($80)  THREE WINNERS!
* Two small packs of Pampers diapers
* Pampers Wipes
* Ivory Snow Liquid Detergent
* Canada onesie (0-3 months)



Please join us on Wednesday, June 26th from 8pm-9pm EST.

Follow Host: @chancesmommy
Co-Hosts: @Gingermommy, @momvstheboys, @myweeview
Sponsor: @Pampers
Hashtag: #ILoveSwaddlers

All Canadian participants, excluding residents of Quebec are eligible to win.  
Please RSVP with your Twitter handle (Ex: @yourtwitterhandle) using the linky below:




 Disclosure - I am a P&Gmom. As part of my affiliation with this group I am hosting the #iloveswaddlers Twitter party and have been compensated for my services. The opinions on this blog and during the Twitter party are my own.

Never in a million years would I have ever imagined what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of the kind of  love and support we received over a week ago.  When I think about the tremendous outpour of concern and well wishes, I get so overwhelmed and end up crying.

Giving Thanks

A Huge Thank You to CHEO

Thank You to the Blogging Community

Giving Thanks to Some Very Special People

Giving thanks to all the special people in our lives

Over a week ago, my four year old was airlifted to Ottawa and sent to CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario).  Other than her early delivery (when I was sent by air ambulance to Mount Sinai, where Little One canon-balled her way into existence), this experience was probably one of the scariest times in my life.

After Little One's surgery, one of the first things she uttered was, "Now you really have to take me to Disney!"

I had heard of Official Princess Parties through my friend, Canadian Dad's blog posts this past year and knew my four year old would love to meet her favourite princess.

As soon as Little One was discharged from the hospital and had rested for a few days, I wanted to have a thank you BBQ for my friends @flywithbaby (and her husband and family), as well as for @CanadianDadBlog and his family.  Both families were such a great support while Little One was in the hospital. Having a young child in the hospital is scary and emotionally challenging, but coupled with being away from Hubby and being 9 hours away from home, it is even more challenging.

Canadian Dad made the big BBQ party even more special by organizing a meeting with Little One's favourite princess! Little One was so excited to see Belle!
Check out the smile on Little One's face!  Now, that is one very happy kid!

I was really impressed with the entire princess experience.  We were staying at my friend's house and Belle popped in for a visit. She wowed all the children with sing-along tunes, dancing, story time, and cheek glitter and tattoo application!

Little One running to greet Belle.  For a kid who was in a lot of pain from having surgery, she sure ran very quickly to see her favourite princess!




Thank you to Official Princess Parties, Belle, and Canadian Dad for making one sick little girlie very happy!

Connect with Official Princess Parties on Facebook too.

Many of you have asked how our fundraiser/benefit concert for Mount Sinai Hospital's Perinatal Parents Association went last weekend. We want to give a BIG thank you to everyone who came out and supported  our cause and to those who supported us from afar.  It truly means a lot to us to be able to "give back" to Mount Sinai after having a preemie in the NICU. We are so thankful to be able to contribute to something so important and near and dear to our hearts. Making sure we can help other parents with babies in the NICU is so very important to us...especially during the Holiday season.

This Saturday (tonight!), local band, Rural Roots will be performing at our fundraiser for Mount Sinai's Preninatal Parents' Association.  Honestly, without Mount Sinai Hospital, Little One would not be here today.  Without our "second family", the NICU parents and staff, I would not have survived life those first 72 days of Little One's life in the hospital.

Imagine what is supposed to be the most exciting time of your life turning into a time of uncertainty and constant worry...and even the scariest time of your life.  That's what having a preemie is like.  Spending each day not knowing if your baby will survive is a reality for many parents of preemies.

Little One was born at 28 weeks and was 980 g at birth. That's just over 2 lbs of butter!

While most women who have had non-high risk/'term' pregnancies get to hold their babies as soon as they're born, moms of preemies sometimes can't even hold their babies for days (even weeks) after they're born. I was able to put my finger in Little One's hand, but that was it.

Not being able to hold her or nurse her right away was devastating.  We just wanted to make sure she was taken care of though, so understanding the limited contact was something that was a reality for us.

Feedings, bathing, diaper changing are all regulated when your baby is in the NICU.  For the most part, the babies are sleeping and are to remain left to rest (babies spend the last few weeks of life in the womb growing, but since preemies are out of the womb earlier than supposed to be, they have to do their growing outside of the womb and in their isolettes). Babies grow in their sleep, so in the NICU, our nurses reminded parents to not interrupt baby's sleep.

In the beginning, Little One could only be handled through the windows in her isolette (incubator). In the beginning, it was limited contact still. As she grew bigger and stronger, we were able to open up the door to her isolette and change her diaper or even take her out briefly and hold her.

Feeding for Little One was through NG-tube (nasal gastric tube). Because babies born so soon have not yet mastered the "suck, swallow, breathe" process yet, they have to be fed via NG-tube. I was adamant that I would breastfeed my baby, and was encouraged by the team to pump every few hours. I pumped religiously and froze and stored my breast milk for the nurses to use for Little One. As the lactation consultant always told us, breast milk is "Liquid Gold" and so important, especially for preemies (with all the passive immunity and other things to help baby grow strong and healthy). This said, in the beginning, Little One had a combo of breast milk and a formula specially tailored for her needs. The 'cocktail' contained vitamins and other things that would keep her healthy and help her put on weight faster. If you think of it, there is nothing to 980 grams! That's just a little over 2 lbs, 3 oz!

The incubator/isolette sort of acts like mama's womb, where baby grows inside. This is why parents are encouraged to only handle baby in their wakeful hours. Babies, preemies especially, need their sleep to grow! Our primary nurse always put a blanket over the isolette during sleep time to block the light and keep things dark for Little One.

Little One also had numerous leads attached to her to measure heart rate, blood pressure, etc. All of these leads are hooked up and the stats are visible on baby's monitor.  This is to ensure that stats are stable.  I was told by the parents whose preemie was 'neighbours' to Little One that we need to not focus on the monitor all the time. It can really drive a parent crazy and cause a lot of stress when  you see numbers swaying or doing crazy things.  Little One was notorious for making her numbers go out of whack (most of the time because she would remove her leads)! She was a pro at setting off alarms and whistles and making the nurses and RTs run over to her isolette!

Spending my days and evenings in the NICU became my new sense of 'normal'. I would get up at 5am, take the bus and subway to the hospital, make sure I was there in time for 'rounds' so I could chat with the doctors and the medical team and hear about Little One's progress (or setbacks), go to the pumping room, pump, eat breakfast, spend the day beside Little One's isolette, read to her, sing to her, talk to her, pump, have lunch, change her diaper, and when she got stronger, I was able to do 'kangaroo care' with her and just hold her! Later on I was able to nurse her. I really valued those special bonding times with her.

Leaving the NICU at night was always hard for me. Having to take the subway and bus at night and leave my baby at the hospital seemed so unjust to me. Plus, I always worried that something might happen while I was away from the NICU.  I used to call the NICU a few times a night to check in on Little One. Her primary nurses were so amazing and the nurses on duty were fabulous too. They'd give me the updates on Little One regardless of whether I was calling in at 11pm or at 2am. Yes, I actually used to call them during those hours just to have some reassurance.

It was a long 72 days and certainly not without its ups and downs. I won't lie when I say it was the scariest time of my life.

A very big and heartfelt thanks goes out to Mount Sinai Hospital, the doctors, nurses, primary nurses, RT, NICU staff, Marianne Bracht, Tammy the lactation consultant, the Linden Fund, the Perinatal Parents, and all of our NICU family. I say family, because that is what they were to us. Thank you so much! We are forever indebted to all of you for the support you have given us.

Some things you can do to offer support to parents of preemies:

• It may sound trivial, but the little things really do help.  Things like bringing over a freezer meal for the family is really helpful. Parents of preemies have so much on their minds when their babies are in the NICU, that feeding themselves isn't always high on their list of priorities. It's a stressful and busy time commuting to and from the  hospital everyday.  Wholesome freezer meals do come in handy, especially if NICU parents have other children at home.
• Family and friends working as a team and even helping take care of the other children in the house (if the NICU parents have kids at home). 
• Visit the family in the hospital or meet for lunch.  Though visitation is limited due to wanting to limit the exposure to illnesses for the babies in the NICU, a friendly face can make a preemie parent's day a great one sometimes. On the other hand, sometimes if things are too overwhelming (depending on what's going on), visits aren't always the greatest. Just offering to be there in case the parents need you and letting them know that you're there is good. A lunch date is a great way to break up all those long hours spent in the NICU.
• Offering support in the form of 'being there' for the family is welcomed, and offering support in the form of donation to the the hospital is as well. Friends of ours have been donating monthly to Mount Sinai Hospital since the birth of Little One. We donate monthly as well.
• A friend and I have organized a benefit concert where all proceeds will be going to the Perinatal Parents Association at Mount Sinai Hospital.  I certainly would not have survived Little One's first 72 days of life without their help and support. I am forever indebted and putting on this event is just a little way of saying thank you and giving back.  I really want to do for others what was done for me. As a parent of a NICU baby, I know what it's like to have a baby in the NICU. Knowing I had the support of the Perinatal Parents Association really did help me in those scary first few days, weeks, and months.

It has only been recently (as in the past year or two) that I have met many other preemie mamas and I always find it surprising to discover just how many moms have had similar experiences with having a preemie and having to spend days, weeks, and months in the NICU.  This guest post was written by fellow preemie mama, Liz from Frugal Mom Eh!



November is international Prematurity Awareness month which is dedicated to raising funds and awareness for and about premature birth.


Did you know that over 13 million babies are born prematurely worldwide each year? Prematurity is the number one killer of newborn babies and very often those preemies who do survive suffer long term health effects. So how can you help? Here are some ideas!


1. If you are a preemie Mom or Dad, share your story online through blogging or on a pregnancy related forum.

2. Let Family and Friends know about International Prematurity Awareness Month.

3. Donate preemie sized clothing to your local NICU.

4. Donate baby blankets you are finished with to your local NICU.

5. Knit hats and mittens in preemie sizes and donate to the NICU.

6. Organise a “Home for Dinner” event through The Ronald McDonald House. (This is where a group of people can volunteer to spend an evening cooking for the families staying at The Ronald McDonald House.) 

7. For nursing mothers, Donate Breastmilk. Alberta is home to the Calgary Mother’s Milk Bank, the very first Breastmilk Bank in Canada. Your local NICU may also accept breastmilk.

8. Donate Blood to the Red Cross.

9. Donate Funds to The Ronald McDonald House or The Calgary Mother’s Milk Bank.

10. Donate to or Volunteer with The Linden Fund.

Most of you already know that November is always a hard time for me.  November is Preemie Awareness Month and it's also the month that Little One cannon-balled her way into existence.  Every November, I get really weepy just thinking of what we went through and how some days I thought we would never leave the NICU with our baby. There were days when I was nervous going to the NICU, not knowing whether Little One was having a good or bad day.

Who knew that I'd ever have to know what "CC" and "Q" meant. CC is a liquid measurement of volume.  Little One was fed by NG-Tube (nasal gastric tube). Q is used for "every", for example: "Little One's feeds are given Q2" or "Meds are administered Q6". Meaning, Little One is given her milk every two hours and meds every six hours. Low-flow, ROP, desat, tachypneic, and other terms used in the NICU were words that became common to all the parents of preemies in the NICU with us.

It was surreal thinking of a tiny 980 gram baby having to undergo so many tests and even a lumbar puncture (spinal tap).

Having just given birth and having to commute to and from the hospital every day and at the end of the night having to leave your baby in the hospital is not anything I'd ever wish on anyone.

I'm thankful that we developed the friendships we did with other NICU families and with the staff at Mount Sinai's NICU.  The doctors nurses, RTs, and staff were fabulous.  Though we had our friends and family, unless you're not living or experiencing what other parents of preemies are living through, you just cannot fully understand what it's like. I appreciated the "Oh, don't worry. She'll be fine", but the truth was, we never really did know if she would be fine or not.

I couldn't have survived those rocky first few months of Little One's life in the  hospital without our NICU family.  We were there for Little One's first Christmas and for New Year's. It was so lonely, depressing, and emotionally draining to be separated geographically from family and my husband for the holidays. Hubby was able to spend Christmas Day with us, though he had to travel 6 hours in horrible Winter weather to be with us.

The staff and our "second family" (everyone in the NICU) took such great care of not only Little One, but of US. This is why each month, we donate to Mount Sinai.  However, this year, I would like to make a special donation to the NICU for helping us through some challenging times.

With November being Preemie Awareness Month (and Little One's birth month), and the Holidays coming up, I want to do something for other parents who will be spending their Holidays with their babies in the NICU this year.

My friend and I will be putting on a concert with all the proceeds going towards helping families in the NICU at Mount Sinai. My friend's husband is part of an amazing band called Rural Roots and they will be performing for our concert.

It's so heartwarming knowing that our community reaches out and helps those in need.  I remember when people on the Island heard of Little One's early birth, the love we received was enough to make us cry.  Some of the ladies on the Island knit tiny hats and booties for the babies in the NICU, others made blankets, and donated other things.

I just want to give back to those who were there for us when we really needed the love and support. Four years later, and we have a happy, healthy little girl.  We realize how blessed we are and would like to offer some kind of support to other families who are going through what we went through.

Thank you, everyone at Mount Sinai's NICU and to the Perinatal Parent Association/the Parent Advisory! A big thanks to Rural Roots for performing! We appreciate you sharing your amazing music with us.  They're a great local band.  They play an eclectic mix of music from a variety of musical genres.

Date: Saturday, November 24, 2012
Time: 7pm - 11pm (doors open at 6pm)
Location: Tehkummah Triangle Club
Tickets: $10/person, children free
Contact: christine (at) lifeonmanitoulin (dot) com

There will be food and refreshments for sale, and a silent auction will take place.  Islanders, we hope to see you at the concert.  Come and enjoy some great music and fun times...and remember, it's for a good cause.

For more information about Preemie Awareness Month, visit the March of Dimes. I realize this is an American site, but raising awareness re: premature birth is very important in Canada as well. To learn more about Mount Sinai Hospital's Perinatal Parents Association, click here.
To read our story, click here.

While tweeting with my friend, @inkscrblr, I was reminded that this time four years ago, I was put on complete hospital bed rest.  Just thinking of what was going on four years ago brought tears to my eyes.  To be  honest, sometimes those memories are so far behind, locked in the deep recesses of my mind. Just a memory.  The fears and emotions were definitely real, but the end result is a happy, healthy, bright, active, busy, sometimes challenging and spirited little girl.

Most of the time, I forget that she was so premature and I try to put the past in the past.  Many times, those days, weeks, and months in the NICU seem so far away.  Sometimes they seem like they never happened.  If you see this vivacious, curious, strong Errr...Strong willed little girl, you may not believe we even went through any of that.

Seeing posts and tweets that remind us of those early days does make me cry a little.  They also serve as a reminder of the love, endurance, and strength we all have within us.  There were days I thought we would never survive, but here we are.

I've been a TELUS client since 2000.  Wow! That's twelve years! Twelve!  I have never switched over to any other provider because TELUS has been good to me. Really good.

When I left Japan after teaching there for two years, I was addicted to my cell phone.  Of course, returning to Canada, I was shocked at how much more advanced technology was in Asia. My cell phone in Japan was super sleek, light, thin, and tiny! Cell phone costs were pretty reasonable, and everyone in Japan had a cell phone. Yes, even grandmothers had cell phones!

I returned to Canada and researched several cell phone companies.  Of all the providers, TELUS seemed like the best in terms of customer service, deals, coverage, and prices.

Throughout the years, I've upgraded phones at the end of each three year contract.  I've always had fabulous service with TELUS and whenever I had any issues with billing or anything I wanted to question, I always called customer service and spoke to a rep.  I have to say that I love TELUS because of their service. Perhaps I've been lucky, but I have always had the kindest, most understanding, most patient, most helpful reps on the other end of the line.  I'd like to think this is standard, but I really am impressed.

When I moved to Manitoulin Island from Toronto, I contemplated giving up my cell phone because I was moving to the middle of nowhere.  Before I did anything rash, I went to the TELUS location at Scarborough Town Centre and asked to see a map displaying the coverage TELUS had in Northern Ontario. Sure enough, Manitoulin Island was covered.

To this day, people visiting us on the Island complain that their cell service is horrible. I always have my five bars! Signal is always strong! With the exception of a few dead zones, I've got perfect cell reception. If you're on Manitoulin Island, TELUS is fabulous! Five bars all the time, and I'm only on 3G!

I think the biggest reason I've stayed with TELUS is that back in 2008, I was sent by air ambulance to Toronto's Mount Sinai Hospital because of my high risk pregnancy. For weeks prior to delivery, I was on strict hospital bed rest. My husband was on the Island (a 6 hour drive) and we chatted daily about baby's development, how I was doing, me being homesick, etc.

When Little One cannon-balled her way into the world, I texted Hubby to come down to the hospital. She was born at 28 weeks gestation and at 980 grams (just about 2 lbs, 3 oz).  What was supposed to be the happiest, most beautiful time of our lives had turned into the scariest, most emotional experience.  Multiple phone calls a day were made back and forth between Hubby and me. I'd call him if Little One was having a good day. I'd call him if she was having a bad day.

"Little One needs a spinal tap. Do you know if lumbar punctures are okay? What are the odds of something bad happening?"

"She's on 4CCs of breast milk."

"She's on low-flow."

"Little One might go off C-PAP in a few days."

"They said she might need a blood transfusion."

"I miss you. I don't want to do this alone anymore."

It was heart-wrenching.  To have to go through having a baby in the NICU for 70+ days is one thing, but to have to do it while your spouse is hours away and could only commute every other weekend? Brutal.

By the second month of being in the hospital, I received a phone call from TELUS. The rep told me that my bill was a whopping almost $2000! WHAT?! Prior to that, my bill rarely went over $35. We spoke. I cried. I said I had a long distance plan. I explained my situation. We had a sick baby in the hospital, my husband and I communicated via our cell phones, etc.

After speaking with several people, TELUS managed to knock down a huge chunk of the bill. Though I did have a long distance plan, we didn't take into consideration roaming fees and air-time. TELUS took the time to really chat with me and they were able to reduce the bill considerably.

Now, with social media, I've been able to connect with TELUS (mainly on Twitter because I'm a Twitter addict).  I love the interaction, the help, and the support TELUS gives their clients. The TELUS social media team is pretty great. I can attest to this because I was recently able to meet up with them at the ShesConnected Conference in Toronto on Oct. 19-20. They are just as fun, fabulous, and full of info as they are online!

I'm truly thankful for being able to chat in person. That's what I love the most about the ShesConnected Conference. For me, it's all about building relationships with people and cultivating those relationships.

Thank you TELUS! I'm a client for life.  Special thanks to the amazing @EmmaBMiller, for taking the time to chat with me about cell phones when I was asking about the best one for keeping up with all everything in the social media world. We've already established that I need something with a better camera too.

Thank you, @EmmaBMiller, @DonnaARamirez, @enapolano and the rest of the @TELUS social media team.

Disclosure - This is NOT a sponsored post. I received absolutely zero compensation. I am writing this post because TELUS has wowed me with their customer service.

The past few days, weeks, and months have been filled with excitement at the news of many (yes, many!) friends who are expecting babies in the upcoming months and early next year.  I am SO thrilled for all my friends and cannot wait to go shopping for baby presents! With this, of course comes the burning questions of  "So, when are you guys having number two?" and "Are you guys thinking of having more kids?"

Part of me would love to have another baby.  I'd love to give Little One a sibling.  Then there's the sometimes not having patience for poor Little One as it is, and thinking of adding another child to the mixture?  When I parent, I like to give 110% all the time and I hate the feeling of not being there fully or not doing more with Little One. I don't like my child be babysat by TV or by electronic gadgets or game systems. I like to do outdoorsy things with her, do crafts together, go on 'adventures', play, read, and do things together.

I also think of the fact that if I have a baby soon, I'll be forty years old when the baby is a toddler. Do I really want to be in my forties and running after a little one? I am having a rough time waking up once or twice in the middle of the night when Little One has nightmares or growing pains!

Then there's the fact that A) Little One was a preemie and I had a high risk pregnancy, and B) I'm getting older. Oh, people remind me of that constantly.  Just recently, someone told me "You will be thirty-seven years old in December. Now is the time to do it if you want another baby. Soon your eggs will be all dried up and all your chances will be gone. It will be too late for you."  Ummmm...Thanks.

I went through HELL with my pregnancy. What was supposed to be the happiest time of our life turned out to be the scariest time for us.  We never knew from one day to the next if our baby was going to survive.  I know with all pregnancies, there are concerns and worries, but when you already know the chances of not carrying to term may be your reality, then it's even scarier.  The roller coaster of emotions didn't stop after she was delivered though.  At 28 weeks gestation, though a baby that young can survive, many times it's not without complications.

It makes me cry when I think of what we went through and how scary it was every day walking into the NICU and not knowing if Little One was having a good or bad day.  I'm reminded of all of this every November. November is Preemie Awareness Month and November is when Little One catapulted herself into existence with no doctors in the room. SCARY!

Do I want another baby?  I would love one.  The truth is, I'm scared.

It's hard to believe that this time three years ago, I was sent to Toronto by air ambulance and was placed on strict hospital bed rest.  I didn't realize that I'd be spending the next weeks/months practically living in the NICU with my baby.

That was when I really started blogging.  After all, there wasn't much I was able to do while confined to the bed and on my back.

I blogged about my worries and concerns.

I blogged about how terrified I was.

I was touched and shocked by how many people around the globe e-mailed me, left me comments, phoned, sent cards and good luck trinkets, and even visited me in a time I needed comfort and support the most.

My family and friends were very supportive. They visited me in the hospital, sent cards, and called me. I suspect the phone calls were to ensure that I didn't go loopy while on bed rest or that I wouldn't get depressed with being 6 hours away from my husband and for such a long period of time. Maybe my loved ones were concerned that I might be overly worried with what may or may not have happened with a baby being born so soon.

Thank you, everyone. Your support kept me going and kept me strong during my high risk pregnancy. You have touched our lives in ways you cannot even imagine.

That was three years ago.

This is now.

When you're a newly married couple, people always ask, "When are you going to start a family?"
When you have your first child, people always seem to ask, "When are you going to have Baby #2?"
I can't help but feel a little bit of anxiety when people ask these rather innocent questions. Though I do wish for a younger sibling for Little One, I can't help but be scared.

As we approached High Park, my heart began to race with excitement and anticipation. In the distance, I could see the big bouncy castles and hear the children's laughter. The park was filled with families and their NICU graduates. I wasn't sure what to expect with this being the first Mount Sinai Hospital NICU Graduates Picnic we were able to attend.
I felt overwhelmed with happiness. All these families who had spent long days, weeks, and even months in the NICU were all together in one place, sharing in the celebration of all the babies who were in the NICU. The appreciation and thankfulness I felt for the doctors, nurses, staff, volunteers, and other families cannot be expressed in words. There are no words to adequately describe how I feel.

Tears poured, as hugs were exchanged. "Thank you for being there and helping us get through some of the hardest times we've ever had to experience" and "I don't know what I would have done if  you weren't in the NICU with me" could be heard by many of the parents. We all shared like experiences. We all had special little miracles. Some were born just over a pound at birth and are now happy, healthy, busy toddlers.


To be honest, though one can never forget those early days in the NICU, as the years pass and Little One grows, it all seems so surreal that we went through all of the scary, rocky times in our baby's first months. Little One is two and a half years old now! The date on this photo is wrong. It should have been November 19, 2008.



Being able to see the people who spent time in the NICU with us when Little One was there just brought back so many memories. It was a celebration, a reunion, and just a very happy occasion.
Little One is a healthy child. Developmentally, she is just like any other toddler her age. She is just a regular kid, but who had a rocky start.

It was fantastic to see all the preemies who were in the NICU with Little One. I cannot believe how much they've all grown! They are all doing so well! No photos of the picnic or families and children who attended the picnic will be posted on here (due to privacy reasons).

Thank you to everyone involved in making the Preemie Graduates Picnic 2011 a very memorable one.
* Photos of Little One at the picnic courtesy of the talented  www.beyondinfinitiphotography.com :) Thank you!

I realize she is now two years old and a sibling would be good for her (and a welcome addition to the family). I realize that I am 35 years old already, but I can't help my feelings.  I'm worried, terrified, and full of anxiety. Part of me desperately wants to have another baby, but the other part wonders if we should.  Our experience with Little One being premature and in the hospital for so long makes me wonder if we should even take that chance. We may not be as lucky as we were with Little One coming out of it all so well.

 
I wrote about my feelings and concerns over at Mom Nation (my first post on the Mom Nation site!).