There was a time when I used to blog for the love of blogging.  I moved to an island in the middle of one of the Great Lakes and needed an outlet to ward off isolation (though I was in love with the Island, I missed my loved ones) and to share my new life with my friends and family far away.

I blogged about my life on an island and in a small rural Northern Ontario town. Did you know that the Island is the world's largest fresh water lake island? The blog also served as a place where I planned my wedding details and asked readers for tips and advice. I asked about things like wedding etiquette, what kinds of bombonieres to give guests at our wedding, what kind of food to serve, music to play, etc. That was back in 2006. I had no idea that people other than my friends and family could read the blog until comments started filtering in.

Why would anyone other than my friends and family want to read a boring blog like mine?

All of a sudden, I had a core group of friends in the blogosphere whose blogs I frequented.  We commented on each other's blogs religiously.  We blogged for the love of blogging.  Things were different back then. I miss the daily banter between Ms.Mamma, JellyJules, Uncivil, Wisconsin Candy Dish, and Curiosity Killer.  The only one from that vintage who still corresponds via the blog regularly is CanineCologne.  Though I keep in touch with my old school bloggy friends, it's outside of the blog. Canine has actually visited us with her family twice in the past few years and is a regular fixture in our loves via email, phone calls, text messages and care packages.

Where was I?  Oh, right...

Then I ended up on complete bed rest for my high risk pregnancy, and to my surprise, blog friends around the world were watching, praying, giving me phone calls from California and New Zealand!  It's hard to describe the amazing friendships the blog brought me.  It was a community family that was built.  Genuine interest and genuine comments.

Little One catapulted herself into existence at 28 weeks gestation.  It the most difficult and the most terrifying time of my life.  Our life in the NICU lasted 72 days.  It was a long and challenging journey for us, yet she proved (and continues to prove) what a fighter she really is.

I had become a Mommy.

I was a Mom with a blog.  I guess by default, that made the blog a "Mom blog".  I blogged about life with a preemie, parenting, and everything under the sun.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.


All of a sudden, the blog morphed into something else.  It turned into a way I could supplement our family income.  I was able to put teaching English on the back burner because I was monetizing the blog.  I was shocked to see how the blog took on a life of its own.

There was a brief time a few years ago (I think Little One was two years old), when I wanted to shut down the blog.  I went on a brief hiatus.  It was turning into something that wasn't me.  I felt like I was losing my voice and losing the reason I started blogging in the first place.  Though the blog had been around since 2006, I didn't really start monetizing until 2009 and wasn't even seriously blogging until 2010.  That's when all the big opportunities started coming in.  The blog also became secondary to all the social media jobs I was getting as an offshoot of the blog.  My main job is with PTPA as their Social Media Community Manager on Twitter.  Had I not started a blog back in 2006, I wouldn't have opened up a Twitter account.  Had I not opened up a Twitter account, I would not have engaged and formed relationships like I did on Twitter.  Had I not done all of that, I wouldn't have been given the amazing jobs I am now happily working at.  It's almost dizzying to think of how one thing led to another and how so much has changed.

A girlfriend of mine shared her new blog with me and as I read, it was bitter sweet to me.  She recently moved to the Island and started her blog for pretty much the same reasons I did back in 2006.  Her blog posts made me smile.  Reading her posts made me wistful and nostalgic. That was me seven years ago.  Holy smokes! Seven years? That's crazy!

As I read my friend's blog, I remember a time when blogging was just blogging.  I remember a time when I blogged because I loved it.  I still love it, but sometimes I feel like the blogging world has turned blogs into something else.  It's not a bad thing - As long as we preserve our voice and continue to write about what we love and are passionate about.

I guess I just miss the older blogs where people used to visit and read each other's posts. I mean really read and comment.  Don't get me wrong.  I love each and every comment I receive and I adore my friends and readers.  There's a kinship I feel with those in my blogging community.  I do feel people who comment on the blog are genuine in their comments.  It's just that somewhere between the reviews and giveaways, and producing posts like you're a machine, I think we've lost something.  We may be gaining readers and followers, but part of me just misses the old school blog.

I love the blog and all it has given me.  It's an extension of me and something to keep for posterity.  It has given me so many incredible opportunities from ambassadorships and conferences, to sponsored posts and making fabulous friends (many of whom are not simply online friends, but in real life friends too). Feeling a little nostalgic and wistful tonight. Kind of miss the old school blogs.

Know what I'm sayin'?

End of rant.

Please show my friend, New Country Mama Manitoulin some love.  She's new around here. :)

It's no surprise that children learn from observation.  They watch our every move. They hear our words, despite sometimes having selective hearing.

In essence, we as parents really are our children's role models and their first teachers in life.  This is why how we behave in front of our children is so very important.  How we behave is a large part of what we teach our children is important.

I keep thinking of what kind of person I want to raise.  I hope to do my best to raise Little One as having her own ideas, but also knowing how to interact within society even if others don't agree with her ideas. I want her to be strong, but not pig-headed. I want her to be sensitive, but not a push-over. I want her to be compassionate, empathetic, understanding, loving, and I want her to know how to stand up for herself and what she believes in. I hope we raise someone who is considerate, and most of all, respectful to others.

This sounds a bit lofty, since she's only four years old.

I was just thinking of different scenarios and how to deal with them. For example, when someone slights you or spreads vicious rumours about you (these things happen in everyone's lifetime), do we teach our daughter to take the high road or stand up for herself and say something even if the repercussions may not be positive?

Is being quiet and ignoring other people's idle thoughts or malicious rumours the perfect revenge? One can very well say that just going on with your life and paying no attention to stupidity is the best thing to do. What about putting your foot down and getting your transgressors to tell you to your face what they didn't have the gumption to say to you directly in the first place? Do we teach our daughter to stand up for what is just and right?

I am still undecided on what to teach Little One regarding how to deal with people who have slighted her. For now, she's in Junior Kindergarten, and I'm hoping I have a few more years to figure out how to prepare her for the world around her.

In the meantime, I am reminded of this great quote:

Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” - Dale Carnegie

Right now, Little One is so good. She hasn't been jaded or tainted.  At this age, she's still a blank canvas, if you will. She's full of love and trust...and she believes everyone in the world has a kind heart.

Though I know we cannot protect our children from the world outside the home, we can certainly prepare them.

Wow. I know I've said this before, but parenting really is not for the faint of heart.

It was a day like any other.  The sunshine was streaming through my office window, the breeze blowing the curtains to and fro, and the birds chirping outside on a warm sunny day.

**WARNING** Not my usual happy, light, fun post :)


It's been just a few months since my grandmother passed away and so far I've been holding things together just fine. Things are busy, life must go on, and there's a little person who needs me to function like a normal human being.  It just hits me sometimes though. It comes in waves. The overwhelming sense of loss and the sadness just take me by surprise.
My cousin found one of my grandmother's pieces of writing. It reminded me of just how much I miss her. I thought of the last time I held her hand and how much my heart hurt.

Hubby, Little One and I have been absent from our church for a good part of the Summer. Summer is really busy on the farm and Hubby rarely gets a chance to leave the farm. He needs to maximize daylight hours and get the most out of his days. There's always so much that needs to get done.

In church on Sunday, our minister's words just hit me. I know I don't talk about religion much on my blog, but every time we attend church service, the words just make so much sense and totally apply to what I'm going through at the time.

I've had a lot of things going on in my life lately. Worries. Stress. Anxiety. People see me in public and think I  "have it together". I really don't. I've also been creating more worries, stress and anxiety for myself and my husband. The basement hasn't been finished yet and it's been in the works for the past four years. I can't keep up with the weeds in our vegetable and fruit gardens. My flower gardens are a mess. I can't keep up with my house work. It's insane. I want things done and I want it done now.

Then I heard the words come out of our minister's mouth. He reminded us of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

I was reminded that we need to have patience. Patience is not a virtue I possess and have been struggling hard with. I know I need to work harder at it and this has been so apparent lately in so many facets of my life. My mother-in-law always tells me to "Let go and let God".

After the church service, we had lunch with Grandma (aka: my mother-in-law).


My Dad had spent the morning landscaping my front yard. I almost cried. I'd been trying to get to it for a while now, but was too busy. He just came over and did it. I am so thankful for my Dad.

Hubby took some of the afternoon off work and put farm chores aside to spend some time just lounging around with his family. Little One, Chance, Spike, Hubby and I played in the sprinkler and relaxed on the porch drinking iced tea. Well, Spike and Chance didn't drink iced tea. They had water.



Our little girl loves her Daddy so much. She cries every time Daddy or Mommy have to work. She just wants us to be together and hang out. She was SO  happy today. We just sat on the deck, but she loved it. She kept putting Hubby's hand on top of my hand and kept saying, "Daddy, hold Mommy's hand. Kiss Mommy. Group hug!!!" and she gave us both a big hug. She's so sweet. I love my little girl.

I have to remember that I really do have a lot to be thankful for. Taking time out, having Hubby spend time with Little One and me, and me going unplugged for much of the weekend certainly helped.

I leave you with this video. Totally brings me back to my high school days. I loved Warrant and was in love with Jani Lane! RIP Jani! For some reason, whenever I'm feeling my not so peppy self, this song always comes to mind.

I recently wrote a PTPA Blogaholics post about the trials and tribulations challenges (read: soon-to-drive-me-to-mental-breakdown-maybe-it's-time-for-a-Malibu-and-pineapple-now difficulties) I've been having with our three year old just in the past few weeks. By the way, I was just kidding when I said my child is driving me to a mental breakdown and to the bottle. Totally kidding. She's a sweetheart and I love her to bits. She's just gotten into this feisty, stubborn, whiny mode lately.

Whining drives me nuts. I hate to say it, but it does. I cannot deal with the whining. Whiny kids make my ears bleed. There. I said it.

Secret Mommy confession:  I actually locked myself in the bathroom the other morning so I could have two minutes to myself.  Of course, my three year old had to get out of bed and start banging on the door. Then she started crying. When I opened the door to see why she was screaming her head off, I saw that there was a puddle in front of the bathroom door.

Great. I just made my child pee all over the floor because I needed two minutes to myself. *sigh*

Poor kid. She's been doing such an awesome job with the toilet training and wakes up dry in the morning. She only had a few accidents when we were visiting her cousins on our mini vacation in Haliburton. I guess new environment, lots of distractions, and too much fun with the cousins totally threw her off. She didn't get to the toilet on time twice or three times. This time, however, it was Mommy's fault that she peed in front of our bathroom.

Anyway, I have to focus on all the things I absolutely love about 3.

Little One comes up with the funniest expressions. She's had a word explosion and is such a chatterbox. She is now able to correct us when we're wrong. "I'm not Honey! I'm [insert Little One's real name here]!" or "Lola (Grandma in Filipino), it's not 'You make me happy when skies are blue! It's you make me happy when skies are gray!'"

She also knows how to reason and understands consequences. "Daddy! You're a bad boy! Go to your mother's house!" (I have no idea where she got that from! Honestly!)

Me: Why weren't you nice to your friend?
Little One: Because she hurt my feeeewings!

"When I'm an adult, can you buy me a latte?"

Yes, she comes up with some gems that totally make us laugh.  I need to remember that this period of Little One's childhood is so special...and it's fleeting. These are but mere moments in time that can never be retrieved. I won't have her this little for much longer. This makes me really, really sad.

I also need to remember this:

 If you really want to see what I was going on about earlier, here's the post. I welcome comments, tips, advice, and anything you can say to help me keep my sanity. Please and thank you.

There is a difference, people.

I had a conversation with someone today about a certain FoodNetwork Canada TV show. The person I spoke with quickly said, "Oh, that doesn't interest me at all" and proceeded to talk about something completely different. This was after about twenty minutes of me listening to this person's gripes and grievances. I was just excited about this show and thought it was interesting. Nope. Shut down!

If it's okay for someone to talk about things that matter to them, entertain them, frustrate them, sadden them, make them happy, then why can't other people express these same things? Is it not fair for a listener to be able to speak as well? Don't other people's thoughts, opinions, and concerns matter?

Why bother even having a conversation with someone, if all you are going to do is have a monologue?

I asked Hubby today what he thought I should do. It's always the same thing. I just listen, listen, listen while this person talks, talks, talks and criticizes everyone. It's actually really depressing. When this person said, "How awful is it that so-and-so is behaving so badly?" or "So-and-so has been rumoured to be having an affair".

I. Don't. Care.

It's none of my business. I don't even know said person. I almost wanted to say, "Oh, that doesn't interest me at all". I didn't of course. Perhaps I should have.

The worst part is, some people don't seem to have a social filter. There's a difference between being honest and being rude.

Maybe it's just me, but the world would be a much happier place if people just learned how to talk to each other. Nicely. Politely. Courteously.

"Ewww! GROSS! That fancy dancy international $h!t you cook all the time just sounds weird to me. Your poor husband. I don't know how your husband eats that stuff. Don't you do steak and potatoes or something normal?" can easily be rephrased as "I haven't been introduced to international food and am actually quite hesitant to try it. Good for your husband for trying it".

Now, wouldn't that be a lot easier and kinder? Why bother spreading negativity? I don't see how it benefits anyone.

I'm not sure if my husband finds my idiosyncrasies mildly entertaining and amusing or downright crazy.

He has learned in the past six years of our marriage that I hate it when things are missing or are not in their proper place. Now, with a 3 year old at home, things seem to go missing more often than not these days. I purposefully only let Little One play with puzzles with me so I can keep track of all the pieces. I have to count all the pieces when putting them away so I know that no pieces are missing. It drives me crazy when Hubby and Little One just put things away willy nilly or haphazardly.

Being the type of person who needs to have things in their proper place and living with people who don't seem bothered by a little chaos is a little bit stressful difficult.

Missing marker caps, misplaced Melissa & Doug play food, and just any missing toy piece...It drives me crazy!

Me: [Insert Little One's real name here]! Where are all the covers for your markers?!?! Wait. Where are your markers?! You're missing some!"

Little One: (Quiet)

This is what I found in the living room.

I was venting about how all of this stresses me out and how I feel it makes my workload just that much more. That, plus when Little One "helps" with laundry, she takes all my clean, folded, and ready to put away laundry and throws them everywhere. She thinks it's fun and loves watching it rain clothes. "Look, Mommy! It's raining underwear!!!"

My mother-in-law told me the other day, "So what if there's laundry on the floor? Just pick it up later. It's not hurting anything. And, be thankful she is able to throw clothing and make a mess."

I suppose she is right.

I often wonder what the obsession with absolutes is. Why are people so preoccupied about what is absolutely right or absolutely wrong in their opinion? It is really interesting and something I am curious about.

I recently wrote a guest post on the Canadian Beef blog about my life as a farmer's wife. It was how I went from city to country, and vegetarian to omnivore.

A commenter wrote:

"The animals may be treated well but you’re still killing them in the end. A true vegetarian would not have been swayed."

This is true on all accounts. We do raise cattle and in the end they do get killed. We don't kill them. They are bought and sent off-Island. Ultimately, they do end up getting killed though. This is not something I think I can ever get used to. It's always really sad for me to see the truck leave with the animals.

"A true vegetarian would not have been swayed."

Things are not always black and white. I don't feel I have to defend or justify my decisions, but I suppose a little explanation is fine. The background information: I spent most of my adult years as a non-meat eater. I wouldn't even touch anything that had been cooked with meat or in a non-vegetable broth. People would tell me to "just pick the meat out and don't eat it" or "don't drink the broth then!"

Back in the day, it was not as easy to be vegetarian as it is today. There weren't so many vegetarian options. At restaurants, I'd have either a baked potato and salad or fries and salad. Now, there are so many delicious options out there and at home, we eat meatless meals too.

Back when I was a teenager and in my early to mid twenties, people balked at the fact that I was vegetarian. They said I was "difficult" to cater too because of my beliefs and decisions I made on what I ate. I was even told once to "go grind your own soy beans" when I asked for soy milk instead of cow's milk at a cafe.

Now that I've started eating a bit of meat again, I still get balked at. This time it's from the vegetarians. Meat eaters gave me flack when I didn't eat meat and non-meat eaters give me flack for eating a bit of meat every once in a while.

"A true vegetarian would never have been swayed."

True. However, like I said, things are not always black and white. I could still live a meat-free life, but years ago, I ended up having to get regular B-12 shots at the doctor's office. I became anemic, my hair started to fall out by the clump-full. It wasn't that I wasn't following a "proper" vegetarian diet. I was. I was followed up by the doctor, who made sure I was getting all the nutrients I needed. My body was just not able to do completely meatless. To this day, I make sure we have Meatless Mondays and other meatless meals. We only eat beef once or twice a week, chicken once or twice, and seafood once or twice. We have lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. We have a varied diet and with all food groups. Everything in moderation.

Before people make comments about absolutes, it is important to understand that there may be something more than just on the surface that makes a person decide what they do. Even so, is it up to a person to say what is right or wrong?

Not that this is a good comparison in any way, but it's kind of like when a woman who has to bottle or formula feed her baby and people tell her (or insinuate that) she is not a "good" or a "real" mother if she doesn't breastfeed her child. I've done both. If I had the choice, I would have strictly nursed my baby. Because circumstances dictated otherwise, I was forced to bottle feed her in her early days. Because she was a preemie and in the NICU for the first 70 days of her life, I had to do a combination of breastfeeding and the nurses feeding her a bottle of breast milk when I wasn't at the hospital.

I am a breastfeeding advocate. I believe that breast milk is liquid gold and it's what is best for babies and for mothers. This said, I also understand that sometimes breastfeeding isn't in the cards for some moms and babies. Sometimes it's a personal decision. Sometimes it's because of circumstances beyond our control.

What is the need for absolutes anyway? You're either vegetarian or a carnivore. You're either a breastfeeder or a bottle feeder. In the end, who really cares?

What is important is to do your research so you can make informed decisions for what is right for you. Live your life and let others live theirs too.

When you're a newly married couple, people always ask, "When are you going to start a family?"
When you have your first child, people always seem to ask, "When are you going to have Baby #2?"
I can't help but feel a little bit of anxiety when people ask these rather innocent questions. Though I do wish for a younger sibling for Little One, I can't help but be scared.

What happened to my sweet, angelic, little baby? Little One was the sweetest, *gentlest, most compassionate little girl ever. All of a sudden...BAM! No, it wasn't the "terrific twos" that did it for us. She was still so easy when she was two. Now, she's almost three (she'll be three on Remembrance Day) and is really testing out the boundaries.

Being a preemie, she's always been the smallest out of her group of friends and she was always the one to get bullied. She was fine. She never pushed back or hit back. Now, all of a sudden, she's doing what all the other kids were doing. It's driving me crazy!

No matter how calmly I try to deal with the situation, it always ends up with her, me, or both of us in tears. I've tried everything. Positive reinforcement, distraction...everything. Though Hubby and I are not fans of "Time Outs", we've even tried that technique. To be honest, it means absolutely nothing to Little One. She'll cry, do her "time out", but the pushing and hitting still continue.

This has all just started within the past month. She watches her friends and soaks everything up like a sponge. She imitates her friends and tries to get away with things. Her latest thing has been learning how to spit and it drives me crazy. I do realize that children go through a stage where they learn to be independent and test the boundaries, and see what they can get away with, but this is really exhausting me. I also realize that we can't keep her from play groups, play dates, or social gatherings for fear she'll pick up unacceptable behaviour. She's a toddler. She'll go through that no matter what. It's just our job to teach her what is appropriate and what is unacceptable. I try to show her that it isn't nice to push our friends. It hurts our friends when we push and it hurts their feelings. It's still not hitting home though.

She is a really great kid, but is really trying my patience and testing boundaries now. I am at my wits' end. I was joking to a friend that I am so stressed out that if this persists, I don't know if I'll last until Little One's fifth birthday. My friend laughed and said, "Or, she won't last until her fifth birthday!"

*sigh* You've really got to have a good sense of humour if you're a parent. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether you should laugh or cry!

If any of you seasoned veteran parents out there have any tips on correcting this kind of behaviour, please (PLEASE!) share!

No, seriously. I'm begging you! :)


* The English grammar teacher in me wants to write "gentlest", as it is the proper comparative form for the adjective, but the other part of me wants to say "most gentle" because it sounds better! I suppose both are fine. I've got more pressing matters to deal with than grammar at the moment! ;)

Actually, it's not my toddler who is having issues with this whole potty training thing. It's me!

Part of it is due to me feeling guilty. Guilty that I have to work all day and not spend the time I need to be with her to teach her how to use the potty. She's pretty much potty training herself.

No. Seriously. She is.

Little One wears panties at home or goes around au naturel and tells us, "I have to go toilet!" She's been pretty good at #2, which surprises me. I've read that some children have a harder time with #2.  It's #1 she forgets about and has little accidents sometimes. Occasionally, I'll step into a warm puddle and moments later will hear, "I peed!"

Another thing is that though I should embrace each and every milestone and enjoy each stage of childhood, Little One being almost potty trained makes me a little sad. It signals the end of her babyhood. Of course it means the end of diapers (wooo hooo!), but the end of babyhood too.

Yes, I realize she's no longer a baby and I don't treat her that way. It doesn't make it easier though. I feel like having to work and being with students all day means I spend more time with other people's children than my own child.

One last potty issue is that I feel pressured by other moms who say things like, "Oh. She's not potty trained yet?" or "My child was out of her diapers before she turned two!"

Little One's pediatrician and Neonatologist mentioned that by 3, children are "ready" to start potty training and they "understand" what it's all about. She said that many parents rush their children and think that "Oh! The magical number has to be 2. By 2, they need to be out of their diapers!"

The more reading and research I've been doing, the more I realize that Little One is on the right track. She's showing interest in going on the toilet, she knows what to do, she tells us (most of the time) when she needs to go, and she's pleased as punch whenever she has a successful trip to the potty.

I guess what I really need to get into my head is that all children are different. They don't have to go by the same time tables...and, don't compare! This would be a lot easier if people didn't compare. Why do people do that? I know that we don't say, "Well, your child must be delayed because Little One was doing that a year earlier than your child" or "Wow. I can't believe he is so far behind! Our child was walking, feeding herself, saying the alphabet, talking, and writing her thesis and defending it before she was 2!"

Fortunately for Little One, I don't project these feelings onto her. I don't want her to grow up with a complex or anything. Instead, I keep the annoying things people say to myself (Ha! Or now on the blog!) and hope I don't die of stress or an anxiety attack.

Who says things like that? Why would it even matter? What pleasure do people get in comparing babies, toddlers, children?


Do any of you have inspirational potty stories to share? Tips, perhaps?

*Photo of Little One just after she got into one of our students' toiletry bags. She's covered head to toe in toothpaste. Nice.

Lately it seems that all I write about is what my toddler has been up to, what kind of interesting baby/toddler products I've discovered, and pretty much all of that boring stuff that comes with everyday life. I could write about how depressing it can sometimes be to be a former city girl trying to adapt to life on a farm. Let me first say that I love the farm and I love where we live. It's just the hardships that come with farming, and the death and dying part I have a hard time with. I could write about how difficult it is to watch a newborn calf die or how incredibly sad it is to see a mother cow die after childbirth. These things do happen.
Instead, I will write about how my ESL students say that "the outside air smells like caramel" when we boil our maple sap to make maple syrup.

Instead, I'll blog about how my two year old daughter makes me all mushy and gushy with all the cute things she comes up with.

In the past two weeks, she's had big jump in her speech. She comes up with things like "I happy, Mama!" or "Ahhh...Funny!"

She was having a minor meltdown the other day because she was tired and I had to wake her up so we could hit the road early in the morning (we were driving back to the Island from Montreal - an 11 hour drive!). I told her, "Honey, crying is for when  you're sad or hurt, and..."  then she interjected, "I sad, Mama! I sleeping!!!"  Good point. What was I thinking?

Today was the first time she has ever told me, "I love you, Mama!" and it totally melted my heart. Moments like these are priceless. I must always remember these moments of pure love...especially when my toddler tests my patience.


Today she also said "I like shopping!" when we were at the mall. Where on earth did she learn that sentence from!?!

 I  have come to the conclusion that I am just a very high-strung, high-stress kind of person. I've noticed that recently, I've been getting very overwhelmed with everything and something has got to change. Meditation hasn't seemed to be working. Exercise has been very helpful and I love it. It's just that when I get back from dance/pilates and Zumba classes, I get home and the feeling of being overwhelmed is back...almost immediately.

I figured I may need better organizational skills. For example: Make batches upon batches of meals on Sunday so that we have all our lunches and suppers ready for the entire week. Ummm...No. Can't seem to get all of that done on Sundays since weekends are always so busy and I can't really seem to get a lot accomplished when the toddler wants to undo everything I do.

 The cattle  have been very bad and continue to "jump fence" even when the "juice" is on. Apparently, they don't mind the electric fence so much. Of course, they have to plot their escape when Hubby is off the farm and I am on my way to work! Ack!

 We had a cold spell and our water pipes were frozen. That meant no water for us. No water means no working toilet, no shower, no water for cooking. I know a few generations ago, this was the norm and people made due by collecting water so they'd have it on hand. For me, it's just one more stress right now. Thank goodness Hubby got the pipes unfrozen last night! I almost told him that he'd have to take us out for supper so that we could use the toilet at the restaurant!


 Little One continues to be her adorable, busy self. She has taken to playing dress-up lately and has been wanting to wear costumes every day! We're on Day 2 right now of her wearing her lion costume all day. She refuses to take it off. Yes, she ended up going to our friend's house for a play date and dinner in her lion costume. She's in the barn with Hubby at the moment...in her lion costume and snowsuit. *sigh*
 She's been showing signs of wanting to potty train. She keeps taking off her diaper and telling us when it's time to go. She climbs onto her potty and tries to go. She isn't always successful. Oftentimes, she'll get there a moment too late. She is starting to grasp the concept though. I still think she's not ready for it yet, but she thinks she is.

 She's also been doing this extremely whiny routine lately. It's just been this past week that she has started doing her "fake cry". It's really quite stressful and annoying. I ask her what she wants or try to direct her attention to something else. Sometimes distraction works. Sometimes nothing works.

Hubby is thinking we should consider Baby #2 soon. I would love another baby, but I can't seem to get my act together with just the ONE! Juggling toddler, husband, family, household chores, helping with farm, meetings, committees, ESL student, teaching, and everything else...I'm so overwhelmed. Plus, now my once mild-mannered, extremely well-behaved toddler is now exceedingly whiny and clingy. I know she wants my full attention. She tells me! She grabs me by the hand and says, "Come now, Mama!" When I take her little hand and spend time with her and cuddle, read a book, or play a game with her, she is happy for the moment. Then she gets whiny again.

Though I never experienced postpartum depression, I am wondering why I'm feeling so overwhelmed now...when it's 2 years after I've had my daughter.

I must be the worst mother in the world, because the whining absolutely drives me bonkers! Then I think of how fortunate we are to have her with us, despite the whiny bouts. After all, we went through so much to bring her into this world. I feel guilty for even being overwhelmed. Ack!

Working moms out there: How do you manage to go to work, take care of your children, do everything at home and out of the home, and keep your sanity intact? Any helpful tips? What works for you?

Yes, I've gotten in touch with an old flame. I plan to have many clandestine encounters with this former love of mine.

We ignited our passion way back in 2007. For some reason, our love fizzled out after a while. My husband knew about this special relationship of mine and he supported it wholeheartedly. He actually encouraged it, and said that he saw how happy it made me! He remarked on how refreshed, renewed, rejuvinated, and exhilirated I looked after my daily rendez-vous!

Here you go. Straight from the vault, where I've kept the memories hidden since 2007! My old flame is none other than...Hip Hop Abs/Yoga Booty Ballet!!!

Sadly, it's true. I am an addict. Ever since Thanksgiving, my student and I have been hardcore working out. There are a few gyms on the Island, but we're so busy that I don't have time to commute to and from the gym. I have been doing Slim in 6 and Turbo Jam on and off for the past few years. They're excellent workouts, but I needed something new. I had received Yoga Booty Ballet and Hip Hop Abs with my Turbo Jam order, but never even thought of opening them. Here are some promotional photos of Yoga Booty Ballet and Hip Hop Abs. It's not as easy as it looks, people!

For some reason, I had the urge to see what it was all about. I think I was turned off because I am by no means a ballet dancer. I'm not graceful enough and I am in serious lack of poise. My mother enrolled me in jazz ballet when I was a kid. I took one lesson and then decided it wasn't for me. I'm not a girlie girl by any means. I'm also not very coordinated. I've got two left feet and can't seem to follow steps. I took a Hip Hop class when I lived in Toronto a few years ago. I swear, I looked like a chicken on crack. I'm embarrassed to say that I just don't have any sense of coordination.

I do love music and I do love dancing though. I love dancing to music where I can "feel" the music and follow the rhythm. That's why I used to love going to clubs that play reggae, calypso, soca, etc. Just let your body go with the flow!

There, in its original plastic wrap, lay my Yoga Booty Ballet/Hip Hop Abs DVD. It was time to check this baby out. We popped in the DVD and oh my goodness! It was like instant love! I wanted more and more and more! The workout was hard, but so much fun! I am officially addicted! I ask myself if I'm addicted to the workout or if I'm addicted to the feeling I get after the workout.

Oh, I don't have to worry about looking like a chicken on crack with all of the fancy footwork and gyrating body parts, because I'm in my own house! I keep my student and my husband entertained. That's for sure!
**I'm finding that even with dance class, Zumba, walking up and down the highway after work, and eating healthy, it's still not enough. Maybe doing all of the above and Yoga Booty Ballet/Hip Hop Abs might help even more?

Little One was quietly playing while I was doing the dishes. I stress the word "quietly". Of course, it was too quiet! I looked over my shoulder to see her with the sugar container and ALL its contents dumped all over the kitchen floor. She then started dancing all over the spilled sugar.

"Help, Mama! Help!", she smiled.

"Ohhhhh!!! Arrrrgh! [Insert Little One's real name here], why did you do that? That is not nice!"

I brought her over to her little chair near the kitchen window and told her to sit there. As if sitting there to contemplate what she had just done would even work. She's still too young to register the meaning of a time out. Sure, she's two, but she's younger than two (corrected age since she was a preemie).

Thinking hoping that she just might understand that she did something she wasn't supposed to do and that I was not happy, I sat her by the window. All of a sudden, she started laughing!

"Mama! Sun, bird, snow, puppy, cow!" She was listing off all the things she could see from the kitchen window.

Of course, I  had to laugh. She was just too cute, happily chirping away and naming all the things she could see from the window. She makes me laugh.

Why didn't anyone ever tell me how frustrating, challenging, yet funny and endearing it would be to be a parent?

Today is the Celebration of Life/Memorial of a friend who passed away on Wednesday. I had full intention of being present today, as she was somewhat of a mentor to me. She made me feel welcomed when I was adjusting to my new life on the Island. She was always so cheerful and always listened. She had countless jokes and funny stories to tell. She was one of my favourite people on the Island.

She made me laugh when we were on stage, because we'd often bump butts or collide into each other! This was in the beginning of our rehearsals, of course! We had things down to a tee for the performances!

She just always made me feel great. I will truly miss her. Which brings me to my dilemma.

With the past week being so stressful and scary with Little One being so sick, I ended up coming down with something. For the past two days, I've been feeling like [insert "four letter word that begins with an S and ends with a T" here]. Though I'm feeling a bit better and would really like to be present to celebrate the life of someone very special to me, I think it would be very selfish to go and share this awful bug with everyone there.

I got a phone call from a friend, asking me why I'm not going. When I said I didn't want to give everyone whatever it is I've caught, my friend sounded surprised and disappointed, and said, "Oh. You're not going?"
I explained again that I didn't want to get everyone else sick. She said, "Just don't shake anyone's hand and don't talk to anyone". I was thinking more on the lines of "Or don't breathe!!!"

As much as I want to be there, I would feel terrible if anyone else catches what I have. I know how awful I felt the past few nights. I would not want my friends to feel that sick. Basically, I was told that I worry too much and that I'm too cautious.

This brings me to the following question. Is it just me? Am I being a bit overly cautious? I don't bring my toddler to play group or other social gatherings when she is sick. I don't go to gatherings or other engagements when I'm sick. For some reason, others seem to think that it's okay to spread colds, viruses, etc. I'm one of those people who believes that if you're sick, don't share your germs with others. In other words, if you're sick, stay home!

What's the general consensus on this matter? To spread (germs/colds/viruses/etc) or not to spread? Stay home when sick or partake in social gatherings and activities regardless if you can make others sick? What do you think?