Tuesday, July 26, 2011

It's My Potty And I'll Cry If I Want To

Actually, it's not my toddler who is having issues with this whole potty training thing. It's me!

Part of it is due to me feeling guilty. Guilty that I have to work all day and not spend the time I need to be with her to teach her how to use the potty. She's pretty much potty training herself.

No. Seriously. She is.

Little One wears panties at home or goes around au naturel and tells us, "I have to go toilet!" She's been pretty good at #2, which surprises me. I've read that some children have a harder time with #2.  It's #1 she forgets about and has little accidents sometimes. Occasionally, I'll step into a warm puddle and moments later will hear, "I peed!"

Another thing is that though I should embrace each and every milestone and enjoy each stage of childhood, Little One being almost potty trained makes me a little sad. It signals the end of her babyhood. Of course it means the end of diapers (wooo hooo!), but the end of babyhood too.

Yes, I realize she's no longer a baby and I don't treat her that way. It doesn't make it easier though. I feel like having to work and being with students all day means I spend more time with other people's children than my own child.

One last potty issue is that I feel pressured by other moms who say things like, "Oh. She's not potty trained yet?" or "My child was out of her diapers before she turned two!"

Little One's pediatrician and Neonatologist mentioned that by 3, children are "ready" to start potty training and they "understand" what it's all about. She said that many parents rush their children and think that "Oh! The magical number has to be 2. By 2, they need to be out of their diapers!"

The more reading and research I've been doing, the more I realize that Little One is on the right track. She's showing interest in going on the toilet, she knows what to do, she tells us (most of the time) when she needs to go, and she's pleased as punch whenever she has a successful trip to the potty.

I guess what I really need to get into my head is that all children are different. They don't have to go by the same time tables...and, don't compare! This would be a lot easier if people didn't compare. Why do people do that? I know that we don't say, "Well, your child must be delayed because Little One was doing that a year earlier than your child" or "Wow. I can't believe he is so far behind! Our child was walking, feeding herself, saying the alphabet, talking, and writing her thesis and defending it before she was 2!"

Fortunately for Little One, I don't project these feelings onto her. I don't want her to grow up with a complex or anything. Instead, I keep the annoying things people say to myself (Ha! Or now on the blog!) and hope I don't die of stress or an anxiety attack.

Who says things like that? Why would it even matter? What pleasure do people get in comparing babies, toddlers, children?

Do any of you have inspirational potty stories to share? Tips, perhaps?

*Photo of Little One just after she got into one of our students' toiletry bags. She's covered head to toe in toothpaste. Nice.


BusyMamma said...

My little M is just starting to potty train now. She just turned 3 a month ago. She showed a bit of interest a few months ago but we quickly realized she really wasn't ready. Just this past weekend did she really decide she wants to wear panties and not pull-ups. She proudly dances after she pees on the potty but still has plenty of accidents too. We hold firm in the belief that kids potty train when they are ready. Being potty trained will come in time and pressuring kids to use the toilet does not work- positive reinforcement does! Another thing we are doing is giving M a candy each time she goes on the potty for #1 and two candies if she goes #2. She gets to choose the candy she wants from a big tub of them. It doesn't matter if it's first thing in the morning or right before bed, she gets her candy for using it! It is working as well as Pavlovian conditioning did with those dogs!! We are also happy that daycare is finally on board with helping us train her.
just give it time and LO will "get it".

Gingermommy said...

My youngest is 2 1/2 and more less training herself. Just because I have not pushed the issue. Being the baby I wanted to go slow. However she wants to do what her older siblings do. She wears panties or nothing around the house. Accidents the odd night and in the car so we have pull ups which I really dislike. People say girls are easier to train than boys. Having both I think girls catch on quicker, but boys can pee in the bush if they need too lol girls need to wait. So more accidents with girls.

I understand the mixed feeling about milestones as well. it is hard to see your baby grow.My oldest is 17 and I have been having an emotional year

Everything happens in time and every child is different. I wouldn't worry about what other moms say either

Cherry said...

Ack! I just realized that I sent LO a book about remembering to potty many months ago. Please don't think I was pressuring you or anything. You had written something around that time about her interest in the potty or something and I thought this book was funny and possibly relevant to you guys soon.
Please don't think I was purposefully putting any pressure on when you should potty train. Oh gosh. Sorry!

C said...

Ack! We never received it!

:( No worries. No pressure felt :) I know she's on her own schedule. It'll come and soon we'll have no more diapers to deal with! LOL!

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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