Sunday, February 20, 2011

Mommy Needs a Time Out!


 I  have come to the conclusion that I am just a very high-strung, high-stress kind of person. I've noticed that recently, I've been getting very overwhelmed with everything and something has got to change. Meditation hasn't seemed to be working. Exercise has been very helpful and I love it. It's just that when I get back from dance/pilates and Zumba classes, I get home and the feeling of being overwhelmed is back...almost immediately.

I figured I may need better organizational skills. For example: Make batches upon batches of meals on Sunday so that we have all our lunches and suppers ready for the entire week. Ummm...No. Can't seem to get all of that done on Sundays since weekends are always so busy and I can't really seem to get a lot accomplished when the toddler wants to undo everything I do.

 The cattle  have been very bad and continue to "jump fence" even when the "juice" is on. Apparently, they don't mind the electric fence so much. Of course, they have to plot their escape when Hubby is off the farm and I am on my way to work! Ack!

 We had a cold spell and our water pipes were frozen. That meant no water for us. No water means no working toilet, no shower, no water for cooking. I know a few generations ago, this was the norm and people made due by collecting water so they'd have it on hand. For me, it's just one more stress right now. Thank goodness Hubby got the pipes unfrozen last night! I almost told him that he'd have to take us out for supper so that we could use the toilet at the restaurant!


 Little One continues to be her adorable, busy self. She has taken to playing dress-up lately and has been wanting to wear costumes every day! We're on Day 2 right now of her wearing her lion costume all day. She refuses to take it off. Yes, she ended up going to our friend's house for a play date and dinner in her lion costume. She's in the barn with Hubby at the moment...in her lion costume and snowsuit. *sigh*
 She's been showing signs of wanting to potty train. She keeps taking off her diaper and telling us when it's time to go. She climbs onto her potty and tries to go. She isn't always successful. Oftentimes, she'll get there a moment too late. She is starting to grasp the concept though. I still think she's not ready for it yet, but she thinks she is.

 She's also been doing this extremely whiny routine lately. It's just been this past week that she has started doing her "fake cry". It's really quite stressful and annoying. I ask her what she wants or try to direct her attention to something else. Sometimes distraction works. Sometimes nothing works.

Hubby is thinking we should consider Baby #2 soon. I would love another baby, but I can't seem to get my act together with just the ONE! Juggling toddler, husband, family, household chores, helping with farm, meetings, committees, ESL student, teaching, and everything else...I'm so overwhelmed. Plus, now my once mild-mannered, extremely well-behaved toddler is now exceedingly whiny and clingy. I know she wants my full attention. She tells me! She grabs me by the hand and says, "Come now, Mama!" When I take her little hand and spend time with her and cuddle, read a book, or play a game with her, she is happy for the moment. Then she gets whiny again.

Though I never experienced postpartum depression, I am wondering why I'm feeling so overwhelmed now...when it's 2 years after I've had my daughter.

I must be the worst mother in the world, because the whining absolutely drives me bonkers! Then I think of how fortunate we are to have her with us, despite the whiny bouts. After all, we went through so much to bring her into this world. I feel guilty for even being overwhelmed. Ack!

Working moms out there: How do you manage to go to work, take care of your children, do everything at home and out of the home, and keep your sanity intact? Any helpful tips? What works for you?

15 comments:

Dragonfly said...

Don't sweat the small stuff! Being on maternity leave is funny sometimes... Although I'm home all day with the kids off at school most of the day, I still can;t manage to keep up! Keep in mind that everyone around you can help if you ask, and this time you spend with little one is your first job! If you really need a pick me up, get a hair cut, or a simple trip tp the pharmacy for a make up make over feels great too! The first thing I do when I start to feel overwhelmed is book a day at the spa with my BF! There's nothing like spending some time with a great frind/hubbie relaxing and just talking about it!!!!
Keep your chin up!
BTW baby #2 is a great way to keep little one busy?!!?

C said...

Dragonfly:
Merci! Je t'aime! :) Those are all very good ideas to keep in mind and to practice!

When I was at home with LO all day, it was difficult to get everything done. Now that I am working again, it seems even more difficult.

Wish you were closer :( Hey, I'll be in your neck of the woods in April for a baby shower. Shall we set up a date to meet up?

Frau Guten Tag said...

I am the same way--a bit high strung--I constantly have to remind myself to calm down & take deep breaths & not stress out--I've ALWAYS been like that, though it used to be more at work than anywhere else in life & now I don't work outside home so it's at home, in relation to my toddler. It's funny cuz honestly I think I've done a fairly decent job of keeping up with things with a baby, up until just very recently. I suddenly feel like I'm losing my grip somehow & no matter how hard I try I can't seem to grasp it. I would guess that it's a combination of factors, not just one reason behind it. But I can't even imagine for you, you are soooo busy with work & the farm, etc on top of having a toddler. Definitely cut yourself some slack & BREATHE :)

Christine said...

Oh Christine....My only advice is to cut back where you can and say "No!" more often...easier said then done I know!!!

((((HUGS)))

Jackie said...

no advice... u already know what is important in your life... so just act on it... oh one bit of advice.... use your slow cooker more.

Frau Guten Tag said...

I second the slow cooker suggestion. I had meant to suggest it but forgot. I got one at the beginning of the year & it has really been a life saver with a toddler in the house!

C said...

Frau:
Yes, I'm with you on that. I also have to remind myself to calm down and take deep breaths. It wasn't ever like this before :( Like you said, no matter how hard I try to not lose my grip, I also feel like I can't grasp onto it. I told my husband that I sometimes feel like I'm drowning in the heaps and piles of everything that needs to get done. *sigh*

He was great today and made supper. He also took our toddler out to the barn with him while he fed the cattle. She had a blast and kept talking about the cows, the kittens, and the puppy.

C said...

Christine:
Thank you for the reminder :) I really do have to keep that in mind...and practice it!

C said...

Jackie:
Today would have been a good day for a coffee date! LOL! :) Thank you for the reminder that the slow cooker is every busy mom's best friend! The funny thing is that I keep giving the slow cooker advice to friends, and I keep forgetting to take my own advice! LOL! We have a slow cooker and I go through spurts of using it every day for weeks, to not using it for months. Time to start using it again!!! :)

Dina said...

You are certainly NOT the worst mother ever! It is completely normal and natural to feel overwhelmed-although you have your folks around it isn't enough sometimes. Is it possible to get cleaning help once in a while or an afternoon nanny to watch LO while you do some of your chores?
I also feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. I don't think the addition of a baby made a difference in my case. Having #2 was just a distraction from the stresses of dealing with #1.
Anyway you will eventually figure out how to time manage. I'm just now sort of getting a grip on things around the house and cooking meals daily etc. There is a great website called Flylady. She really helped me figure out a routine for cleaning (so much so that I actually think we're going to get rid of the cleaning lady!!!)
I tried that Sunday cooking for the week thing and when i have time on a sunday it is awesome but like you I often don't have time for that so i prep my meals in the evening for the next day- after the kids go to sleep. This helps a lot (ie, cut up the vegis for stir fry, or pre-season the fish on the bake pan so i just have to pop in the oven when i get home.) I also use my slowcooker a lot. I make chili, stew, meatballs etc and it is ready when we get home! Helps a lot!

caninecologne said...

hi c - i'll email you separately about this.

i think it's cute that your daughter loves to cosplay ("costume play" or dress up).

i'm also a perfectionist but you kind of have to throw that out the door a little when you have a kid (or kids). tc is nearly 10 1/2. i had a really hard time when she was born.luckily i had support from my husband, my inlaws and parents. otherwise, i would have gone nuts. i'll be honest with you, i'd never want to go thru that again! ever! i wish i could have fast forwarded to 6 months and skipped all the early months. sorry if that makes me sound like a terrible mom, but it was really difficult for me.

enjoy the moments with your daughter when she is still young and WANTS to be with you. :)

by the way, the slow cooker is my friend right now! what a time saver! i'm one of those who cooks a $%#@load on sundays so i won't have to cook later on.

Justagirl said...

OMG! It's hard being a working mom and doing everything. It's VERY overwhelming and exhausting. I'm still trying to lose the baby weight from my 2 year old and even working super hard, I feel like I'll never lose it because I can't commit myself 100% because of my Mommy obligations.

It's hard!

Palm Springs Savant said...

Wow you do have your hands full. Your daughter is a total cutie, by the way. Love the photos of her.

The picture of the cattle was such a pleasant surprise,, I always worry about them in the cold, even though I know they are alright.

merinz said...

Oh Chrissy you are such a busy Mum! And Little One is a credit to you.

Re your busy schedule - you need to learn to say ''No!

And another baby - plenty of time!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Oh poor Chrissy! Ugh. I think if I were you, I'd try to find a day when you're not overwhelmed (because it won't work if you are), and sit down and make a list of all of these things. Figure out if there are any things on the list that can me gotten rid of. Prioritize those that are left. And learn to not sweat the small stuff.

Exercise and meditation are not for getting rid of. Healthy/Happy Mommy is a good Mommy. Of course, you have to work the farm, and your jobs are important. Time with your husband and L.O. are important as all get out. Is there anything left? Some committee you could take a break from? Being involved with the plays? Or is that your release and sanity? See what I mean? Take a good hard look and see if there's anything that can go, at least for now. It won't always be this way. I promise.

I know you love the review blog, but does it bring in enough money to make it worth the time you spend on it?

As for letting go...Cherry was telling me the other day that my house always seems very clean to her. Which made me remember when Maya was 6 or 7, and whenever I cleaned more than the required stuff, she would ask me, "Who's coming over?" Of course, that used to stress me out a bit, and I felt like we lived in a dump. Not fun. But also, not the worst thing in the world. And my house is clean now, and my daughter is only 14.

I also remember taking a yoga class so that I could learn to breathe, because I felt like my heart was always beating too fast and I could never get anything done. It helped. Not that you need that...you have Zumba & Meditation. But it took quite awhile before it started to help me calm down. Hang in there.

Oh, and the slow cooker is probably a better idea than Sunday cooking. I prefer the idea of you having a bit of down time on Sunday. :-)

My last thought is a bit more personal...as long as I've 'known' you, you've been a hyper busy person. I know several people like you in my life, and I admire all that you accomplish. But if it's not making you happy, if in fact it's making you miserable and keeping you from enjoying the things that give you pleasure (which you need to balance out the whiny stage that L.O. is going through), then it's time for some serious thinking.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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