Saturday, January 08, 2011

Maybe It's Just Me

Today is the Celebration of Life/Memorial of a friend who passed away on Wednesday. I had full intention of being present today, as she was somewhat of a mentor to me. She made me feel welcomed when I was adjusting to my new life on the Island. She was always so cheerful and always listened. She had countless jokes and funny stories to tell. She was one of my favourite people on the Island.

She made me laugh when we were on stage, because we'd often bump butts or collide into each other! This was in the beginning of our rehearsals, of course! We had things down to a tee for the performances!

She just always made me feel great. I will truly miss her. Which brings me to my dilemma.

With the past week being so stressful and scary with Little One being so sick, I ended up coming down with something. For the past two days, I've been feeling like [insert "four letter word that begins with an S and ends with a T" here]. Though I'm feeling a bit better and would really like to be present to celebrate the life of someone very special to me, I think it would be very selfish to go and share this awful bug with everyone there.

I got a phone call from a friend, asking me why I'm not going. When I said I didn't want to give everyone whatever it is I've caught, my friend sounded surprised and disappointed, and said, "Oh. You're not going?"
I explained again that I didn't want to get everyone else sick. She said, "Just don't shake anyone's hand and don't talk to anyone". I was thinking more on the lines of "Or don't breathe!!!"

As much as I want to be there, I would feel terrible if anyone else catches what I have. I know how awful I felt the past few nights. I would not want my friends to feel that sick. Basically, I was told that I worry too much and that I'm too cautious.

This brings me to the following question. Is it just me? Am I being a bit overly cautious? I don't bring my toddler to play group or other social gatherings when she is sick. I don't go to gatherings or other engagements when I'm sick. For some reason, others seem to think that it's okay to spread colds, viruses, etc. I'm one of those people who believes that if you're sick, don't share your germs with others. In other words, if you're sick, stay home!

What's the general consensus on this matter? To spread (germs/colds/viruses/etc) or not to spread? Stay home when sick or partake in social gatherings and activities regardless if you can make others sick? What do you think?


Robyn said...

Sometimes you have to be part of the germ-spreading world, but I don't think this occasion is one of those times. When I have a cold I still go to work unless I am feeling like that word you almost, kinda, sorta mentioned. Colds can last for a while so it's not reasonable to stay away from everyone during the entire illness.

I would say you have to do what YOU are comfortable with. I would probably feel guilty for not going to the memorial service, but it would really depend on how I was feeling. If you can hardly breathe, your head is stuffed up, you have a mega-headache and can hardly move, I would say it is not reasonable to go. If you have the sniffles and a little bit of a sore throat, you may choose to go.

I was invited out for a play date this morning and declined the invitation because of a bad sore throat. I may have normally gone, but the Mommy and little boy we were invited to go see both have poor immune systems and it would not have been right to bring whatever I am coming down with into their home.

It really is a judgement call on your part. Do what You feel is right. You can have your own memorial for your friend right where you are. You have already shared some wonderful things about her, maybe write a tribute to her and share it with other friends and family at a later date.

I hope you are feeling better soon and I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

C said...

Thanks for this comment! :) I agree. It's pretty unreasonable to stay home for the entire duration of a cold. It's just the contagious period I'd be worried about. You're right about it being unreasonable to stay away from everyone for the entire illness.

I do feel guilty for not being at the service right now. I keep looking at my clock and thinking, "I could be there right now". Then the congestion, massive headache, and all the other fun stuff remind me of why I'm not there.

I sent a note with a friend of mine so she could read it at the service.

I'm so sad that the world lost a TRULY wonderful person this past week. At the same time, I feel comfort in knowing she is at peace now.

Jackie said...

bob was supposed to go today too.... but he didn't make it... i was hosting my little baby's 7th bday party and he stayed to help... choices are difficult.

C said...

I'm still saddened that I was not able to make it. I didn't know you guys were friends with Karen too! Silly me. Bob is "THE" mechanic in town! EVERYONE knows you guys! :)

Hoping to see you in the New Year! LOL! It *will* happen. Maybe when your husband is under my van, fixing front of the grocery store! xx

C said...

Happy Birthday to your 7 year old!!! 7 already!? How did that happen???

Katherine Josh said...

Pei pa koa is pretty decent cough medicine (from herbal as I remembered), great non alcoholic medicine, some western cough medicine are more effective, but this is non drowsy.

You can access info online @

Frau Guten Tag said...

I'm with you, if I'm sick (or if Joseph is sick) we are gonna keep to ourselves & stop the spread of the sickness, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S AN AIR BORN TRANSMITTED SICKNESS, like the flu or chickenpox, etc.

And I have to say it really irritates me when others don't follow those rules. To me it's just common courtesy. If Joseph is sick he doesn't go to the nursery at church so the other kids don't get his sickness, yet I see other parents taking their VERY sick kids to the nursery. It really upsets me that they have such little consideration for others.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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