Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fear


 

Something I have been suppressing is that I have a terrible fear of getting pregnant again after my 28 weeker's long stay in the NICU.  I haven't really spoken about it to anyone other than my best friend and my husband. Now that Little One is a toddler, everyone has been harrassing asking me when #2 will be here.  I get the "Little One needs a sibling" or "You're getting too old, you better have another one now while you still can". 

I realize she is now two years old and a sibling would be good for her (and a welcome addition to the family). I realize that I am 35 years old already, but I can't help my feelings.  I'm worried, terrified, and full of anxiety. Part of me desperately wants to have another baby, but the other part wonders if we should.  Our experience with Little One being premature and in the hospital for so long makes me wonder if we should even take that chance. We may not be as lucky as we were with Little One coming out of it all so well.

 
I wrote about my feelings and concerns over at Mom Nation (my first post on the Mom Nation site!).

6 comments:

Jackie said...

Faith and Prayers and listen to your heart. Regardless, it will always be a worry. just figure out what is most important and go in with all the tools you need to tackle whatever life will bring you.

~Crazy 4 Daizies~ said...

(((HUGS))) I can totally relate to this feeling. I remember how scared I was to "try again" after Noah-Alexander was stillborn. I had to take a leap of faith and just go for it.

Who knew that tragedy would strike twice? That said, if I had the chance to do it again, (and could turn back the hands of time to a younger age)I' do it in a heartbeat. Our children are worth the risks.

Even though I lost two, they are still a part of our family and nothing will ever change that.

Sending love and hugs your way----follow your heart. xxoo

louann said...

I pray that all your fears and worries be taken away. I can in some way relate to the feelings you are going through.

C said...

Jackie:
Thank you so much for your encouragement. Looking forward to sitting down for a coffee and chat. xx

C said...

C4D:
Thank you. I think of you and your boys often. You have so much strength and love. xx

C said...

Louann:
Hey, girl! I've missed you! Feels like forever since we've last caught up! There might be a chance that I will be in your 'hood sometime this year. :) I'll let you know. xx

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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