Growing up back in the 70s, 80s and the 90s, the year 2000 seemed so far away. As a kid, I had visions of people driving spacecrafts and being able to teleport themselves. Not that life would be like Star Wars or Star Trek, or even The Jetsons, but you get the idea.

I cannot believe that tomorrow we will be entering the year 2010. It just sounds so weird!

Now, in celebration of the year 2010, here are 2010 things about me...

Just kidding! ;) I wouldn't do that to you!

Wishing you all a very happy and healthy New Year! Enjoy each moment you have with your family and friends. That's what life's all about.

Soooooooo...What are you going to celebrate the New Year?

This is where we were last Christmas. Little One was in the NICU for the first two months of her life.

Her first Christmas was in the hospital, six hours away from home. It wasn't an awful Christmas though. Little One was healthy and thriving, and doing just great under the wonderful care of all the doctors and nurses at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Mommy had the support of all the staff, parents of other babies in the NICU, family and friends in Toronto (very special thanks to my Dad's sister and her family for being so good to us and letting me stay with them for those two months while Little One was in the NICU). The Linden Fund also helped make Christmas at Mount Sinai a happy one. There was some semblance of "normal" in a time that was most definitely not a normal one for us.

The Linden Fund put on a Christmas dinner for us and there were presents and Christmas stockings for all the babies.

This year was a very different year for us. Little One had her first Christmas AT HOME! She helped Mommy bake cookies for friends and family...

hung out with friends and family over the Holidays and enjoyed some Funeral Cake.
Okay, Little One didn't have any cake because Mommy is mean and will not let her have refined sugars, chocolate, or anything of that nature.

The funeral cake was delicious, by the way!
In case you missed the whole funeral cake post, a friend of mine made my birthday cake for my surprise birthday party. Her husband told her it looked like a funeral cake, so she made me a pink tractor cake instead. When we had them over for supper a few days later, she brought the funeral cake. We enjoyed it thoroughly. It was to die for. Mmmmkay, perhaps that wasn't the most appropriate thing to say.
Little One enjoyed opening Christmas presents. She enjoyed playing witht he wrapping paper more than playing with her new toys. Next year, I think I'll just get her a roll of paper.
On Christmas morning, Little One was a very busy girl (as always).
Trying to figure out just how much mess she can make before getting caught.

One of the best presents I received was the white hot chocolate from Second Cup and the white chocolate and cranberry cookies my friend baked. This said, the Dodge Caravan my husband got me scored pretty high!
I have to say that the very best present I received this Christmas was a happy, healthy, thriving baby girl who is HOME with us! Precious time spent with family and friends is also one of the greatest presents I could ask for.

'Twas the blog before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a thought was worth writing, not even an ounce;
The chores were all done, not that anyone else but I would care,
And, the baby? St. Nick? Who was he? Why would she care if he were there?
Little One, fast asleep and sprawled out on her bed,
Was probably dreaming of playtime instead.
Hubby in bed and I with last minute presents to wrap,
could barely keep eyes open and in need of a nap!

Okay, I was trying to be ambitious and would have loved to finish this poem. Honestly, I have nothing of interest to share. I wish I did. I wish I could have written some rather poignant post of the true meaning of Christmas. I wish I had some really outstanding story to share. I don't.

I do have to say that I wish all my friends and family a very Merry Christmas. I do feel blessed since this year, we are celebrating Christmas as a family. This time last year, Little One and I were at Moutn Sinai Hospital, where she spent her first two months of life in the NICU. This year, we are at home on the Island with our loved ones. This is something worth celebrating and being thankful for.

We are also blessed with Lola and Grampy being healthy and Baby Bro being on the Island for the Holidays.

It's sometimes hard to see all our blessings every day, but I have to learn to appreciate things more. We have our family. We have our health. We have our friends. We have our home. We have our livelihoods. We have food on the table. We have our precious Little One. We have our lives. Sometimes we lose sight of these things.

For my birthday yesterday, my husband took me out to Little India because I was craving Indian food!I knew that Little One LOVES music, but I didn't realize that she absolutely loves the sound of the sitar! She was dancing to the music. It was so cute!I also learned something rather funny. One of my girlfriends said she wanted to make me a birthday cake. She had worked tirelessly to create a beautiful cake for me, and her husband told her "It looks like a funeral cake". A funeral cake?!?

Me: Do funeral cakes actually exist? Is there even such a thing?!
Friend: I don't know! My husband said it looks like a funeral cake though! (exasperated)
Me: Hang on. I'm just going to Google "funeral cakes".
***
Me: OH. MY. GOODNESS. (laughing)
Friend: What?
Me: You won't believe this! There are tons of links for funeral cakes!!
(both laughing)
Friend: Well, what would a funeral cake look like? What do you write on a funeral cake?!?
Me: Well, they look just like birthday cakes.
Friend: So, does it say "Happy Death Day to You" or "RIP"?
Me: No. More like Bible passages.

Wow. Thanks to my friend's husband, we learned that funeral cakes do exist!I love my pink tractor birthday cake! My friend baked two cakes (this is the second one) because she didn't want to bring the first cake (the "funeral cake"). I think she did a great job!

Yet another thing I learned as I turn one year older is that my husband is full of surprises. My husband organized a surprise birthday gathering for me on Saturday. I was totally surprised, because he has never done anything like that for me. Ever. He's not much of a party organizer. Why should he be though? He's never had to do it before. Plus, I always organize the family dinners and parties with friends. I was touched that he put the effort into planning something for me. He loves me. He really, really loves me.
Then he told me that the guests would be arriving in a few hours. WHAT??? I could feel the stress and anxiety sweep over me. Then I got upset. Okay, angry is more like it. It just felt so unjust that I had to clean the entire house and get things ready for guests who were coming to my surprise party. Sooooo terribly unfair.

I felt awful after because it occurred to me that my husband did in fact have the best of intentions. I didn't want to be such a malcontent or ingrate. I do appreciate him. We just don't seem to think the same way. The execution and planning just wasn't how I would have done things. I would have planned the event WAY in advance. I would have cleaned the house, made sure to have party food, and well...just be organized! A+ for thoughtfulness and good intentions though. Some of the people got their invitation/phone call the afternoon of the surprise get together!

A friend reminded me last week that Men Are Like Waffles and Women Are Like Spaghetti. For a man, every element of his life is in a separate box. For a woman, everything in her life touches everything else. The talk I had with my friend really helped me understand my husband and his logic more.

I told her about an incident that took place last week. I had a meeting to attend at 7PM and asked Hubby to be back in time so he could watch Little One while I was at the meeting. I needed to leave at 6:40 to get to my destination on time. 6:43 and Hubby still hadn't arrived. I bundled Little One up in her snowsuit, put her in her car seat and left Hubby a message on his cell phone saying that I was going to be late and would have to just take the baby to my meeting with me. 6:45 and Hubby's truck barreled down the lane way.

Me: I've got to run. PLEASE feed the baby and change her diaper. Oh, and there are just a few dishes in the sink. Could you PLEASE do them for me?

Hubby: Okay. Have fun at your meeting.

Me: Fun? It's a meeting. We talk about budgets and fund raising. Anyway, don't forget to feed and change the baby...and don't forget the dishes.
***

I returned from the meeting and the baby hadn't been changed or fed, and the dishes were still in the sink.

Me: She hasn't been fed or changed? The dishes are still in the sink? WHAT on earth did you do all that time I was gone?!?!?

Hubby: Honey, she's just sooooo busy! It's a full time job just watching her!

Me: FINE! I guess I'll do it. I always have to do everything. I never get any downtime. I never get any rest. For once, I'd just wish to not have to do dishes. I'm ALWAYS doing dishes!!!

***
Fast forward to the next day when my friend and I took our girls to the play group's Christmas Party.

I told her about what had happened and she explained to me that men think about things in compartments. The dishes weren't a priority for Hubby. His main concern was that Little One was safe and being taken care of. Everything else was secondary.

Me: What on earth?! How come when I'm at home I can cook, clean, do dishes and laundry, run errands, do things for Hubby, get paperwork done, do online work (articles and other jobs), AND take care of the baby?!?!

Friend: That's because women are like spaghetti. Every part of our lives connect and overlap. We can multitask. Women are better at multitasking than men. Men think in boxes. Like waffles.

It's so true. Men and women are totally hardwired differently. We don't think in the same ways. I have a zillion examples of this, but that's an entirely different post all together! :)

I love my husband. He's such a great father to Little One. He adores her...and me. Men and women just don't think the same and we don't have the same priorities. "Please put out the garbage" to me means "NOW". To him it means "at some point in the future". "Could you please pass me the wipes? I'm changing the baby and my hands are full" means "I need the wipes NOW"! To him, it means "sometime later" or "You mean you need it now??". *sigh*

This whole marriage and parenthood thing is truly a learning process. Every day we learn new things. I've learned that my husband is the best and I love him so much! We have our moments where we just don't get each other, but we learn and try to understand each other. I've learned that I can be very impatient at times and I need to work on that. I need to work on being more understanding of the reasons behind the logic of our decisions, actions and thinking.

I remember a time when thirty seemed OLD to me. When I was in high school, thirty seemed so far away. I never imagined what it would feel like to be thirty. Today I am thirty-four.

In many ways, being in my thirties doesn't feel old. I feel more secure, more confident, more aware, more experienced, more understanding, more patient, and a little wiser. I use the word "wiser" very loosely, because I know that I have a long way to go still in that area!

I still have a lot to learn and I am not afraid to admit that there's still a lot I need to work on. I'll be the first to admit that older doesn't always mean wiser or more mature.

In celebration of my thirty-four years on this planet, here are thirty-four things about me:

1. I love with my life
2. ...even if my life sometimes frustrates me and feels overwhelming at times.
3. I have a wonderful husband who loves me very much.
4. I have a beautiful, healthy, happy baby girl.
5. My baby is growing up way too quickly! I can't believe she's 13 months old!
6. I love being able to take time off work to be with her and raise her.
7. Part of me is looking forward to teaching again in a few months.
8. Part of me wishes I could just stay home and take care of Little One.
9. I haven't had a nap since I gave birth to Little One (except for the day I was so sick that I thought I was on death's door)!
10. Despite the zero downtime and exhaustion, I wouldn't trade in motherhood for anything.
11. There are so many things I now realize I have been naive about (that's an entirely different post all together).
12. I didn't think I'd get so emotional at the thought of Little One self-weaning. She's down to two nursing sessions a day, but it seems like she's going to wean herself soon. She keeps BITING me!
13. I'm one of those moms who carries liquid hand sanitizer in her purse, diaper bag, vehicle, etc.
14. I'm afraid of the dark.
15. I'm afraid of spiders and snakes.
16. I live in the country.
17. It's dark in the countryside and there are lots of spiders and snakes in the countryside too.
18. My favourite colour is Cerulean.19. If you ask my husband what my favourite colour is, he'll say "blue".
20. Cerulean is a shade of blue.
21. I really should spend more time with my dog, Chance.
22. I feel guilty for spending all my time with the baby and less time with Chance.
23. I love cooking and baking.
24. I don't really like eating baked goods or sweets.
25. I'd rather bake decadent treats for other people because I enjoy the pleasure they get from the treats I make.
26. ...I secretly like that others eat my baked goods so they gain weight and I don't.
27. #26 was a horrible, horrible thing to write. I should take that back.
28. I've got a very bad memory.
29. I'm very social, friendly and outgoing.
30. I love hosting dinner parties at our house.
31. I also love just spending time at home and having a quiet night.
32. My biggest problem is that I always try to please everybody. I like it when everyone is happy.
33. I have a hard time saying "No" to people.
34. I really don't need or want anything for my birthday. All I want is for my loved ones to be happy and healthy.

Ohhhh, okay. Though I have everything I need, I would like a dishwasher so I don't have to scrub dishes every day. A front-loading washer and dryer would be great too! Our washing machine and dryer are on their last legs and front-loaders are more energy efficient! Hmmmm....a van would be great too! Having a two-door SUV is not very practical when you have to load a baby, her car seat and all her gear in and out all the time. Not fun at all.

Yeah, that's about it. ;)

Hubby, are you reading this? LOL!

Tonight, I looked at the mountain the presents I wrapped for our family and friends and I felt happy and sad at the same time. I felt happy that I could bring joy and happiness to my loved ones with the special little (and not so little) things I picked out for each of our loved ones. Then, a wave of sadness washed over me.

Though Little One is still too young to understand the meaning of Christmas, I want to teach her that it's not about receiving material things. I want to create a special Christmas tradition for her when she's able to understand what it's all about. I was thinking when she's older, I can bring her to the store and get her to pick out a toy or book that she likes so we can donate it to the toy bank for kids who don't have as much as Little One does. I was thinking of getting her to help me make food baskets with non-perishable goods that we can donate to the less fortunate here in Canada. I was thinking of putting together baskets of mittens, hats and warm blankets.

I was also thinking of sponsoring a child through World Vision. I mentioned this to a few friends. A friend of mine mentioned donating to a charity she is directly involved with. Donations go to giving shelter, food and clothing to Burmese refugee children.

I'm thinking of getting the Christmas Munch Basket and the Christmas Snuggle Basket and putting it in the name of family members. That way, it's the gift that keeps on giving. Family members will be happy to know that a donation has been made in their names and that these donations make a difference in the lives of children who need them.

Check out the Room to Grow Foundation. Cheers to my friend, Jenn and everyone involved with the Room to Grow Foundation.

Another friend said that there are lots of children in Canada who are less fortunate and in need of assistance, and suggested I offer help closer to home. I agree that there are children in Canada who would benefit from donations from charities and other organizations...and I do make donations for causes like that.

I also make donations for the Heart and Stroke Foundation and for cancer research. Having a loved one suffer from a heart and stroke, this is a cause that we support. Both Hubby and I have lost family members and friends to cancers of different sorts. We believe in making donations to those causes as well. Another charity that is near and dear to our hearts is Mount Sinai Hospital's NICU. Little One was born three months premature and without Mount Sinai's NICU, doctors, nurses, staff, and medical technology, she probably would not be with us today.

Though we don't have much, we can only offer what we can.

A week ago, I was e-mailing back and forth with a friend of mine and we touched upon a whole slew of things we were going through and what was going on in our lives. One of the last things she said was: "Enjoy this time with [Little One], when she's so adorable and fun and sweet, and no one has hurt her feelings yet, and she still thinks the world is her oyster. I wish it could always be so, for all of our children."

I thought about what my friend said and I couldn't sleep for the next few nights. Okay, I cried about it for over a week!!! It's just so hard to think about how innocent Little One is and how life is so wonderful for her right now...and how she doesn't know any of the hardships, tough decisions, peer pressure, and hurtful situations that she will have to face in the future.

As a mom, I look at my baby girl and see her innocence, trust, sweetness and I just wish I could keep things that way forever. I wish she never has to know that the world outside the one she knows can sometimes be a harsh place to live in. I wish she never gets her feelings hurt. I wish she never feels like she needs to be someone that she's not.

Of course, I know that she will have her feelings hurt and she will be put in situations that aren't so pleasant. I wish we could protect her from all of those things, but I think the best thing we can do is to prepare her for the outside world the best we can...and hope that she becomes a strong enough person to make the right decisions for herself.

Wow! This parenting thing is a lot harder than I thought it would ever be.

For a gal who doesn't really eat sweets often, I sure do a lot of baking during the holidays! Every year, I go on a baking frenzy and bake lots and LOTS of goodies for friends and family. It's a personal touch and a simple note to let people know they're important to me. This said, I really should be making everyone salads or vegetable casseroles to show them how much I care...and not giving them decadent desserts to help them clog their arteries. *sigh* Somehow a salad doesn't quite have the same "I love you" effect as a box of homemade cookies. It doesn't quite have the same WOW factor!

Learning to walk with the toy shopping cart her friend (and swimming buddy) lent her.

Just a few more random photos of Little One getting ready for the Holiday Season...

...Unless they do things like this!!!

I'd like to teach my child that it is never okay to make fun of others or laugh at their expense. Even when they do things like this...Some people make it so difficult to NOT laugh though! I mean, seriously??

Okay, the last photo isn't funny. I don't know what would possess a parent to put their child to nap in a cart and then load it up with big boxes on top. I wonder if it didn't occur to the parents that the boxes may just fall on top of their child? Anyway...

A friend sent me this link for People of Walmart. You will find all kinds of craziness if you to the site. Okay, I have to admit that some of the images are pretty funny. Have you ever seen any weird get ups or people doing odd thingswhen you've been to Walmart? I know I have seen some pretty crazy things before, but I would never take a photo of the people sporting camel toe pants or Halloween costumes in July.

*Just to let you know, I'm not being holier than thou. I actually did laugh at some of the photos and I actually do think some of the people in the photos are a little kooky! As much as I would like to tell Little One that she must never make fun of people or laugh at them, it sure is hard when people do some pretty crazy things sometimes!!! ;) *