Sunday, September 16, 2012

CLUTCH! SHIFT! HEADER! BRAKE!!!!


I am a multitasking Mama.  I can talk on the phone, tweet on my BlackBerry, close a deal with a client, cook supper, and tend to my almost 4 year old...all at the same time.  Multitasking is my middle name.

...Except when it comes to operating farm equipment.

The sad truth of the matter is that I cannot drive stick shift.  I have a mental block when it comes to driving standard.  My best friend tried to teach me when we were in high school and I stalled in the middle of a bridge and was stuck in traffic.  My anxiety over inconveniencing others has ultimately led to me not being able to drive standard. I know. Pretty crazy.

I just cannot get my brain wrapped around when to shift gears. What the heck is the difference between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd?  Clutch? What is that?  Why do we have to do all of those things simultaneously anyway?  Why can't farm equipment companies just make all tractors automatic? Seriously!

My husband, the beef farmer, seems to forget that I was born and raised in the city and that I wasn't born knowing how to operate a tractor.  Though I do help him out on the farm, I suffer from terrible anxiety.  Those HUGE machines are expensive.  I'm worried I may wreck something.  That's my biggest worry.

Imagine this, if you will.  The transmission on our combine harvester died and Hubby got stuck in a field over the hill and in one of our far fields.  He BBM'd me (because modern day farmers have BlackBerries, you know!) and asked me to please pick him up...with the tractor.

What?! I'm supposed to pull that GIANT combine with a little tractor?! I'm supposed to go on the HIGHWAY and pull it over the hill? Oh, my goodness. What have I gotten myself into? I'm not so sure I'm meant to be a farmer's wife!

Me: Can I write cheat sheets on Post It notes and plaster them all over the tractor?
Hubs: Ummm...That's what those symbols are for.
Me: No. I need actual notes. Like "press this at this moment" or "pull this to shift at this time".
Hubs: (rubbing his head) You'll be okay.

I almost cried all the way back to the farm with this monstrous combine being lugged behind me. I was so scared I'd break something!

When we finally arrived back at the farm, Hubs said, "Honey. You did great! Umm...but, you didn't shift gears at all the entire way. You remember you were supposed to shift gears, right?"

Now, how I got the combine into the driving shed is an entirely different blog post. *sigh*

7 comments:

Torviewtoronto said...

wow I never been in the front seat of a farm equipment neat :)

LilSugarMag said...

Ha ha! This post made me laugh. I can't even imagine me riding one of those!! You get a A+ from me for effort ;)

Christine McN said...

Torviewtoronto:
This is a far cry from my former life in Montreal and Toronto!

Christine McN said...

LilSugar:
Oh my goodness! Crazy, huh? :) Thanks for the A+! Ummm...Okay, I confess. I did cry driving that thing home! LOL!

OrangeHeroMama said...

omg. craziness!!!

(and i can't drive standard either!!)

Mommy Moment said...

My mom married a farmer when I was 9 (almost 10). The farm life was fun, but scary all at the same time. I was way to scared to ever learn how to drive the farm equipment. Way to go for driving the tractor!

ashley picco said...

I only tried to learn once, and it was a disaster....

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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