Saturday, February 10, 2007

Paranoid???


Perhaps...but only slightly (I hope)!

Now that Hubby and I have a teenager living with us for several months, we've gone from being childless to having a teenager!! P1 is attending the local high school. I'm his English teacher and Hubby and I are his guardians.

Being from a foreign country, his first week at the local high school was a big week for P1. I know he must have been all nerves, but I think I was probably more anxious and nervous for him. I worried about the reception he'd have at the school, seeing that there are no other visible minorities here on the Island. I worried that he wouldn't adapt. I worried that he wouldn't make friends. I worried that he wouldn't find his classes. I worried that the language barrier would be too difficult for him. I worried that the cultural differences would be too great.

Sure, I understand his pronunciation, but would everyone else understand? I've been teaching him ESL (English as a second language) for a long time now. Anyway, I just worried. His first week at school was a success. He made a lot of friends on the bus and in his classes. He didn't sit alone at lunch and he wasn't a loner. He understands the most part of his classes. He's already been invited to a few parties. Fine. A big sigh of relief on this end.

Now, here's where I'm concerned. I know P1 is a good kid and I know he wouldn't do anything 'bad' intentionally. However, he came home from school and told me that the high school kids all drink and smoke. Okay. That's normal. I was in high school and nothing's changed. Kids will be kids. Then he tells me that some of the kids smoke pot! I shouldn't have been surprised, because I'm from the city and this stuff is commonplace there too. For some reason, I kind of got all panicky because he's not my child and he's under my care. I have to make sure that he's safe at all times and I have to make sure he doesn't get into trouble. *sigh*

Do you think I worry too much for nothing? Or is it normal to worry about teenagers like this? Before you answer my question, let me just tell you:

a) When P1 told me about being invited to a party next weekend, I said, "Okay, but I need to meet the kid before you hang out with him. I need his phone number, address...and I need to drop you off and pick you up."

b) I made Hubby follow P1's school bus on the first day of school. I made him go from the bus stop in front of our house, all the way to the high school. Don't worry, none of the other kids knew about it. I didn't want him to be teased.

c) I had the talk about peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, etc with the poor kid...I don't know how many times. He understands, but I still worry...

*sigh* My mother-in-law was right. It would be much easier to start off a family with infants, so you can grow with them. Having a teenager in the house is a big jump for a newly married couple! I suppose it's good practice though. P1 will be staying with us until July, when the school semester ends.

8 comments:

curiositykiller said...

Dear Chrissy - I think you're just being a responsible adult in which a teenager is thrust upon you instead of growing into your life. It sounds like quite a shock!!! And I think you've pretty much covered the necessary topics and details. I think you're doing a bang-up job as a "foster parent".

ahappilymarriedmommy said...

Did you notice that I'm always the first to respond to your posts! I guess that must mean that i spend too much time on your blog, huh! I odn't think you're paranoid. These are challenging times. He's not your child so you feel even more responsible I guess. You'e doing a great job and you and J will be great parents!

Diesel said...

Sounds like you're doing ok. Maybe worrying a little too much, but other than that, doing ok. :)

If he's telling you that the kids smoke pot, that's a good sign right there. If he had any intention of getting involved with that, he wouldn't have told you. Sounds like a pretty balanced kid.

In any case, you can't "make" him do or be anything. That's up to him. All you can do is be there, and respect his intelligence and need to make his own decisions, giving him the appropriate guidance of course.

Look at me, acting like the expert. My oldest is 7.

Anyway, good luck!

Diesel

Dzen said...

Last word to describe you would be paranoid! I, too, think you're doing a good job as a guardian...Just like you said, "Kids are kids..." I can see now how great you'll turn out when you become a mom!
You can't monitor him 24-7 but you can always make him feel that you're there for him not as a guardian but as a friend who he can turn to, to share his story at the end of the day. Just like Diesel said, it's just one of those challenges... =)

Chrissy121875 said...

Curiosity, AHMM, Diesel, and Dzen: Thank you very much for your comments :)

Diesel, you're right. It's so hard not to worry though! LOL! I was thinking yesterday, "OMG, I'm going to be such a worry wart when I have my own kids!" LOL I hope not!

Dzen, so glad you popped by! :)

japanmanpete said...

You didn't say you have students living with you, did you? WHY????????? Why on God's green earth would you torture yourself like that?!?!?!! Can't you just TEACH them? Do they have to LIVE with you? I would kill myself if my students lived with me. Seriously.

ROAR! said...

The fact that he mentioned it shows that he trusts you, realizes that what he has seen is wrong and appreciates your advice.

If this is the same high school that my daughter went to then yes, drugs are readily available... but no more so than in any other location in today’s society.

Don’t worry, with your support your teens will make it through the world of the black hats with character, values and great memories of Manitoulin that will last through their lifetime.

Chrissy121875 said...

Thanks, Roar! Mrs. Roar was just over a few minutes ago with my Watkins cinnamon! Thanks so much to you and Mrs. Roar! :) See you soon!

Pete, that's my job now :) I have an English Study Holiday program that I run. Students study English and live on beautiful Manitoulin Island with a Canadian family. I enjoy it and for the most part, the kids are good :) I just need to vent sometimes and this blog is the one place I feel I'm able to do so.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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