Saturday, September 06, 2008

Conversations Between a Man and his Pregnant Wife


I've been feeling slight fluttering movements since week 14. They have been really faint, but noticeable. Now that we are heading into week 19, the fluttering has become stronger. They're not actual kicks yet, but can this baby ever move!!!

Last night, Hubby and I were watching American Gangster and all of a sudden, I felt lots of movement coming from baby!

Me: Quick! Put your hand on my belly!

Hubby: Whoa!!! Junior's really moving in there!

Me: What does it feel like?

Hubby: Well, it feels like these waves underneath my hands. Not punches, but sort of like pushing.

Me: Do you really feel it too or are you just saying that you feel it because you know that I want you to say that you feel it?I really didn't think any movement would be felt until we reached week 20 or 22. Now, I cannot wait until we get some real kicking action! So exciting!!!

My belly seems to have grown overnight. It happened a few weeks ago. One morning, I woke up and Hubby was stunned. He put his hand on my belly and remarked at how it seems to have just grown suddenly.Me: Awwww! Look! My tummy is showing now! (excited and smiling)

Hubby: (smiling, he puts his hand on my belly) Hi, Junior! This is your Daddy! Be good to your Mommy. Don't give her a hard time.

Me: Honey, do you think my belly looks gross? It's HUGE!

Hubby: (giving me a hug before he proceeds to rub my belly) No! It's cute! Now I've got my very own little Buddha!

Me: (scowling) I don't think that's something you should say to a pregnant woman!
LOL!

Melanie (my SIL Lele's sister) just had a baby last week. Congrats to the new parents! Welcome to the world, Mia! Mel and I chatted on Facebook about the birth. She said she had a good delivery, which was very reassuring to me. The one thing I dread the most about pregnancy is giving birth. I don't know why, but it absolutely terrifies me. Perhaps it is because I'm not good with pain, I can't stand the sight of blood, I fear the unknown...oh, and did I mention how bad I am with pain???

Yes, I am well aware that women around the world have been giving birth since the beginning of time. It still doesn't take away the fear I have of the actual birthing process.

Me: I wonder if there's any way during the delivery that the doctors can knock me out cold and then wake me up as soon as the baby arrives?

Hubby: (laughing) Oh, you'll be fine.

Me: Yeah. That's because you don't have to go through it!
(Hubby gives me a hug and smiles)

Me: What's an episiotomy?

Hubby: I think it's when they cut you so that it makes it easier for the baby to come out.

All of a sudden, I burst out into tears. I'm talking FULL ON BAWLING MY EYES OUT at this point.

Hubby: They put you under local anesthetic so you won't feel it. Plus, you probably won't even need one. Don't worry. (Another hug)

Me: I DON'T WANNA SQUEEZE OUT A BABY ANYMORE!!!! (Still in tears)

Seriously, can't they just knock me out cold?



P.S. Check out Mel's website! She creates lots of cute wall art for nurseries, bedrooms and playrooms!

28 comments:

hotmommy said...

oh chrissy you are too funny; your sense of humor hasn't changed! it really isn't that bad. i popped out three babies; well two aren't babies any more and all i can say is that you really doforget about the pain once you get to hold that little bundle of joy in your arms

Starshine said...

You look great! Thanks for sharing your convos with your hubby with us!

Rosie : ) said...

That was funny. :)

As for your thoughts about getting knocked out cold? I told my hubby the exact same thing for *each* pregnancy. I think it's a normal thought. :) Knowing what is feels like is not necessarily better, you know. ;)

Your body is built to birth, you are built to handle this pain {trust me, it's not like regular pain, it is completely different ~ you *can* handle it}.

The best thing I ever told myself was :"I am giving my full, drug-free attention to my baby to start off his/her life." This gave me the confidence to offer the best for my child. I really didn't want to get an epidural {needles terrify me more than pain!}, especially after I informed myself about different problems that can arise during/after the procedure {never a good thing to be too informed!}.

The episiotomy thing? It is not practiced as much in our neck of the woods. It is better to let your body take care of letting the baby through that zone. Episiotomies can take longer to heal than regular birth "skid-marks" {as my midwife called them}.

You need to have faith in your body. It is taking care of your child for nine months. Do you truly think it doesn't know what to do for the 1 hour, 2 hours or longer it will take to birth your child? :)

You are a smart woman, all these thoughts are very normal. If you think about it, would you really want to be knocked out cold and not see your body producing the most wonderful miracle it will ever do? Birth is painful, sure, but it is also part of the connection you will have with your child.

YOU ALONE are the only person to ever have had this experience with your child. It makes you a Mom, through and through. And no one can have this amazing experience with your child...not even hubby.

Although, my hubby has said that even thought he'd love to have that bond, he is really happy that he never had to give birth! lol {rolls eyes} Men!

PS you look soooo cute. :) !

C said...

Hot Mommy:
Every mother I've spoken to has told me the same thing :) I guess I need to mentally prepare myself for this! My Mom always tells me that women are strong and can handle these things.

C said...

Starshine:
Thank you :) Now that I've been able to stand back and think about our conversations, I realize just why my poor husband jokingly mentioned that I have been Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde lately!

C said...

Starshine:
P.S. He did quickly add that I wasn't "that bad". He said one minute I'm really happy and excited about the baby and the next minute, I'm really weepy and demanding. I really don't mean to be this way. It just happens! Trust me, I'm not normally like this! :)

Rosie:
THANK YOU for that comment!!! You really made me feel a lot better :) I may be coming back to you for more helpful tidbits!

japanmanpete said...

Blimey! I pity your poor husband, mate! In all seriousness, don't blame you for feeling the way you do. {NOTE: Sensitive side to Pete that does not often emerge}
It would probably give me the collywobbles too if I had to push something the size of a rugby ball out of me!

Cheers, love, and beer!
-Pete

Eve said...

You took me back to 7 years ago when I had my first child. I was so terrified I didn't want to have him. I was huge, and uncomfortable, and everyone asked if I was anxious to get him out, and I just kept saying "no, no, he can stay in as long as he wants. I'm really scared to labor and deliver!" and I was. I hate needles, I never give blood.

But my water broke and he needed to come out.

Needless to say I just had #4 7 weeks ago. She's beautiful, but by far the worst labor and delivery. I thought it would get easier. It doesn't. Even for those of us that have done it again and again.

I said things I never thought I'd say during this labor, like "I can't do it." and "She'll never come out." and "I want to die."

But when she finally did come, (and there is really no choice, they WILL come out one way or the other) I held her and cried and was so proud of myself.
It is the most amazing fulfilling experience, and you're about to join a very special club, you'll be able to sit around with all the other moms and rehash what it all was like, and you'll laugh about it.

I know I can say "don't worry" but you still will. Just remember, the finish line holds something so precious that it is SO WORTH IT!

I know you can do it Chrissy. You'll be a wonderful mommy.

Uncivil said...

C
You gotta a good man there!!!!I wish I was that sensitive!
Push...push!!!!

Sandy C. said...

Aww, you are glowing! :) I think if hubby called me a Buddha while pregnant, he may have bruising ;)

I felt the same way as you about episiotomy's. I've seen just about everything done during labor, and I feared it ALL. But trust me, when you're the one in labor, the only think on your mind is having the baby :)

Andria and Co. said...

Aww! It's not that scary. I had natural childbirth twice, and I'm the biggest whiny baby ever.

Rebecca said...

I think your husband is a doll. :)

C said...

Pete:
Wow! There is a soft and sensitive side to you! I am shocked! ;) Just kidding! You crack me up! BTW, what are "collywobbles"???

Eve:
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your comment! I cried! LOL! Actually, like I told you before, it isn't hard to make me cry these days! :) What you and Rosie said really changes my perspective on childbirth. I'll try not concentrating on the pain, but on bringing this baby into this world.

C said...

Uncivil:
Yeah. I know I got lucky with Hubby. He is really good to me. Oh, and the patience he's got with me! Amazing! LOL! The only time I can't seem to get his attention is when he's watching TV or reading the newspaper! ;)

Sandy:
Thank you :) However, in the first photo I was feeling a little nauseous! LOL!
Yes, I guess you're right about when it's you having the baby, the only thing on your mind is having that baby :) xoxo

C said...

Andria & Rebecca:
Thank you both for dropping by and commenting :) I'm off to check out your blogs now!

MoziEsmé said...

Too funny! I think you will do just fine, especially with such a supportive husband . . . :) Laughing makes the pain less!

T said...

Hope you had a great weekend Chris. Cute post. You will be fine and you will be a great mommy!

(I say this, but to be honest I'm glad I don't have to go through childbirth yet-- You go first!)

Jane - Mom Generations said...

This post made me smile SO much. You and your hubby are already such amazing parents to little Junior!! And those pictures are just too cute. And by the way, if I ever have kids, I'm totally getting knocked out for the birth. The baby and I can bond later! ;-)

Thank you for giving us this peek into your pregnancy. Can't wait to hear more about the kicks as the weeks go on!

xo,
Jane

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Oh honey, I know what you mean! Giving birth is definitely the most scary thing about the whole process. But if I lived through it, anyone can. ;) (I had a very easy, textbook birth, so I'm kidding)

Regarding the kicks, enjoy them! So much fun to feel the little kicks. Not so much fun when they hurt and the food gets kind of stuck in your ribcage. Ugh.

And I did NOT forget about the pain. It was just totally worth it to have my daughter.

And hey, my bloggy friend Black Belt Mama has a blog devoted to birth stories, and I wrote up the story of when Maya was born, and she posted it there. :) You can read it if you want, here:
http://www.blackbeltmama.com/birthstory/2006/07/index.html

It says she was due in 2006, but no, that's a typo. She was due *and born* in 1996. :)

Mrs. Mogul said...

Wait til your 9th month!! It's like hurting now with my baby squirming!

C said...

MoziEsmé:
Thank you for dropping by and leaving me a comment :) I just hopped over to your blog to check you out. What an interesting and exciting life you have! I'll be checking in again soon :)

T:
Oh, you keep joking about that! Just wait and see...you're up next, sista friend! ;)

C said...

Jane:
Thank you so much :) You are so sweet! xoxo
P.S. I'm still holding out on the getting knocked out at the time of delivery! LOL! ;) Wishful thinking, eh?

J:
Thank you for this comment! I checked out the link you included. Maya's birth story made me CRY!!! What a beautiful moment. Hearing stories like yours just makes me realize more and more how special that moment (when you bring your child into the world) is. Of course, all the other moments that follow are special too. I have a feeling I am going to feel so overwhelmed and so emotional! What a beautiful story you wrote! Oh, and Maya was such a beautiful baby!!! She's such a beautiful girl NOW too!

Thanks again, J. I think this is what I needed to hear right now :)

C said...

Mrs. Mogul:
That's what I've been hearing!! ;p Wow! Can't believe you're due really soooooon!!! Seems like just yesterday that you announced you were pregnant with #2!

mrinz said...

I used the love those very first movements - then you know it is for real!

Don't worry about the birth, by the time you get to 9 months pregnant you just want it born no matter what!

jan said...

You are so cute!!!

They put me to sleep when they finally got tired of my listing reasons why I should not be awake during all this.

lisaschaos said...

You will be fine. You'll be so caught up in getting to see what was causing the flutters and you'll be fine!

C said...

Mrinz:
You are so right :) In the beginning, it's hard to think that there is really a little baby growing inside. I think when the real serious kicks start happening, then it will feel all the more real!

I think the first dose of reality for Hubby was when he saw our last ultrasound where the baby was doing all kinds of kicking, arm flailing, somersaults, etc.

I am anxious for our big ultrasound tomorrow. Will I be tempted to find out the sex of the baby even though we promised we wouldn't? :)

C said...

Jan:
LOL! That's too funny! :) So, there is hope of me putting knocked out then!? ;)

Lisa:
Thank you for reminding me about that :) I keep having to tell myself to not focus on the pain and focus on safely bringing this baby into the world...and making sure he or she is healthy.

I am such a wuss though! LOL!

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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