Wednesday, April 14, 2010

And, I Love Her So


I was at rehearsal tonight. I always feel so full of life and energy at rehearsals. Every Wednesday night, I come home feeling like I'm on a natural high. This is the first thing I've done for myself since I gave birth to my daughter. I missed the creative part in me. I missed the camaraderie and the fellowship from working with others to create something amazing for people to enjoy. This year, the theatre group I've joined is putting on a Gilbert and Sullivan production (Iolanthe). It happens to be my all time favourite G & S operetta (followed closely by HMS Pinafore, Pirates of Penzance, and The Mikado).

The women were in one of the classrooms going over some of our parts for the musical, while the men were in the gym going over their parts.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her. My little Cindy Loo Who! She walked into the classroom, sought me out, and walked right up to me! The way her eyes lit up and the way she smiled when our eyes met was like pure magic! It was so sweet and so precious. At that moment, my heart melted.

I'm not used to being far away from my little girl. She's now seventeen months old and we've never really been apart for too long. To be honest, I cannot bear being away from her.

Tonight, I had rehearsal for the play and Hubby had to chair a meeting. With no babysitter available, Hubby took her to his meeting with him and they picked me up after rehearsal. They arrived a little bit before rehearsal ended, and my baby girl quietly wandered into the classroom as we rehearsed.

I remember feeling all warm and fuzzy when I saw her smiling and walking up to me. Her white fuzzy coat (which makes her look like a little lamb), her hair in Cindy Loo Who pigtails, and the sound of her shoes tap, tap, tapping on the floor as she wobbled towards me just melted my heart. Just the way she looked at me and smiled really got me so mushy inside!

I had to quickly scoop her up and hand her to her Dad so I could continue our rehearsal though!

Is this what it feels like being a mom? Taking in all the little, seemingly insignificant moments and savouring them? Why didn't anyone ever tell me that being a mom would feel this way? Actually, I don't think anyone could have ever told me anything that would prepare me for just how amazing, emotional, and profound the feelings of being a mom would be. It seems like every little thing she does is magic.

And, I love her so.

13 comments:

hotmommy said...

i don't know what you mean. i can't stand my 3 kids. just kidding! :0)

Cherry said...

Awww. That is so sweet. I can't wait! (oh yes I can... Much to do. Just need a few more days and I will settle down ;-) )

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

My daughter's 14, and she can still melt me with a smile. Sigh. (good sigh)

Christine said...

That is the best feeling in the world...I can totally relate.

C said...

HM:
LOL! You are too funny!

C said...

Cherry:
:) I just know how great a mom you're going to be, Cherry! Baby B is so very lucky to have you and Eric as parents. Can't wait for Baby's arrival!!! <3

C said...

J:
:) I bet! I can only imagine what things will be life in 14 years! She's captured my heart already. Well, she captured my heart before she was even born! It just really hit me again last night just how amazing being a mom is. Every now and then, I'll get a moment where it just hits me. Little One is now becoming so much more interactive, communicative, and just a character! So, when she comes up to me and looks at me and smiles, it melts my heart. She's now taken to coming up to me and laying her head on my lap. It's just so, so, so cute. I just want to hug her and kiss her, and savour every single moment I have with her.

C said...

Christine:
:) Amazing, isn't it? Wow...and nothing can ever prepare a woman for how overwhelmingly beautiful it is to have such a connection with her child. Never would I have imagined it would feel like this. HA! I say this as my 17 month old destroys the house! LOL! Gotta run! xo

VE said...

Amazing how big she is getting. I remember reading your posts before and after she was born and now look at her...

Frau Guten Tag said...

oh yeah, I totally know what you mean--there is NOTHING like seeing little Joseph eye's light up when he spots me in a crowd--"be still my heart" is what I always think in my mind. no one warned me it would be like this, but I don't think it's anything you can describe in words, so I don't think I would've understood even if someone did try to tell me!

C said...

VE:
I popped over to your blog (after being such a delinquent blogger) and left a few comments. I had lots of catching up to do on your blog!!

I know. Pretty crazy how so much has changed. Even crazier that we've been reading each other's blogs for that long!

C said...

Frau:
You are SOOOOOOO right! It really isn't something that one can wholly or even adequately describe in words. It truly is something one has to experience to understand.

Calfkeeper said...

Yeah, the Frau is right. Even when you try to explain the powerful emotional "thing" about being a parent, you can't make it make sense to someone who isn't a parent. Becoming a mother changes you so radically, there's no way to describe it.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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