Friday, January 12, 2007

I'm such a nag!!!

Oh boy! I’ve turned into the type of person I swore I’d never become. Does this sound familiar?
"Turn off the lights when you leave the room!"
"Don’t leave your socks on the floor!"
"Please put your cup in the sink if you’re done!"
"Do your homework!"

"Please stop fighting with each other."
"Stop trying to kill each other!!!"
I started out with polite requests, but after a zillion times of having to repeat myself, I’m starting to get a little miffed. We went over rules and etiquette when the students first arrived. I thought things were understood. Then again, they are boys. They're not adults. Do I expect too much? Am I too strict?
I brought the boys to the hairdresser’s the other day so they could tame their unruly manes. I thought their hairdos were cute, but they wanted it trimmed. Anyway, the hairdresser and I were chatting and she said someone had mentioned earlier to her that "she’d just like to skip the whole baby part. You know, all the changing diapers, feeding, crying, etc." I kind of said that I’d much rather go through that process so I could "grow" with my child and "learn" with my child…not just get thrown into raising a teenager.
P2 has been more helpful and thoughtful than P1. He has been helping me with chores like washing dishes, preparing meals, and putting the compost onto the garden. I did delegate chores and used positive reinforcement, and it works with P2. P1 is a bit more stubborn.
Hubby keeps reminding me that not only are the boys learning English, but they are also learning valuable life lessons like how to treat others, respect others, have responsibility, be tolerant to other cultures, and so on. I must keep remembering that…especially when I need a time out! Thank goodness for our greenhouse! The kids haven’t found my secret hiding place yet!

One quick question: The students study grammar and vocab acquisition in the morning, followed by either reading, writing, speaking or listening in the afternoon. Normally, after lessons an activity would follow (such as skating, bowling, a trip to Science North, a movie, etc). However, P1 has been particularly bratty, selfish and inconsiderate, so I have witheld all rights to activities. For some reason, he can't seem to understand why I'm not letting them do activities. In his homework journal, he wrote: "Today was sucky. What a sucky day. We didn't do activities today. We just studied. Oh shit." Uhhh...hello??? He's rude, selfish, bossy, and his personality needs some adjustment. Personally, I don't reward poor behaviour. I honestly don't think I should give the kids a reward. Activities are a privilege and not a right. The kid just doesn't understand!!! How can I effectively get this into his head? Anyone???


ahappilymarriedmommy said...

Welcome to the world of parenting Christine. I know you're their teacher but you are also their host-parents. If he's a teenager then a time out certainly wouldn't do squat. Keep doing what your doing with witholding activities. He'll get it into his head eventually. Stick to your guns and don't sway. Good luck girl!

t said...

Don't beat yourself up over it. Kids will be kids. Some are better behaved then others. Were these kids' parents strict with them before they were sent over to you guys? Were they allowed to run all over the place like rabid dogs? Just kidding! I'm trying to make you laugh. You sounded like you needed a good laugh when we talked on the phone the other night but you never once complained or let me know how stressed you were. Gimme a holla if you need me!

cara said...

HAHA! I'm watching Nanny 911 right now. Think those kids need a dose of Nanny 911? "Too much nagging and not enough listening"
No worries Chris. REinforce respect, respect, respect. It doesn't seem like P1 knows this but P2 is clueing in.

japanmanpete said...

Just chuck him in the rubbish bin! That's wot I say! ;-p

Chrissy121875 said...

LOL! Thanks everyone :) Thanks, Pete...for the throwing them in the rubbish bit. They've actually been very good for the past two days so I'm happy. Hubby also took them for a drive since he had to pick up something at a friend's. That gave me a whole 20 mins to myself :)

curiositykiller said...

Hey Chrissy. I feel for ya. I really do. I have some crappy crappy kids who would scream at their mothers and hit people.

I know it's extremely trying times to be dealing in these situations. And it's practically impossible to discipline a grown boy, but I don't believe in punishment and rewards (to a certain extent). Try very hard to take your own emotion out of it and just figure out the boy's problems. Seriously, if you want to make a difference with this boy, you have drill some serious patience in yourself and "talk" to him. Really, ask him why he's behaving like this, and why you DIDn't think he deserved activities. But say you'll give him his rights back and expect respect and good behavior because you BELIEVE in him. When he makes mistakes, then just be sensitive and let him know how he can fix it. The brattiest kids are actually the most sensitive children. This really worked for me when I have to deal with s**t ass boys. Once I talk to them like they are adults, MOST of them would actually make a difference to prove to everyone else that I'm right. And once they change for the better, praise them in front of others (especially parents), you'll see a completely different child. Just remember that this might take awhile.

Use "stop" and "time-outs" with this boy. Give him more homework because you know he's so smart. If he cannot finish his work in time, then you can eliminate his favorite activity for the day until he finishes.

If it doesn't work, and he becomes abusive (to YOU), then have a long talk with his parents (which children usually would be scared of one parent, at least). They might be able to come up with some logical excuse as to why he's messed up. If they don't believe you, then you can figure things out on your own terms. Whether you wanna keep him (for financial reasons or what not), etc.

Hope this helps.

Chrissy121875 said...

Thanks, Curiosity :) Very good always!

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