Friday, October 24, 2008

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly



Found this cartoon on the http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/ site. Totally cracked me up because it reminded me of what I go through whenever people see me at the grocery store, bank, post office, etc. For some reason, people automatically gravitate to the belly. I know they are excited for us (and we're excited to be expecting a baby too), but I have to admit that it does sometimes make me a little uncomfortable when people I don't really know come up and touch my belly. I know they mean well, but I do get a bit weirded out about it sometimes. Other days, it just doesn't bother me, but for the most part, I feel uncomfortable. I've had a few people stroke my belly and talk to the baby...and accidentally brush my breast with their hand in the process. Ummm...yeah. That kind of freaks me out.

Anyway...

Week 1 of bed rest is almost over. Think I can survive another 102 days? I'm 25wks,3d pregnant and our OB-GYN is hoping I can keep "Junior" in until at least week 32.

What have I been doing all week? To be honest, the first day of bed rest was by far the most difficult. I cried out of sheer frustration having to be dependent on everyone else. I've been put on very strict bed rest, which means I'm not even allowed to sit up!

THE GOOD:

*Phone calls, e-mail, cards, visits, and surprises in the mail have kept me busy.

*I've already started reading Twilight and I am really absorbed in the story. I had to put the book down for a while and go on the internet for fear that I'd finish reading the entire book this morning. That's how good the story is!

*Spending time in bed all day all week has made me a lot more in tune with the baby's awake patterns. It feels like I've been able to bond more with my unborn child. Does that sound weird? "Junior" has gotten very, very active and very strong. The kicks, which used to feel like little twitches or pushes, have become full on kicks. Sometimes the baby kicks so hard that it surprises me and makes me stop whatever I was in the midst of doing. Not that I've been doing much other than reading, watching TV, surfing the internet, sleeping...*sigh*

*New addiction: Tina Fey as Sarah Palin videos! Too funny. I now have time to spend on having fun on the internet and not just doing work. Thank goodness for online work. At least that pays the phone bill and a few other things.


THE BAD:

*I feel guilty not being able to do anything (besides grow this baby and make sure he doesn't arrive earlier than he ought to).

*It ticks me off that I can't even go down to the kitchen and get myself a glass of milk or make myself a sandwich.

*I feel badly that my husband has to work so hard outside of the home AND still have to come home to take care of me.

*I'm not contributing to our household income very much at the moment. One of my ESL contacts e-mailed me, asking if I could take in students, but I had to tell her I'm on strict bed rest. I cannot get out of bed, sit, walk...so teaching and hosting ESL students is out of the question. Totally sucks. *sigh*


THE UGLY:

*I've been watching shows like Rachael Ray and the Martha Stewart Show...and really enjoying it! Scary, huh? I can now say that I know how to make No-Sew Halloween costumes for babies and spooky Halloween treats.

*My MIL has been a total sweetheart and has been coming over every day to help out. She cleaned and reorganized my kitchen for us. I haven't been to the kitchen since the beginning of my bed rest and have no clue what the state of our kitchen was left in before the bed rest. I am so embarrassed to have people take care of things that I normally take care of.

*I begged my husband to not let his mom do our laundry. I just feel so awful having someone else wash my "unmentionables". Not that I'm a prude or anything, but I just feel really ashamed at having become so dependent on others. Hubby was great and said he would do the laundry.

*It really irritates me having to let everyone do things for me. I know it needs to be this way because every day extra that Junior is inside the womb counts. I think the thing that bugs me the most is that I'm not sick, crippled, invalid, or incapacitated. I'm fine! It's just my stupid cervix that is ready to deliver this baby right now.

*I haven't put on make-up or styled my hair (unless you consider a ponytail fashionable) in a week. All my cute maternity clothes? Haven't worn them this week either. They're not really bed rest type of clothing.


Only 102 days to go. 14 wks and 4 days. Not that I'm counting.

31 comments:

Dina said...

hey c,
i have been thinking about you lots this week and praying that baby stays in there for at least as long as the doctor hopes it should (i know run on sentence)
I am relieved to hear you survived week 1 of BR alright! You will be OK!!!
Never mind RR and MS...i LOVE those shows too and i'm not on BR!! Got addicted to RR when i was off with E and now that I'm off with M i am watching again...her recipes seem so super easy and she is so darn likable!!
Hugs
D

C said...

Hey, D!
I was thinking of you today! So happy you popped by :) I am thinking of a good (and super easy) recipe to contribute to the recipe exchange! Fun! :) You know me...I love that kind of thing!

Miss you! xoxo

caninecologne said...

c - ok, so what chapter are you on???? 13 yet????

the writing is not so great, but the story line is like reading a lovestruck diary from junior high/high school...plus, it has forbidden love!

now that you've started reading twilight, you may soon be hooked on this cracktastic series.

btw, i'm with you on having your husband do your laundry instead of his mom. i'd hate for my MIL to see my underwear also. hmmmm, what's this thong doing here? ha ha.

Autumn's Mom said...

I want to read Twilight as well. It's been sitting on our couch taunting me. Autumn has read the series. She's really excited about the movie.

I'm glad you are surviving. Your husband sounds amazing. I think the hardest part is definitely letting go and just be taken care of. I know it seems like forever, but it's really a small part of this life ;)

You can kick me for saying that if you want. Let Junior do it! haha

Trish said...

C - thinking of you and thank you for the award...email me if you want snail mail from Australia.

Starshine said...

It's true...you would never touch a stranger's belly if they weren't pregnant, but for some reason, when there's a baby in there, people feel free to reach out and touch you!

louann said...

First of all C, I love that cartoon. And I would LOVE to get a shirt / dress like that. It can be tiring having to repeat all those pregnancy details all the time!

C, please don't be discouraged. You are blessed to have so many people around you who care so much about you. I know it can make you feel guilty sometimes, but try not to. Remember, we are all thinking about the safety of Junior. I know you can do it!! =)

{{hugs}}

Really wished we lived near each other.

C said...

Canine:
Tee hee! Chapter 18. I just can't put the book down, bur I'm trying not to finish the first book right away. I just don't want it to end! I also don't want to finish the entire 4 books in 4 days! These are supposed to help make my days on bed rest go by faster. If I read them all now, I'll be bored later! ;)

You are so right about the MIL/laundry/underwear thing! My sentiments exactly :)

C said...

AM:
Definitely read it when you get the chance :) I'm almost done the first book, and I'm already curious to see what the movie will be like!

You are so right about what you said re: letting go and allowing others to help out. Hubby has been so great about everything. He keeps reminding me that this is all for Junior.

C said...

Trish:
Thank you so much. You are so sweet. Really, thank you for thinking of us :) xo

C said...

Starshine:
That is so true! LOL! I guess a pregnant belly is irresistable to touch. I can't blame people for wanting to touch the baby bump, but it really is awkward sometimes. Close friends and close family members are different though. I don't mind that so much. Strangers though?

C said...

Louann:
The cartoon is great, isn't it? :)

BTW, thanks for your positivity and encouragement :) I also wish we lived closer! Hey, my Mom is in your neck of the woods for the next 3 months! Well, not really. Batangas is far from you, but I think she was going to see family in Manila (errrr...Makati?) too.

caninecologne said...

hi c - wow, 18! you're fast! one of my friend's is "savoring" the book as well. she doensn't want it to end...

because i'm such a fangirl/nerd, i've already read the (leaked) script and read all the blogs of the fans who were on set during the filming of the movie in Oregon. it's not going to be "exactly" like the book, since it's an adaptation, but from what i've read/seen, it looks awesome. gosh, do i sound like a teenager or what?

here's a short story about pregancy...i remember i was leaving a discount store (big lots) and i was stopped by a Spanish speaking woman in the parking lot (of all places). i was on the way to my car and she stopped me and put her hand out to touch my pregnant self - she didn't even ask! she just did it, which freaked me out. she said (in Spanish, which I understand) , "It's for luck" (hmmm, like rubbing a buddha statue's belly for luck?). okayyy, lady, GTFO of my face!!! she didn't look like she meant any harm and she seemed genuinely happy that I was pregnant, but I was still kind of taken aback because it just happened and I didn't even have a chance to say "No, don't do that" or turn away because she was right THERE. shudder. yeah, i hated that when people wanted to touch me. what's up with people wanting to rub pregnant chick's stomachs.

back to twilight - enjoy it...then start New Moon ASAP!

Palm Springs Savant said...

All I can say is I don't know HOW you women do it. The pregnancy thing is an amazing experience that we men just don't get.

C said...

Canine:
Wow! It's true...some people don't even ASK if they could touch the belly! If they did, we'd probably say no, right? LOL!

Funny you mentioned the Buddha belly rubbing for good luck thing. The other night when Hubby was touching the belly and talking to Junior (I let him do it, because he is the Dad!), he was laughing and joking around. He said something to the effect of, "Ommmmmmm!!! Just rubbing the Buddha belly!" Hmph! LOL! Can I tell you how unimpressed I was? ;)

Thanks for all the links you've sent me! I think I'm in love with Robert Pattinson now! LOL! Can't wait to see what the movie is going to be like!

Almost done the first book. Can I tell you how addicted I am?? Wow!

C said...

Palm Springs Savant:
Hi, Rick! I've missed reading your blog regularly, but I have a sneaky suspicion that you'll be hearing a lot from me now that I'm on bed rest! ;)

I don't know HOW we do it either! Sure hope I don't go insane while on house arrest...errr...I mean bed rest! 101 days to go. *sigh*

Veronica said...

Lots of resting for you! And fingers crossed for a 34 week delivery, which is *much* nicer than a 32 week one.

Momisodes said...

Oh C. It's hard feeling so helpless. But please don't feel guilty or bad. Really. Your baby and your health is the most important thing right now. Please take care and rest up!

p.s. It drove me nuts when people touched my belly too.

BeachMama said...

You are doing great!! I know it is hard to let go and let others do for you, but if the tables were turned and a family member or friend was in the same situation, I know you would be right there helping out. It is all worth it, every boring moment of lying in bed.

caninecologne said...

hi c! you're welcome for the links. i loved the HD trailer.

yeah, i'm ROBsessed! is that sad or what! ha ha


btw, did u like The Movie Fanatic Article I sent? It was a good retrospective of his (at this point,short) career so far. from cedric diggory to edward cullen to salvador dali (can't wait until "Little Ashes" is released in the US in early 2009), i hope he becomes the new Depp.

caninecologne said...

hi c - it's me again. the link i sent you for the twilight HD trailer was good until yesterday. the blog it was on is undergoing renovation, so it's not on there anymore. so, if you tried to click on it today, sorry! you can still go on myspace or the movie website.

have you watched the link to "The Bad Mother's Handbook" yet? Rob Pattinson's character, the nerdy and painfully shy Daniel Gale is "adorkable"!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

OK, from this post, somehow I'm getting the feeling that you dislike being dependent on people. Am I making that up? ;)

Everyone wants you to do just what you're doing, no one resents you. If it starts to bother you, having your husband wait on you, or your mother in law, turn it around and think, what if it were one of them who had to be in bed for 102 days. You wouldn't blame them, right? You'd want to do whatever had to be done to make them better, right? And if a baby was thrown in, you'd be even more willing to pick up the slack, right? So truly, no worries.

Just remember to be gracious and grateful, though not annoyingly so. I don't say this because I think you wouldn't be, for any reason, but because when my mom was sick and dependent, she hated that aspect SO MUCH, that her manners went out the window, and she became crabby and resentful. And bossy. Didn't resent us trying to help her, just resented the situation, but took it out on us. I've heard of this happening many times with independently minded people.

I'm thinking of you hon, and how crummy this is for you. But soon enough, it will be just a crappy memory, and you'll be chasing 'junior' all over the house. :)

Maya read the Twilight books, and LOVES them. There's a movie coming out in December, but somehow I suspect you'll be seeing it on DVD. ;)

Mrs. Mogul said...

wow how exciting! it's all gonna by and then on the 9th month it draaaggs!

Cherry said...

Even with my best friends I never wanted to touch their bellies. Ok, I was probably curious, but never was about to do it unless they would say... 'you HAVE to feel this!' Which would only happen occasionally. And would be a special moment, not a hey how yea doing, let me rub on you.

I used to think it was just the older crowd, but no. I think some people are just more touchy.

You know girl, you vent away. I am personally totally interested in what is going on with you and admit to worrying for you. So I'm glad for your posts.

I thought of you as I laid in bed today with the laptop against my legs. Thinking, oh look I can use the laptop and be doing laying down. Which made me think of you, and then realized there is NO WAY that would work with a pregnant belly, plus the back ache that would quickly come on. Oy!

You hang in there! And take the help! (I know, easier said then done)

Karen MEG said...

Hi C, how was your weekend?

As I sit here, for a moment's reprieve, feeling like I've run around the house about 100 times since the kids got home, utterly exhausted at 8:28 pm, a bed sounds pretty good around now ;)... but I'm sure the bedrest must be quite frustrating. I know I'd be wanting to get up every 30 seconds, which could be why I'm so exhausted!!!

The T-shirt in the cartoon is so true!!! I remember the guy at the gas station looking like he wanted to touch my belly, but ended up just commenting that it looked like I was carrying a girl (which I was). I don't think there are many more life-affirming, hope inspiring-images than a woman with child, so I guess that's why you're almost like public property when you're expecting. As one of my blog friends, Xbox noted, people aren't so willing to give you the sweet smiles, and touch your screaming 2 year old when they're having a tantrum in the supermarket LOL!

Let everyone do the work... your real work will come once Junior is here... then the fun will really begin! It's not that far away ...

Hugs to you C ... xoxo

C said...

Veronica:
Thanks! :) You're right...the longer the baby's in there, the better! :)

Momisodes:
So true. Thanks for reminding me about keeping things in perspective. It's all about Junior right now and getting Junior here healthy and safely. It's hard to accept having everything done for me by everyone, but I suppose I don't really have much choice here.

C said...

Beachmama:
Okay, now that you put it THAT way, things all of a sudden seem a bit different :) It's true. I'd do it for my loved ones too. Thanks for poiting that out :) I really never even thought of it that way.

C said...

Canine:
It's okay...because now you've got me ROBsessed!!!

I'm goint to check out the link for "The Bad Mother's Handbook" today. so excited! LOL! I know...sad, eh? Little things like this just make me so happy. Doesn't take much to entertain me while I'm on bed rest! LOL!

C said...

J:
You know, I wish I had your clarity and perspective. Seriously, when I read your comment, I thought "Oh, I wish I could be more like Julie!" I know...sounds weird, but what you said really made sense to me. Instead of begrudgingly accepting everyone's help and efforts, I really ought to see that I'd do the same if the tables were turned. I'm just so used to doing things on my own and giving that up is so hard. I cried when I found out that my MIL did my laundry. Cried out of embarrassment and helplessness.

I have been thankful, grateful, gracious...but it's been hard. You are so right though. In a a way though, I can see how your Mom may have felt.

Thanks for thinking of us, J...and for always seeming to know just what to say :) REALLY means a lot. You have no idea how much!

P.S. I have a feeling I'll only be able to see Twilight on DVD too! Hmph! LOL! Glad Maya really enjoyed the books! That's awesome! I love it when my nieces really get into certain books and just want to read, read, read! Can you tell I think children/young adults ENJOYING reading is a very important thing? :)

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Well C, just because I say it doesn't mean I would be able to do it in your shoes. I'm a very grumpy person when I'm sick, and I tend to be annoyed with those who want to help me. Actually, I tend to think they're bossing me around, and I don't like that. So yeah, I know how my mom felt.

But next time I'm flat on my back, I'm going to remember my mom's grumpiness and how it made me feel...and try to be more gracious. And instead of worrying about people caring for me, I'll try to remember that of course, I would do the same thing for them. :)

C said...

J:
I've been feeling horrible lately. Part of me feels like I don't have any control over anything anymore. It does sometimes feel like everyone has become "the boss of me". This said, if I had to help any of my friends or family the way they've been here for me, I would.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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