Sunday, March 07, 2010

It's A Very Sad Day...


It appears that Little One, just short of sixteen months of age, has decided that it is time to self-wean. I never ever thought this moment would be so emotional...but it is.

It seems that this isn't really something many moms talk about. I haven't spoken about this with a lot of my mommy friends. The feelings are real though. I know I should be excited about all of Little One's newest milestones and that she is growing and developing so nicely. I am happy that she's learning and growing. I really am! The difficult thing is that while she's growing into her own person, she's also leaving behind the "baby" that she was.

My little girl is growing up and I have to admit that it is really, really hard for me. When I tried to nurse her this morning, she pushed me away, turned her head, and grunted in protest. That has got to be one of the saddest moments I've ever experienced.

There was a time when all she wanted was her Mama. She'd nurse, and nurse, and nurse...and was so very happy. We shared lots of tender moments. It was just Little One and her Mama. We shared some quiet bonding time together...and now all she wants is her big girl's sippy cup! This must be what rejection feels like.

I keep telling myself that it is a huge accomplishment to have breastfed her so long. Sixteen months is pretty good. Initially, I had planned on nursing her until she was twelve months old. I later decided that I'd nurse her until she self-weaned. I just didn't expect that day to come so soon.

Hard to believe she went from this...

to this! Why can't my little girl stay a baby for a bit longer?

15 comments:

caninecologne said...

hi c - awwwww, she's growing up.....be proud of yourself that you nursed her for that long. i couldn't even last one week!

here's what you get to look forward to in ten years - my daughter's class (only the 4th grade girls) had to watch a movie about THE PERIOD. OMFG right? there is a girl in her class who actually has her period (this same girl is almost as tall as the teacher, a petite 5 footer, and is 'developed')!

actually, i previewed the film at the district office last summer. they told us the girls would be watching in 2nd semester. it was an animated film from the 90's and very clinical and kind of vague.

i just didn't expect to have 'the talk' so soon. well, the period talk. i'm going to have to deal with the 'sex' talk eventually but not quite yet!

word ver:

bultsi

(sounds like an almost anagram of bull$#!t)
by the way, bert sent off your package filled with 'crack for babies' yesterday. you should be getting in in about a week. :) enjoy!

ρομπερτ said...

As long as they are small, provide them with a nest, afterwards with wings to make them fly.

(A poster in his room.)

Please have you all a wonderful start into the new week.
p.s.: believe me that it can be also a "bit hard" for dads, especially as it was me who did made the milk during each and every night, from the first day he was home, feeding him in the beginning nearly every third hour, falling asleep during the day (that's me), until tonight, as it is close to four in the morning, taking care of him, guiding through the night, into the day, into life ;)

C said...

Canine:
Thanks, CC! I don't know why I'm taking LO's growing up so hard, but I am!
Whoa! Periods in grade 4!!! Seems like kids start earlier and earlier these days! Crazy!
Man, I'm having a rough time dealing with LO walking and self-weaning! I can't imagine having "the sex talk" with her!! Gahhhhhh!!!

Thanks sooooooooo much for the baby crack!!! You da best!!

C said...

Robert:
Thank you so much for that! I needed to hear it! :) Hope you guys are all doing well where you are. Have a great week!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I'm sorry hon. :( Maya self weaned, too, though much younger (10 or 11 months). It's easier though, not to have to push her away. And don't worry, she'll still be a Mama's girl for a few more years at least. Maya didn't want to nurse, but still wanted ME a lot for years. Even now sometimes, and she's almost 14. ;)

hotmommy said...

i must be the worlds most aweful mom because i can't say i know what you're feeling. with having nursed three kids i am glad i have my boobs back..the fisrt i bf'd until she was 9 mnths, the second until 6 mnths and the third until 11 mnths. i formula fed the first two afer i stopped bf them and the last went straight to cows milk.

like j said, she may not want to bf but she will still want her mamma.

Christine said...

That is a hard time....thinking of you!!!

BeachMama said...

Hugs to you!

Having had both a self-weaner and a had-to-wean-or-I-was-going-to-die I have to say that the first was so emotional. I knew it was coming and then one day he finally turned away and that was it. For Apple she just wouldn't stop and I needed my body back for my sanity, so I had to let go. It is hard, but Little One i growing you will have new adventures with her.

merinz said...

That is so sad. It sure is an important emotional milestone - for both of you.

But I guess that is what we do as parents - raise independent little people who can survive in the world eventually with out us. And if they can do that then we have done our job well.

C said...

J:
Awww! That really made me feel better, actually! :) Must keep that in mind.

C said...

HM:
Yeah, I know I need to ease up on the Mommy guilt. I just feel like as Moms we tend to feel like we need to be everything and do everything for our loved ones and I'm having a hard time filling that role. :(

C said...

Christine:
Thank you for thinking of me :) We should discuss BF when we see each other. Will you be at play group this week?

C said...

BM:
Thank you. You always seem to know the right things to say :) How are you guys anyway? We'll be in K-town in two weeks. That's *sort of* in your neck of the woods!!

C said...

Merinz:
Wow! That last bit you mentioned really hit me. You are so right. That is definitely something I need to keep in mind. I think I'm going to have to print your comment and put it on our fridge! :)

Frau Guten Tag said...

Although I wasn't able to breastfeed little J, I do understand. Little J is almost 11 months now & I honestly don't feel like I have a baby anymore. I have a little boy now. Some days it makes me so sad. But I work hard at just relishing in each stage he goes through, there's really not much else I can do. I still love to lay on the floor & he'll crawl all over me (we call it mommy-climbing)--he gets such a kick out of it & it's great physical bonding time for us. I take what I can get these days. But he still sometimes walks up to me & just gives me a hug for no reason & it totally melts my heart. Who knew you could love this much?

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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