Saturday, November 11, 2006

The Persistence of a Memory


I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw were some light, fragile snowflakes dancing in the wind outside our big window by our bed. I had the odd feeling of 'deja vu'- a feeling I get every now and then. It was a strange feeling of 'I've been here', 'I've experienced this very moment before', 'this all seems so familiar'. I sat up and looked out the window, and to my surprise, the ground was completely white! We must have had a big snowfall last night, because everything is covered in snow.

My mind reeled back to that moment when I woke up and saw the snowflakes dancing in the wind. It brought me back to a time when I was a university student. I woke up, looked out the window and the first snow had fallen. I sat up in bed only to see my dear friend N smiling back at me. He and I had been great friends. We shared a love for literature, the arts, history, and the environment. We were both vegetarian, both active in environmental issues, and both loved to write. We always seemed to have a great time together and he honestly was one of the most special people in my life. He had a shy sense of being, was quirky in an 'artsy' kind of way...he was kind, gentle, soft-spoken, and he was so very handsome in a Clark Kent kind of way. I used to tell him he looked like Superman.

N smiled and asked me what I wanted for breakfast. We decided on heading to 'The Butler's Pantry' for some scrumptious waffles loaded with fresh fruit. It was also a place where artsy people hung out on a Sunday morning. Still half asleep, I wondered how long N had been sitting at his desk while I was sleeping. I'm kind of self-conscious when I sleep. I hate it when people watch me sleep. (Am I drooling? Snoring? Foaming at the mouth? LOL)

"Just writing you a poem", he smiled. "But you can't read it while in my presence." I still have that poem tucked away in one of my boxes of memories. I sometimes go back and revisit my former life as an early 20 something year old.

That was years ago and I went to Japan to teach shortly after that. We kept in touch through e-mail and letters, but that shortly ended. I haven't been able to contact him since and I sometimes wonder what he is up to and where life has brought him. He used to be a guy with all these visions of a Utopian world, though he was realistic at the same time (if that doesn't sound too contradictory). There was so much I admired in him. There are so many people that come in and out of my life, and some I don't care much that we've lost touch, and others, I wish we still remained in contact. Of course, this is a chapter of my life that I cherish. I sometimes miss my youth, my university days, my naive view of the world, my unjaded view of life and people, and most of all, my freedom from responsibility. Ahhh, how nice it was to be young...

Then I look at my sleeping husband, so sweet and adorable sleeping under the warm fleece covers. I am a lucky girl to have such a wonderful life :)

PS. Let us not forget all the soldiers and veterans on this Remembrance Day.
PPS. Happy birthday, Jonathan (JP)!

3 comments:

Ms. Mamma said...

Thanks for making me cry this morning. Very, very sweet. I have to go and blow my nose now. :)

Anonymous said...

beautiful writing

Dylon said...

Dali would have been proud! ;)

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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