Thursday, May 24, 2012

She Said WHAT?!?!


Rushing in the morning on an already hazy, humid mosquito filled morning, I could feel myself getting tense.  Little One was dawdling - stopping every few feet to pick up a white-headed dandelion (which she calls "giant wish flowers").  I scooped her up, put her in her car seat, hopped into the driver's seat, and drove up our lane way.

Little One: Mine too! Mine too! Mine too! (screaming, tears rolling down her cheeks)
Me: Oh, dear. Now what?!
Little One: (pulling at her seat belt straps) My seat belt! Mine too!!

At this moment I feel like the world's most horrible Mom. I never forget to buckle her into her car seat. NEVER!

It was one of those days.

Above photo taken a few months ago.  Please excuse the helmet. She takes car safety very seriously.  Either that, or she thinks my driving is absolutely horrible.

We started singing the entire score for Gilbert & Sullivan's The Gondoliers. Little One mentioned that she was thirsty.

Me: We left your sippy cup at ThatCoolTeacherMom's house. She's going to return it when she sees us next.
Little One: Mommy, where's my Princess p3nis?
Me: (in shock) Pardon me? Your what?
Little One: My. Princess. P3nis!
Me: Ohhhh! Your Princess THERMOS! (this is the second day in a row that she's called her Thermos a p3nis)
Little One: Why? Why is it not a p3nis?
Me: Honey, you know what a p3nis is. That stainless steel thing that keeps your drinks hot or cold is called a Thermos.
Little One: (laughing) What is a p3nis?
Me: Honey, you remember! What do girls have that boys don't have?
Little One: A vag!na.
Me: Boys have a ______?
Little One: P3nis!
Me: That's right.
Little One: What's a vag!na for?

(Urgh. She's only three years old. I think I'll just stick with the non-$exual functions of this part of the anatomy for now)

Me: Well, a vag!na is a part of the female body and you pee from there.
Little One: What's a p3nis for?
Me: (Haha! Oh, boy. Trouble!) Males - boys and men have them and when they pee, pee comes from there.
Little One: Mommy, and [insert Little One's real name here], and Lola have VAG!NAS!
Me: Yes. That's right, honey.
Little One: Daddy and [insert LO's friend's little brother's name here] and Grampy have P3NISES!
Me: That's correct. Oh! What does Chance (our dog) have?
Little One: (quietly thinking and then laughing) I don't know!
Me: Chance is a boy! He has a...
Little One: P3NIS!
Chance is a boy dog?!
Oh, the questions!

Little One is three years old and I explain things as openly and honestly to her in a way I feel is age-appropriate.  I know some people do not feel that proper anatomical terms are appropriate for children, but I do not believe calling girl parts "cupcake", "flower", "hooha", or "peach" and boy parts "turtle", "birdie", "lizard", or "wee wee" appropriate. Neither way is right or wrong...or better or worse.  For me, I'd just like Little One to know the proper names of things.

We've got bodily functions down. Let's hope the $ex questions don't come for another few years.

30 comments:

Lisa Marie Fletcher said...

hehe. kids are awesome. :) Especially when they mix up words. I remember when I was working in the toddler room at a day care, there was one 2 year old who every time a truck went past the window would scream out a swear word that rhymes with truck - thinking he was saying TRUCK! It always had us in stitches. :D

Nicole said...

Hehehe! Oh children say the darndest things. This post had me in the giggles.

Christine said...

Lisa Marie:
TRUCK! I can see how that could get confused! :) Too cute!!! Kids crack me up! Too funny!

Christine said...

Nicole:
Tee hee! Kids do come up with the craziest things! So funny! Gotta love 'em! Endless entertainment! So amazing to watch (and listen to) them as they grow and develop their own personalities!

Jenn said...

Christine,
I really enjoy reading your blog...
It brings a little part of Manitoulin to the Far North :)
Little One reminds me of when my younger brother was that age.
(You know him from the plays in Twang)

Christine said...

Jenn:
Thanks so much for popping by and commenting! You had my curiosity piqued about who your brother is. Now that I think of it, I think he's the one I used to carpool to rehearsals with, right? :)
If this is the right Jenn, congrats on your wedding!!!

Kelly @ City Mom said...

This is hilarious! It is recommended that parents use the proper names for our body parts! It's our society that is uncomfortable with the correct words. We call an ear an ear and a hand a hand so why do we feel we need to make up names for our 'other' parts?

We actually refer to the veejay as 'vulva'. Even though I hate the sound of that word it is the actual name of the body part! We started right at the beginning so in our house it's not weird but I know when other people hear her say it they cringe! I guess thats their problem!

Christine said...

Kelly:
You are SO right! It's true! We do call the rest of the anatomy by their regular names, but not other "other" bits! You're right about the fact that if other people don't like to hear the real names being said, it's their own problem. LOL! Little One is starting school this Fall and I'm already cringing at the things she might say! LOL! Oh, boy.

Ourfamilyworld said...

This post made me giggle too!! She really takes car safety seriously!!!thanks for sharing

Rachel said...

Too funny! I love the innocence of all the questions. What a curious little lady you have.

jMo said...

Chance is like, "Leave me out of it!"

Anonymous said...

When my daughter was 36 months we had a farm helper for the summer who was an 18-year-old boy. One day we were all sitting at the lunch table and she asked him if he had a little brother. He said "Yeh, I do. Timmy." She said "Me too -see!(pointing at her little brother in his high chair) He came out my mommy's vulva." Not the lunch conversation we were expecting! E's mom

Christine said...

OFW:
LOL! Yes! She does! Have you ever met a kid who took car seat safety THAT seriously?!?! ;)

Rachel:
Indeed! Which is why I'm nervous about her starting school in the Fall! I'm nervous about the phone calls I'll be getting! "She said whaaaaat!?!?" LOL!

Jeanna:
HAHAAH! For sure! That's what he was totally thinking! Poor dog.

Multi-Testing Mommy said...

I love it when they start to draw connections like that!

Fun times!

My 3 year old yelled out in the swimming pool change room, "Hey Mom, where's your Scr*tum"?

Shayna said...

Oh my! Sounds so much like my two year old! First, daddy almost drove away the other day without her seatbelt done up. She politely asked "Daddy can I have my seatbelt on?" And the questions, oh the questions! I generally try to be open and honest too, except for the day she went into my night stand and found one of mommy's toys..."What's this mommy?" Oh, hmmm, I don't know...

Hazel said...

Oh my!! that must have been a shock for you... coming from a 3 year old!!! i think you did a great job at explaining :)

Just Us Girls said...

You are such a good mommy, sometimes things happen, I can remember forgetting to put their seat belt on and got an ear full from my daughter, lol. Kids say the darnest things!

Julia M. C-G said...

I'm telling you, if you put her with Bill Cosby in a room and video camera, you would have a full season of that show "Kids Say The Darndest Things". She ROCKS!

Paula Schuck said...

This is hysterical! I love kids. So funny!

Paula
@inkscrblr

Jackie said...

Christine;
So sorry to hear about your grandmother. I was out of town, and am a bit delayed. Hope everyone is finding peace.

Kathleen (aka Callista) said...

Haha that's funny! Been there with the car seat. ooops. At least she could tell you that you forgot.

We use proper names too and I answer questions honestly. I wouldn't recommend saying we pee from our vaginas though as that's not accurate. If you are going to use the proper names, might as well use the proper uses. Oh and you won't be waiting as long as you think for the s*x questions, lol, just a warning.

Christine said...

MTM:
Bwahahaha! "Hey, Mom! Where's your scr*tum!" Love it! Sooooooo funny!!

Shayna:
Hahaha! Oh my!
When my friend's daughter was 4 years old (she's now 16!!!), she was sifting through her mom's purse and came across a little package and said, "Mom! This gum looks weird!" Ummm...it wasn't gum! It was a condom!!! LOL! Oh, kids! Too funny.

Christine said...

Hazel:
Thank you so much. I need the moral support to get me through these interesting years! LOL! I always say, I wonder if I'll be alive by (the time she's) five!? ;)

JUG:
Awww! Too funny! Some kids don't like to be belted in, by our kids WANT to be in their seat belts! Go figure! Safety first! ;) lol

Christine said...

Julia:
I wish!!! Wouldn't that be awesome?! With my luck, she'd clam up and be really, really shy.

Paula:
Yes. Hours of entertainment and fun. LOL!

Christine said...

Jackie:
Thank you :) I was actually thinking of you the other day. If you ever feel like meeting up at Loco Beanz, give me a shout (or an e-mail). Or we can get together at one of our houses! ;)

Callista:
Yes, you're right! I was thinking about that! I think she caught me off guard and I just said the first thing that came to mind and that was easiest to explain! LOL!

Jenn said...

Christine:
That's him :)
Thank you!

Canadian Dad said...

Awesome! Love kids and their crazy minds!! My son cried to me the other day that his weiner was getting bigger and he didn't like it...Oh boy!

Christine said...

Jenn:
Now following your blog :)

Canadian Dad:
Bwahahahaha!!! I cannot believe your son said that! :) Precious! LOL!

Lee-Ann said...

LOL You have to love kids!

Christine said...

Lee-Ann:
Ohhhh...soooooooo true! LOL!!!

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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