Sunday, December 21, 2008

More Surprises!

I think I'm tired. Actually, I think I'm exhausted. It's just starting to hit me that I have been away from home since October. My baby is almost six weeks old and I have been in Toronto for over eight weeks.

It suddenly dawned on me that I miss my husband terribly. I feel like a single parent since I am doing everything on my own. All the decisions regarding our daughter's health care at the hospital, all the relaying of information...everything is so overwhelming sometimes and it all rests on me. I am honestly so tired, that processing what doctors and nurses tell me is next to impossible. Fortunately, Little One is doing great and there is nothing much to report right now.

The commuting back and forth to the hospital every day is exhausting. Having to wait for the bus in the freezing cold is aggravating. For the past three days, I've had to wait for the bus for over an hour and a half. There was supposed to be a bus at 7:10 in the evening and 7:40 and neither of those buses showed up! I thought that with the increase in public transportation fares, the service would improve.

My parents were going to spend Christmas with us for Little One's first Christmas, but have informed me that they will be spending Christmas with my brother and his family in Kingston. If Hubby can't make it to Toronto (in event of bad weather), it'll be just Little One and me at the hospital on Christmas. I'm getting weepy just thinking about it. Having to be alone on Christmas would just be so depressing...and this isn't how I wanted to spend Little One's first Christmas.

Okay, enough complaining. I have a lot to be thankful for.
Little One is now 4 lbs, 3 oz. and is 45 cm long. She was 2 lbs, 3 oz and 34 cm long at birth. I also noticed that her hair is light brown and wavy! She takes after her Daddy in that respect. Her eyes are cobalt blue, but I guess all babies have blue eyes when they are born, right? Her eyes will most likely change to brown later on. I love the cobalt blue though! She has such pretty eyes!

Oh, and the coolest surprise today was...
When I arrived at the hospital this morning to breastfeed Little One, I saw that she was wearing clothes!!! The night nurse put a cute little preemie onesie on her! She is pretty much ready to be in a crib soon. She's regulating her own body temperature, breathing room air, and she is stable with no spells for the past while (knock on wood!).
Notice that she doesn't have her CPAP mask on? They did a 4 hr trial with no CPAP and no low-flow on her today and she tolerated well. She has an eye exam tomorrow, so they will try her on "as tolerated" on Tuesday. Keeping my fingers crossed! She doesn't seem to want her CPAP on anymore. The other morning, I checked on her and she was "satting" high, but her CPAP wasn't even on her! It was on her forehead! Oh, and she also found out how to do this new trick with her NG tube! She doesn't like having it in her anymore, so she pushes it out with her tongue! The nurse had to re-insert it three times the other day. I wonder if this is Little One's way of telling us that she is almost ready to go home!

Yes, I do have a lot to be thankful for.


t said...

oh chris, you know i told you yesterday that we would love for you to come spend christmas with us. that offer is always open but i know you said you wouldn't want to leave little one alone on christmas. sending hugs. call me ok?

Veronica said...

Just hugs from me today. I wish you happiness and good company for Christmas and hopefully a speedy journey home in the New Year.

J at said...

Is there still room at the McDonald house for you? It would be easier to be close to Little One, rather than having to travel so much...

I'm so sorry that you're all alone with so much pressure and stress right now! I know how that feels, sort of, and it's overwhelming. The most important things you can do right now are: 1. Take care of baby (you're doing AWESOME at that), 2. Take care of you. I know you're working hard at that, but it's so hard and complicated. And even if you do everything I've thought of, everything all of your friends have suggested, it's not going to be easy by any means.

I hope your husband can come and spend Christmas with you. I know that the weather has been horrible. I wish I could use a teleporter like in Star Trek and bring you and L.O. here, to experience the fun of our Christmas. There would be plenty of people to hug her up and give her love.

Hey, she's catching up with my birth weight (5lb, 3oz), and I went home only 2 weeks later. She'll get there soon. Until then, gosh, I'll be thinking of you. Please take some time out for yourself. You can't be strong for her if you're not strong.

I'm so impressed with her. She's amazing. She's working so hard. And I'm impressed with you! I agree with you that you're doing what any parent would do....but that doesn't take anything away from how amazing it is, and how hard it is, and how she probably won't understand until she has kids of her own (that's how it was for me), and then she'll be amazed at everything you went through.

Hugs to you, hon, and a nice bowl of Vietnamese hot and sour soup, with shrimp and pineapple in it. Mmmm.

merinz said...

I do hope that the weather doesn't prevent your husband from joining you at Christmas. I am feeling for you so much!.

I wonder if there is room at a place that is closer to the hospital for you as J suggested. Can the hospital social services people find out for you? After all, the welfare of the Mum is paramount to the baby's well being.

Am thinkin gof you at this time.

humpsNbump said...

Oh hun. I completely understand how hard it is to be without your hubby. If the weather does prevent your husband from coming into Toronto on Christmas, please let me know. I would love to come by to wish you and the little one a Merry Christmas. I know that you probably want to spend that day with your little girl.

Check your twitter account for my email and phone number.

XOXO humps.

caninecologne said...

hello c! how wonderful that your girl is breathing on her own! she's so adorable mask or no mask! and that yellow onesie! too cute! i hope that your husband will be able to spend Christmas with you and the baby.

hey, the word ver is:
ha ha

by the way, I am totally hooked on
"The Tudors"!!! Two words. Henry Cavill. OMFG - the man is HAWT!!! Yes, Stephenie Meyer's initial first choice for Edward Cullen (but he wasn't chosen because he was too old, 24 - and he had commitments to filming "The Tudors". This actor lost out on 3 iconic roles - Batman (to Christian Bale), Superman (Brandon Routh - but it's good Cavill didn't get it since Routh is now forgotten. That movie sucked), and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson - insert shriek here). Cavill was also in the running for Bond but wasn't chosen because he was too young. He's much better looking than that old toad, Daniel Craig. Well, just put a bag over his face (Craig) and carry on! Ha ha. Sorry so crude!

Trying to make you laugh ok?! :)

Karen MEG said...

Oh, C, she's getting soooo chubby! What a cutie!

Sorry, I've just been catching up with your blog and feel badly that I haven't commented. It's been a crazy, rough week, and it doesn't look like it will get any better, unfortunately.

But it's great that your mom is back from the Phillipines at least and that hubby will hopefuly be here for Christmas. The blue eyes are neat, aren't they? Little G kept her lighter eyes --- they were initially a light grey, but they've settled into a pretty hazel. Should be interesting to see how Little One's turn out... they'll probably be lighter than yours though.

Hugs to you... I'll e:mail you...

C said...

Hi! Will reply to comments in the AM :) I'm absolutely pooped! XOXO

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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