Tuesday, September 08, 2009

I Sat Down and Wept...Because I was Happy!


A year ago, Little One was still inside me. I was so excited to be approaching my third trimester. I couldn't wait to be as big as a house and to feel that baby in me kicking like crazy.

A year ago, around this time, the ultrasound technician spotted something during the ultrasound that sent me on weeks and weeks of bed rest. Bathroom privileges only. I'm so glad she caught that "problem". She noticed that my cervix had already effaced and that it was so thin that the baby could arrive any day. I was not even in my third trimester.

Today, I received my monthly newsletter from Mount Sinai Hospital. I also received a letter for donations. Whenever this time of the month rolls by, I get kind of weepy.

Had it not been for the technician on the Island catching the abnormally thin measurements from my ultrasound, and for my OB-GYN sending me to Toronto by air ambulance, and for the medical team at Mount Sinai taking such good care of us, Little One would not be here today.

Mount Sinai Hospital saved our baby's life.

My weeks in 7 South were filled with daily visits from doctors, nurses, specialists, and social workers. Everyone was there to take care of the baby and me, and prepare me of what was to come and what may come. The reality of having a baby born so early never really hit me. Perhaps I was in denial. Perhaps I just wanted to believe that everything would be okay. Perhaps I just knew that everything would be okay in the end. One can never tell.

After Little One made her dramatic entrance into the world, the weeks following her birth were the longest weeks I've ever experienced. The doctors, RTs and nurses in the NICU and Level II nursery took such good care of Little One. From being a tiny 980 g baby at birth, she was well over 5 lbs when she was ready to come home. She went from having all the leads hooked up onto her, an NG tube to feed her, and CPAP to nothing at all!

I am forever grateful and indebted to Mount Sinai. Whenever that letter for donations comes around, I have to say "OF COURSE!!! It's because of you that our daughter is here with us today! Of course we will support you!".

Of course, when I think of my time on bed rest and my time visiting Little One in the hospital every day after she was born until we finally got to take her home, I think of the friends and family who supported me through that very challenging time.

Thank you, a million times over! I have to thank my aunt and uncle for letting me stay at their house and for being so good to me for the two months Little One was in the NICU. Thank you to Gavie's Gal, Nathanial's Mommy, FancyPantsyMomma, Humps n Bump, AvoidEverything, and so many other good friends for coming in to visit the baby and me, have a meal with me, sit with me, and just be there for me. Thank you to Merinz, Ms.Mamma, TellingMom for your phone calls. Thank you to everyone who sent prayers, positive thoughts, e-mail, cards, and letters. Thank you for everything. With friends like you, I'll always be rich.

On an entirely separate note, Little One had her very fist experience with clay today! Tired from a very busy Labour Day weekend, Little One and I took it easy today. Our beautiful friend, S came over with potter's clay and all the tools for making something to put Little One's hand and foot prints on.I commented on how quickly Little One is growing and how her tiny hands are no longer tiny anymore! Well, if you consider the fact that her hands were the same size as my husband's thumb nail when she was born! Her hands were tiny at birth! She was tiny at birth!

S suggested capturing her imprint in clay to remember how little she was. What a great idea!
Seeing my beautiful, healthy, thriving, funny, curious little girl just makes me cry...because we are so blessed to have her in our lives. She really is a beautiful, bright ray of sunshine.

19 comments:

Dina said...

what a beautiful post.
i was approached recently to donate something to MSH. I of course thought of you and reached into my pocket to give. i wish i could afford to give more.

i can't wait to see how the clay imprints turn out! We tried to make one of Elie's foot but it came out kind of 'eh...and the one of Mikayla's hands and feet came out a little better but still kind of 'eh...

hotmommy said...

crap chris! this post made me cry! she really is a beautifull little miracle!

robert said...

'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.'
(Sir Winston Churchill - who received even a nobel price)

As I am not able to provide you with this honour, would like to ask you to visit next Saturday instead.
Until then please have a nice time, many greetings.

Barbara said...

such a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing your little one with all of us, such a blessing for all.

Peace!

C said...

Dina:
Thank you! I was JUST thinking of you today! I was thinking of the times you came by the hospital to see me while LO was in the NICU. It really means a lot to me and I am so thankful to have you in my life.

We've come a long way, haven't we? From twenty-something year old roomies to moms and wives. Love you lots, D!

C said...

HM:
:) Thank you! She is a miracle...and in so many ways!

C said...

Robert:
Thank you so much! I was just over at your blog, btw. I love that beautiful sunset photo you posted. Absolutely breathtaking.

C said...

Barbara:
Thank you for your wonderful comments...and for popping by the blog! :)

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

What beautiful pictures. I love this post, and how far you've come since last year. I remember being so scared for you when you went on bed rest, so worried when you went in the hospital, so worried again when she was born and yet so young.

And then when it started to look (to me) like she was going to be OK, but you were pulled SO thin, back and forth between the hospital and the house, and your husband lonely and worried and working so hard on the Island, I started to think ahead to that time when she would be OK, and when that horrid, stressful, scary time when you were all trying so hard to figure out what was the best thing to do, day by day, and just wanting to be home together....there were so many of us out here in the bloggy world, wanting you to be home where you belonged. Wanting you to be together and out of the danger of the moment, and worrying about dishes and a good night's sleep instead of your darling baby's health. We all wanted that so much.

So now, now that you're there, finally, and you've been there awhile, and can just relax into the normal stress of a healthy baby and family and friends and stress and joy, we are all of us just *so* glad.

wife-turned-farmer said...

OK, this made me cry, and it usually takes a lot to do that!! You and your hubby have truly been blessed with this beautiful little miracle girl. God must have been smiling the day she was born because she is perfect! I love the idea of clay imprints. I'd love to see how they turned out sometime.
Give LO a squeeze for me! And one for you too!!

Debbie said...

What a miracle to have your story turn out with such a happy ending. And a truly inspired idea to get her handprints!

Jackie said...

now i am balling my eyes out.... i thought i had it tough to do IVF, but man, you went thru something and came back!

we really have to meet... any chance a tues or thurs would work for you?

C said...

J:
Thank you, thank you, thank you...for your comments, messages and e-mail while I was going through all of that. You guys were there through it all. The leading up to the pregnancy, the pregnancy, the complications, the bed rest, the preterm birth...

Thank you for helping me get through everything. As odd as it may sound, but having access to the blog from my hospital bed was part of what kept me going. Knowing that there were people sending positive thoughts, well wishes, magical baby dust, prayers, and what have you...it all helped me through everything I was going through.

I remember your comments in particular. You always seemed to know just the right things to say. XOXO

C said...

Wife-Turned-Farmer:
LOL! I *was* going to use "WTF" to address you, since your blog name is so long, but "WTF" stands for something else! LOL!

Thank you for your comment. I was thinking about you today, actually! I was going to give you a call. Hope things are going well where you are. I guess even with T back in school, things still aren't slowing down for you, eh?

I got a call from the lady who organizes the Toy Library on the Island, and she was telling me the dates for play groups. I am tempted to take LO so she can socialize with other babies...but more for me to meet other moms! Then I turned back into my paranoid self and thought of all the germs and icky stuff that can get passed around in play groups if toys aren't cleaned properly...and with H1N1 being a concern...

LOL! I know! Paranoid! Though LO seems to have a very strong immune system, she's a preemie. I don't know...

C said...

Debbie:
So true! Sometimes I think of all the things that *could have* happened or could have went wrong with her being born almost 3 months early. It scares me to think of what could have happened. I am constantly in awe of her. She really is a miracle!

C said...

Jackie:
Okay, your comment just made me cry! Yes, we do have to meet up soon! It's been so crazy busy lately, but I'm sure that we can arrange something for a Tues or Thurs soon! Our visit is soooo overdue!!!

humpsNbump said...

This post made my emotional. Thanks so much for sharing how you're feeling. I can't believe that a year has already passed. It was a year ago that I sat at home reading your blog and your tweets. I was expecting my "Baby". I remember when you told all of us that you were helicoptered into Toronto. Crazy!

Little One is a miracle. So happy to have met her. :)

Love ya.
humps

Fruitful Vine2 said...

Cry my dear, cry. Tears of joy are to be shed at anytime. Enjoy the blessing of your little one and Praise God for the miracle He worked to bring her here.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Oh now that is such a great idea! How did you hear about it?

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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