Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Nesting Dolls

The soft light of the sun filtering through the filmy white curtains in our temporary room caused Little One to stir in the morning.  Our morning routine while in San Jose would be getting up early, having a Filipino breakfast prepared by great-lola's helpers, showering, and getting ready for our commute to a neighbouring city to visit great-lola in the hospital.

At the time, my mom, aunts and I were pretty much on auto-pilot.  We were just living day to day, traveling by jeepney (and sometimes out of the kindness of loved ones, by vehicle) to and from the hospital.

Thinking about our experience, I now wonder what exactly was going through the mind of my three year old.  The extreme heat of the Philippines, the heavy smell of diesel...the sights and scents were totally foreign to my little girl.  Being dragged around to spend her days in the hospital, and hearing a language foreign to her didn't really seem to faze her at all. She was a trooper and happily went about doing her thing.

After long days at the hospital, Little One would often explore great-lola's beautiful house and find treasures.

She took these back to Canada with her to remember great-lola.
Today, I caught Little One sobbing into her pillow. The tears streamed down her cheeks as she cried, "I don't want great-lola to be dead!"

I noticed that she was clutching onto the Nesting Dolls she brought back from the Philippines. They were a gift one of my aunts had given my grandmother. My aunt, having worked for Air Canada for many years, often brought back trinkets from her travels. These are the only tangible items Little One has to remember her great-grandmother by. It surprised me how one so young could comprehend so much and feel so much. It brought tears to my eyes.

The odd thing is that no one had even spoken about my grandmother passing away and Little One just burst out into tears, hugging the wooden nesting dolls.

Ironically, today my Grandmother would have turned 92 years old.  It still breaks my heart to think I'll never again be able to hold her hand or hear her tell her stories of life in the Philippines.

Still missing you, great-lola.


Brandi Yee said...

Awwwww! This brought tears to my eyes. Thinking of you guys! She must have been an amazing lady and how thoughtful that your little girl holds her so dearly to her heart. Sometimes we don't realize what our kids are absorbing without us knowing. xo!

Julia said...

Manymany hugs to you and little one today and always

Multi-Testing Mommy said...

Big hugs, sweetheart! Big hugs!

Christine said...

Thanks so much, friend :)

All choked up :( Miss her so much.

Christine said...

Thank you so much. I really need those hugs today :( xo

Christine said...

Thank you! Each day, I think I'm okay...but today being her birthday makes it even more difficult. Keep wondering how long it will take for the heart to mend.

Gingermommy said...

These are beautiful. Love the classic simple toys for children

Elizabeth FrugalMomEh said...

You weren't lying in your tweet - this was a real tear jerker! :(

Denise G said...

aww that must have been hard for you to watch your little girl cry missing her (((hugz))) to you both

J at said...

Oh Chrissy, such a lovely post. I'm so sorry you lost your beloved Grandmother, and that Little One is missing her too. I am SO glad that you got to go and see her before she died, even though that must have been painful to see her that way. And I'm glad that L.O. was able to see her and experience that other world, even if she doesn't remember it anymore by the time she's an adult. She has a big heart.

Julia M. C-G said...

Thinking of you and your sweet little one. It's hard. So hard. I have such trouble explaining death to my little ones too. I wish you rest, a comfort food, and some time to just switch gears and be in your thoughts with your grandma today. Hugs, J

Fab Frugal Mama said...

Children amaze me every day. They are so tuned-in, even when we think they're not cognizant of what's going on around them. Your little one obviously loved her great-lola very much, and it's a great reminder every day of her enduring love for all of you. Sending hugs your way...

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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