Friday, November 13, 2009

Mommies Helping Mommies

We never realize how life is for others until we've walked a mile in their shoes.

I'll admit it. There are days when I feel like I am going bonkers and it's not just because I have a little one to take care of all day. If all I had to do was to take care of my baby, I'd be a fine. It's just all the other things that need to get done that pushes me to my limits of what I can handle. There's the constant cleaning, the never ending pile of dishes (what on earth?! I just did dishes! How is it possible that they just multiplied!?!), laundry, laundry, laundry, farm related work, work that I need to get done on the side so I can earn a bit of money in between taking care of the baby and going back to teaching ESL...

It just gets so overwhelming and so exhausting to the point where sometimes I don't know how mothers do it.

Then I think of my sister-in-law. She's got a two year old and nine month old twins!

I didn't so much as walk a mile in her shoes, but I walked with her this week.

Lele and the kids came up to the Island for the week. Just for a change of scenery and to spend time with the grandparents too. Lele and I had the whole bath and feeding thing down to an exact science. It was really impressive, if I do say so myself.
We totally rocked the taking care of twin nine month olds, a newly twelve month old (nine month old corrected), and a two year old. Feedings ran without a hitch. Talk about organized! Bath time was also smooth sailing since I bathed the babies and Lele dried, diapered and dressed them.

This week was great for me because I'm usually alone with Little One. Little One had a great time playing with her cousins this week too. Having my sister-in-law around was fantastic company and I needed that.
For her, it was a little break and company too. She's with her three kids all day too and with very young twins and a toddler, it's not that easy for her to get out of the house with the kids much. I didn't realize how challenging things were for her until this week. She is such a good mom that she makes it look easy, but seeing things in person for a week really showed me how drained she really is.

I kind of feel guilty feeling exhausted with one baby and all the other craziness of the farm and everything else. By the way, the silly cows were out again this week. They were out almost every day! I give up! Anyway, we all got sick after Little One's birthday party. Sick babies = no sleep for mommies!Twin A (Olala) wasn't feeling well and vomited twice this week. It was the weirdest thing. We were all at the breakfast table and all three babies were just about done eating, when Olala just spewed all over the place. It was unreal! Almost right out of a movie! The amount of baby vomit and the RANGE almost looked like it had to be fake! The funny thing was that her twin, Brookie was facing her when she had her moment of projectile vomit. She's also been exceptionally clingy. I feel sorry for babies when they're sick. They're just so sad looking. It's heart breaking! Because Olala hasn't been feeling well, she's been more of a challenge for her mom. Kenny (the two year old) has been very busy and non-stop "I want juice!", "I hungry! I hungry! I hungry!" and "Play with ME!" lately. Luckily, Brookie (Twin B) has been fine. She's such a happy baby too. I can see how my SIL is getting worn out and just plain drained.

If anything, mommies need to help each other in any way we can. Being a mom is not an easy thing and if you are fortunate to have people around who can help you, then accept the help. Even if it means visiting your loved ones for a few days or a week! Though I'm alone with Little One all the time and Hubby does not spend much time at home because of work, I am lucky to be able to take Little One out a lot. She's a great traveler and an easy baby. She goes everywhere with me. We go to the farmers' markets in the summer, the beach, grocery store, play dates, etc. I need that kind of socialization. I need to get out of the house every once in a while. If all I did was stay at home and take care of the baby, the house, and help Hubby on the farm and that's it, I'd seriously go insane. I love being able to be here for all of my daughter's firsts, but I'm also glad that I'll be taking on ESL students again soon.

Sometimes a mom just needs a little break.

Lele and I were praying wishing hoping for at least a little break this week. We were kind of looking forward to maybe going out for lunch for once or even going to the Chocolate Works! Of course, that didn't happen. A little break would have been nice. Maybe next time.

Hopefully, the past week at the farm helped (despite us all getting sick). I had lots of fun with Lele, the twins and Kenny. I can't believe they're going back to Kingston tomorrow! If this week didn't make my SIL feel a bit better, I hope that the mojitos I made us did! ;)


J at said...

This is a lovely post. And exactly why the so-called "mommy wars" suck so badly. The stupid judging over breastfeeding, immunizations, stay at home, work at home, work at office, baby wearing, co sleeping, spanking, not spanking, meals with kids, etc. etc. etc. We all come down on one side of many of these battles. Some of us come down fairly strongly on some of these battles. But even so, we need to support each other and encourage each other to do well, because being a mom is incredibly rewarding, but also, incredibly HARD and exhausting. Even if the only support we can lend each other is emotional, we should do it. And if we can do more, like take a turn babysitting, or bringing a meal to a family member, we should do it.

C said...

Oh my goodness! Your comment was what I wanted this post to say! I was too tired to write a good post though.

You are sooooo right. The way I see it, us mommies are all in this together and we need to be there for each other and support each other.

It is so hard sometimes and even just having another person to vent to can do so much.

I totally agree with what you just said about the stupid judging about everything. It's ridiculous. As if there weren't enough things to stress a mom out! :)

Sometimes we just need to be there for each other, laugh with each other, and cry with each other. A little bit of all of that can really make a big difference and help us from getting pushed to our limits :)

I never really knew what my sister-in-law had to go through every single day. Her kids are amazing. They are so cute and so smart and lovable. They just demand all of her and there's only one of her and three of them. It wasn't until this past week of her being at our farm that I saw/experienced what she goes through. Man, it's rough. Makes me kind of feel like a jerk sometimes for thinking that I'm stressed/exhausted/freaked out with just one baby :) Makes me realize how we are all going through "stuff".

My sister-in-law is amazing. She does such a great job with the twins and her 2 yr old. At the same time, I can see how being back at work in January might feel like less work in a way. Know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

As a father I'd like to say that I do loved to read your post very much, and that it is me who sleeps less than six hours per night for the last two years ;-)
A wonderful week for all of you.

C said...

I had to smile when I read your comment. I love hearing about Dads spending lots of time with their little ones and love it even more when I hear that they lack sleep too :)

humpsNbump said...

Did you say that your SIL has a two year old and nine month old twins. Oh my goodness. I can't imagine what that would be like. Plus Little One and both of you have your hands full. I have NOTHING to complain about! :)

You're right that moms have to stick together. It's great that you had a chance to walk in each other's shoes.

~ humps

Calfkeeper said...

Glad you had a great visit with them. You are right, it's no picnic with kids, mom or dad may you be.

Sometimes I struggle too, but I just let go what I can't get done and go on with it.

Love all the pics of the babies, too cute!

C said...

I know. I keep telling myself that when I have my moments when things seem so challenging. It's hard to tell myself that I have nothing to complain about though! LOL! I seem to be able to find a few things! ;) xo

C said...

I should take a leaf out of your book. I really need to work on letting go of what I can't get done and just move on with things. That is one of the biggest things I struggle with. I try to do everything all the time and as a result I end up stressing myself out. Must work on that.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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