Thursday, November 03, 2011

NaBloPoMo Day 3: Stress

ArtsyTeacherMom: Holy ****! Were you always this stressed out when you lived in the city? You're a pretty high strung person, eh?

Me: Hmm...Not really. At least I don't think so. In the city, I just commuted to work, taught all day, went to the gym, had dinner, and did the same thing over again the next day. Now, I have to take care of every fricken thing in this house, raise a child, work, help on the farm, and did I mention deal with a toddler who is really testing my patience these days? If I don't pick up after everyone, stuff just stays on the floor for days. If I don't do the dishes, they'll stay there forever. Now, look! The kids are fighting!

ArtsyTeacherMom: Will you just sit down? Relax! Have a visit. Sit! The kids are fine playing. You don't have to watch them all the time. I swear, you're always on them. Just chill.

Me: I guess you're right.

To be honest, I never used to think I was a walking ball of stress. In the past few years though, everything stresses me out. Everything.

I hate it when things are missing or misplaced. Missing caps on markers? That drives me nuts! Missing puzzle pieces or parts of toys? They make me crazy. My toddler rearranging furniture or pulling DVDs off the shelf and scattering them? Aaargh!

I know I really need to learn  how to pick and choose my battles. I honestly don't know why these things bother me so much. I wish I could be a bit more like my friend, ArtsyTeacherMom and be more relaxed. I'm jealous. I cannot stand laundry piled up or on the floor. Dishes in the sink or food on the kitchen counter just sends me off the edge.

It's not just the mess people in this household leave for me that stresses me out. It's the doing everything else too. Check this out!
Old fashioned apple press! We made 16 litres of apple juice in one afternoon. Why? Well, I guess that's the way we do things on the farm. In the country, people make things from scratch. More work on top of everything we do already. I could understand making everything from scratch when that was one's livelihood or because one didn't get much at the grocery store and had to make everything from scratch. However, doing all of that on top of working is hard!

Right. The other thing I have a hard time with is dealing with a whiny toddler. She's great. She really is. I love her to bits. It's just that lately, she has started to whine when she's frustrated, tired, impatient, or doesn't get what she wants. It is so draining. The sound of crying or whining kids just sets something off inside me and drives me crazy. I feel awful saying it, but it's true.

Drives. Me. Crazy.

I need to do something about this crazy anxiety.  Who cares if Little One mushed up all the colours of her Play Doh and turned it into what looks like a huge ball of poop? I don't know why it irritates me so much when Little One mixes Play Doh colours. It really, really bothers me!
As my husband says, "She's only two." Actually, she'll be three next week! Eeeek!

She is a cutie. I love her so much.
She does the wackiest things like dressing up as a chicken when it's not even Halloween and having tea parties with her stuffed cow. Yes, she does this on a daily basis.

She cracks me up when she does things like "nurses" her stuffed bunny!
 It makes me feel like the world's crappiest mom when I get upset, impatient, or frustrated. I mean, how can one get upset at someone so cute??

I've devised a plan to help me be more patient and not stress about the little things.

1. If I start to feel like a panic attack is on its way, take a few deep breaths before I react. Walk away if I have to.

2. At the end of the day, have a cup of tea and some quiet time.

3. Ask for help. It's something I have a hard time doing. I don't like to ask for help and try to do everything on my own. Sometimes though, asking for help may be what keeps one from going bonkers though. There is no weakness in telling people you need a  hand. I sometimes feel like I'm doing too much, but need to get everything done on my own. Whatever can't be finished today can be done tomorrow.

4. Make sure to have cuddle time with toddler.

Sorry for the rant. Guess it's been "one of those days"!

Question of the day: 
What stresses you out? What do you do to cope with the stress?


Frau Guten Tag said...

I always read your blogs too, bit dont always leave comments. :)

I sooo hear ya. I am very OCD. I make lots of stuff from scratch (partly to save money & partly cuz its healthier). And I have a very whiney toddler.

I try really hard to not impose my OCD on my toddler. Although I must say my hubby is also OCD & we do already see signs of it in our toddler.

But every nIght after hes in bed I HAVE to put all his toys away & Lord help me if I cant find something-a full on search ensues. And yes I count each tou car & truck & choo choo, etc. I just cant seem to stop. Ho hum.

I have just very recently started a new rule where if toddler is whining he has to go to the bedroom & he jas to stay there until his attitude changes & whining has stopped. I often feel myself getting stressed out & I then come to the realization that its his whining thats doing it & so then I semd him to the bedroom & take deep breaths. So far its working pretty well.

I am grateful that my hubby is OCD, he doesnt create messes, but my stepkids sure do, especially the 24 year old. You wouldnt even believe me if I went into detail on how bad it is.

C said...

Scary how similar you and I are! I count all of Little One's toys before bed too. *sigh*

As for the homemade food. I actually enjoy making it. I like knowing exactly what goes into our food. My MIL makes her own butter, yogurt, bread...everything!!!

C said...

Do your stepkids live at home with you?

Frau Guten Tag said...

Yeah, I do actually enjoy making things from scratch. I've been doing that since I was a teenager. I would eat something & want to know how to make it myself. It's so much easier today with the internet (recipes everywhere & youtube instructional videos, etc).

BUT I do sometimes find myself looking at my neighbors (who almost NEVER cook, always eat out or take out or fast food or frozen prepared meals at best) & I find myself a tad envious of how much free time they have because of it.

But I do believe I'm doing the right thing & so does my hubby. (he cooks too, he handles his breakfast & my stepson's breakfast & sometimes on the weekend he makes me & J breakfast too--he was a single dad for a lot of years so he does know how to cook & he cooks good, not just "getting by" type of cooking).

Yes, my stepkids live with us. The 17 year old really isn't all that bad, considering he's not OCD. My issue is that he refuses to help out in the kitchen (trust me, Lil J will helping in the kitchen just as soon as he's old enough, LOL), it feels like he thinks we're his personal slaves sometimes. The 24 year old is like a hurricaine though, it's totally ridiculous. I swear sometimes I think she does it on purpose but she's always been that way & her mother is that way as well. Her bedroom is a disaster area always--about every 6 months she will spend 3-4 days cleaning it all up & in 2 days it's right back where it was. It's truly unbelievable.

If she's in the bathroom it's guaranteed the floor will be a lake, the mirror will be spattered, there will be toothpaste EVERYWHERE, the towels will be all messed up, etc. If she's in the kitchen I guarantee food all over the floor, counters. She often makes herself a quesadilla--there will be cheese all over the griddle, stove, counter, floor, etc. And the laundry? I can do laundry without spilling a drop of detergent or softener, but she spills it all over the washer & overfills the drawer where it's running all down the front of the washer & onto the floor. And she will never, ever clean up after herself. I could go on & on with examples like that.

A lot of things have changed with her since last summer, for the worse. She actually hardly ever comes home anymore, she has decided she hates her father (& probably me too). Of course this infuriates me as well because Lil J is still in our bedroom, we don't have another bedroom & she's just using her room like a storage unit while she lives like a gypsy out of friend's apartments & wherever else she is. It makes us sad & upset at the same time. But I know it's much harder on my hubby than it is on me.

But it's now where she demands that her father not tell her ANYTHING. She goes on & on that she is an adult & doesn't want him telling her stuff. For example, the one day hubby was in the garage, on the phone. And she went to get her laundry out of the dryer & she dropped underwear on the floor. Hubby motioned to her #1 in case she wasn't aware, but #2 because he had put boric acid on the floor to keep water bugs out of the garage & you don't want that on your UNDERWEAR!! Instead of being grateful she blew up & told him he's always criticizing here & telling her what to do. It's truly heart breaking.

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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