Friday, May 28, 2010

If This Doesn't Give Me A Heart Attack, I Don't Know What Will!

I had just gotten home from work, the baby was miserable from heat exhaustion, we still had a lot of work to do on the farm and on the house, and did I mention that it's been sweltering hot here? It's unusual for this time of the year. I don't do well in extreme heat. I've learned that Little One doesn't either. She doesn't seem to be able to regulate her body temperature well and on her own yet. Poor thing. She was listless, weak, miserable and clingy. All traits that are very uncommon for her.

The phone rang.

Me: Hello?
Man: Hello. Good afternoon. May I speak with Ms. [insert my real name here], please?
Me: (All of a sudden feeling nervous for some unknown reason) This is she.
Man: Ms. [insert my real name here], I'm with Revenue Canada and we would like to conduct an audit on Tuesday.

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I don't know why, but I started to panic. Revenue Canada has absolutely no reason to audit us, so I don't know why I reacted that way.

Me: Oh? Ummm...okay.
Man: We will come by on Tuesday of next week. We will be sending a team of nine men and we'll need to see all of your farm books. Does Tuesday work for you?
Me: (checking the calendar) Hmmm...Tuesday? What's the date?

Man: [insert my real name here], I'm kidding! It's [insert friend's name here]!!!

Right about then, I hear a SMACK! Apparently, my friend's wife didn't think that was a funny joke and hit him upside the head!

Can I tell you how freaked out I was?! I don't know why though. We are law-abiding citizens. We do things "by the book" all the time. I'm afraid to break rules. I blame it on my Roman Catholic upbringing. You know, that Roman Catholic guilt where if you do anything you're not supposed to, you'll be punished severely for it? Yeah, that guilt.

Thank goodness it was just a joke. Man, I don't know if I'd have all our books ready for an audit if we had one on Tuesday! I almost had a heart attack.

What's the best prank a friend has ever played on you?


Crystal said...

Actually, when my husband and I were dating he slipped a dead snake into the glove box then asked me to open it when we I got in the truck. Of, course my reaction was to freak out when I discovered it. He laughed for a long time. Surprises you what a 19 year old boy thinks is funny! Do they ever grow up? I don't think so. Glad to hear you don't have to worry about getting audited

J at said...

I don't think you have to have anything to hide in order to dread an audit. Audits are supposed to be incredibly painful, no matter what. So I'm very glad it's a joke.

C said...

LOL! Oh my goodness! I would have freaked! I'm scared of snakes...and bugs...and everything creepy crawly! LOL! Ha! And, I now live in the country where there are lots of creepy crawly things!

Your hubby is a practical joker! That's hilarious! Does he still do things like that? Too funny! :)

C said...

Yes, I think you're absolutely right. Just the thought of having to haul out all the paperwork is stressful enough!

Karen MEG said...

I was laughing at the SMACK!!!!

I would react the same as you - it must be a Roman Catholic thing. We have audits at work as well, so maybe it's a work thing too ;)!

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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