Sunday, November 16, 2008

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

Today wasn't as bad as yesterday or the day before. Leaving my baby at the hospital at end of the day was hard but not nearly as emotional as the first day I was discharged from the hospital without my baby. I think mostly because I am just plain exhausted. My life right now is basically pumping milk for the baby, commuting to the hospital and back, spending time with the baby in the NICU and doing it all over again.

Our little one continues to amaze me. I simply cannot believe she is already 5 days old! She was inside me five days ago! I was just getting used to all the crazy kicking and moving around (this kid was so active in the womb and is so active outside of the womb)! I was anticipating being hugely pregnant but never had a chance to get that big. She just came so fast! 28 weeks!

Today, she had her eyes opened and whenever I spoke she would look in my direction. I know babies this young can't really see anything (except for probably a blurry outline of shapes or something), but she would look in my direction. She reacts when I sing to her. When I was pregnant, I used to sing all the time. I'd sing French songs in the shower and today when I sang a few French songs to her, she would suck rapidly and clutch onto my finger with her tiny hand.

My little girl amazes me. She is so sweet. I broke down today when I realized that "Oh my goodness! I've got a daughter!!!". It just hit me today. I think everything that has happened this week was just overwhelming and I'm overly tired and still very hormonal. The nurse told me to go home and sleep. The good thing is that even if I go home around supper time, I can call the NICU at any hour of the day or night and the nurse will keep me posted on how the little one is doing.

Thank you all for being so supportive. It really means a lot to us. I PROMISE to e-mail and check out some of your blogs (and leave comments) SOON. Things have just been so crazy here. I promise I'll be less of a negligent daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, sister, friend, teacher, wife, and blog friend. Right now it's been all about the baby. Hopefully I'll settle into some kind of schedule soon. I just don't like leaving my baby at the end of the day. THAT is the hardest thing.

Thank you to some of you who have suggested nicknames for the babe. I don't want to use her real name on the blog. I don't use real names for any of my friends, family or students on here. If you've got some other suggestions for nicknames, let me know :)

So far we have:
*Birdie (suggested by Sharon)
*Star, Jaime (J'aime), Cara - beloved, (or Kara), Bella (suggested by Gadget Girl)
*Little One (my suggestion)
*Junior (Hubby's suggestion)

More photos to be posted soon. Now I think I need to get some sleep. *sigh* It's only 6:30 PM!


Erin said...

I came over here from Sharon's blog, and I just wanted to say that your little girl is gorgeous (and I love the nickname Birdie for a little girl who was an early bird!). And you are a trooper for pumping and singing and doing all that you can to take care of her. I know how frustrating and uncomfortable pumping can be, but it is SO worth it.

J at said...

I'm so happy that you're relaxing a bit. So happy that your little one is doing so well.

Don't worry about blogging (our blogs), sistering, daughtering, wifing, anything else. Right now, your most important job is mom. Take care of your beautiful daughter, and take good care of yourself. You'll be back to having many hats soon enough!

mrinz said...

You just go and sleep Chrissy - don't worry about all of us - your main obligation is to your little daughter. We are all adults, she needs you to be in good health and rested.

Two Maori name suggestions - your little Aroha(love)or Marama (light of the world, moon)

Veronica said...

I'm also going to tell you not to worry about our blogs! Just concentrate on yourself and your little one.

Sharon - Mom Generations said...

I think Little One is just about as perfect as your Little One's name can be! You get some rest... and give your Little One some hugs and kisses for us too!

Nadine said...

I came by from Sharon's blog. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I pray that this time would go quickly for you and that you both will be able to return home.

C said...

Thank you for popping by :) Isn't Sharon the greatest?

Birdie is cute for an early bird! I agree!

One of the things that I worried about with my daughter being a preemie is that I thought I might not be able to breastfeed her and that is something I was adamant about. At least with the pumping I can feed my milk to her via a tube until she is ready to breast feed. I hope she latches!

C said...

I think the initial shock of the whole unexpected birth and all the other emotional stuff with hubby going back home and us staying in Toronto just wore me out. I fell asleep in the NICU while spending time with the baby. I am just plain drained and exhausted.

I did get a chance to have some down time though. I went out with my cousins and their spouses for Thai food after spending the day in the NICU with the baby yesterday.

I think Fancy Pantsy Momma and I are going to try to see "Twilight" next week. The funny thing is that when I was on hospital bed rest for the pregnancy, I was bummed about missing "Twilight". Now I get to see it. Weird.

jan said...

I'm sure there will be a roller coaster of emotions you will be going through, but you are really handling this difficult time very well.

My granddaughter's name is Alia (pronounced Al-LEE-uh) short, simple and somewhat unusual, like your daughter.

C said...

Thank you :) Have I told you how much I luv you??? You are so sweet. Oh, and I LOVE those Maori names! So beautiful!

C said...

Thank you :) I still remember a few weeks ago when I told you about my bed rest during pregnancy and how I was told I'd probably deliver any day but was insistent that I'd deliver to week 32 at least! Remember? Wow. I can't believe she arrived at week 28. *sigh*

C said...

I cannot thank you enough for all your positive thoughts and wonderful notes. You don't know just how much you've helped me out through this. Thank you so much. XOXO

C said...

Thank you for popping by. I just love Sharon. She is wonderful, isn't she?

Thanks for the positive thoughts. I know I need to take things one day at a time, but I really do hope the weeks/months pass by quickly. I just want my baby girl to grow, be healthy and return to the Island so we can be with my husband again. Being 6 hrs away is so hard. At least she's in one of the best hospitals in Toronto (and in Canada).

C said...

I was warned by the doctors and nurses that this will be a roller coaster ride. I wish my husband were here to go on that roller coaster ride with me. I have my moments of being cool, calm and collected. I have my moments of being elated. I also have my moments of being upset with having to leave her at the hospital and not be with her all the time. I also worry about her health and development. The docs say she's doing great. I am keeping positive and know she is in the best hands right now. The doctors and nurses at Mt. Sinai are miracle workers. They truly are.

Shannon said...

I'm with your hubby. Junior has always been her nickname...
Get some sleep, and enjoy your time with your little one :)

Autumn's Mom said...

aww I still like junior ;) Right now the most important thing is taking care of your daughter and yourself. Taking a little time for you, like going to the movies (yay for Twilight!) will do you good :) Thinking of you and hubby. Hope he's doing ok, I'm sure he's missing his girls :)

Deb said...

hmmm. I like birdie too. Reminds me of Birdie Calvert from Hope Floats. She was a fighter. I also like Little Bit.

Get some rest, miss C. You are an awesome mom!

Rosie : ) said...

You BETTER NOT show up at my blog! You go and get some sleep, girl.

As for baby names, well, you know I'll suggest something French. ;)
Bella is a gorgeous name, because she is absolutely gorgeous. I love Aimée too, because she is so very loved. You could always name her for something in nature, since you both love nature so much. A type of flower you love {she is so tiny, like a little flower} or even a tree in another language {she is such a sturdy fighter}. Once you've had some sleep, you can look at wonderful sites with baby names, or rifle through some baby name books.

I think my best suggestion is to look at her and try out different ones. You'll know when it's her's;)

Cherry said...

Please tell me you are getting some sleep. You totally need sleep and a bit of a break. I know that may sound like a horrid thing because of course you want to be there, and bond and simply stare at her every moment you can, but you really do need some rest. Even if she were home we'd all tell you to rest :-)

I love that you're going to be able to go see Twilight! That'll be a good night out.
And also very good that you have been able to pump. I know things didn't turn out exactly as you had planned, but from what I hear, kids don't really work that way ;-)

I am a fan of Birdie, but like everyone says, Junior has been her name for months now. Junior is a unique nickname for a girl. I just think that Birdie can stick with her on the blog for quite a while and well you know, its just fitting.

Get some rest! And I hope your hubby is doing well and will get to come back to Toronto soon. I can only imagine how tough all of this is.

BTW - can I send you stuff in Toronto? email me (you know, when you aren't resting, pumping or being with your sweet baby) :-)

BlondeLittleShit said...

I don't know why but Birdie just sings to me...haha no pun intended. But I must say Jr. has been her blog name since the beginning. Or perhaps one of the word verifications would be a good nickname...mine today is, avings (just a thought) Sending love and positive vibes your way!

Justagirl said...

It must be so hard leaving such a precious little thing behind. I can literally feel your pain. I'm newly pregnant and severly hormonal, so reading your blog made my heart hurt for you. It must be so hard on you. HOWEVER, you seem like a really strong woman that will pull through this even stronger. In a year, you'll look back at all your struggles (emotionally and physically) and you will see that little one growing and thriving and you'll think, "It was so worth it!" Anyways, I'm newly pregnant, like I said, and we don't know the sex of my baby yet, so I've been calling the baby thus far, "Little Star." Madonna wrote a song to Lourdes when she was born called "Little Star," and I think it's the best song by far that Madonna ever wrote. You can check out my blog to hear the song right now if you've never heard it before...since I've been hormonal and having complications I put it on my page as the main song.

Momisodes said...

Oh C, I'm so sorry you had to leave without her. I just know that must have been so difficult, even if you already knew she would have to stay there.

That is wonderful she is looking over at the sound of your voice. I am SURE she recognizes it :) She's heard it for several months now. I love the nickname suggestions.

Please take care of you, and know that you are all in my thoughts. Especially your sweet little girl.

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About the Blog Author

City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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