Wednesday, November 26, 2008

When it rains, it pours

I came home from the hospital a lot earlier than normal because I think the exhaustion of having just had a baby (very prematurely!), having to deal with her being in the NICU and having to commute over an hour to and an hour from the hospital every day and be there all day has finally hit.

As if that weren't enough to deal with, Hubby and I were talking on the phone and I discovered some terrible news. At first, I was really excited that Hubby will be coming to Toronto to be with the baby and me this weekend. He commented on how I sound like I'm in much better spirits today.

...Then I asked him a question I didn't want to know the answer to. My dad e-mailed me to tell me that he discovered something gruesome behind our house when he went to visit my husband. My beloved feline baby, Trouble had gotten stuck on the barb wire fence (his collar got snagged and he probably struggled to free himself) and died. I asked Hubby if it was true and he hesitated to answer at first.

I cried and cried when he confirmed the news. For people who don't have pets, it may not seem like a big deal. It may even seem silly to some people if they hear that a grown woman would cry because her cat died. My pets have been my first babies and hearing the news was pretty traumatic.

Trouble was indeed a trouble maker, but he was a really loving and affectionate cuddle monster. I'm really sorry that he had to pass away the way he did. I will really miss our cuddle time. He was definitely the most affectionate cat I've ever had. We'll miss you, Trouble. Thank you for bringing love and joy into our house and in our hearts. I will always remember the way you snuggled up on my lap and purred really loudly every chance you got. You always loved to be held.

The crazy thing is that I don't know if I can ever have pets again. If something were to happen to Spike or Chance, I think I'd have to never ever get another pet again. The pain and heartbreak are just too much to endure. I honestly don't think I'm strong enough to deal with things like this.


japanmanpete said...

Blimey! It's just been a rough go for you all around, mate!

Chin up. Things will get better. Sorry about your cat.


Dina said...

i was so sorry to hear that your Trouble passed away.
i don't remember if i got a chance to tell you today.

I hope you had a better afternoon and it was great seeing you today- next time i will bring someone to watch my girl so i can meet your girlie!

Sharon - Mom Generations said...

I am so, so sorry for this terrible tragedy. I know that pets are our children, too... and our grief at losing them is overwhelming. Your pain comes though in every word. Oh, how I wish there was something I could do for you. Please, please know that I am thinking of you... and crying, too, for Trouble...

T said...

Oh jeeeeez Chris! Sorry to hear about Trouble. I know how much you loved him. Man, your really getting hit hard from all ends aren't you?

That is such sad news. Thinking of you.

J at said...

Oh Chrissy, that's so sad! My heart would be broken as well. I'm so sorry for your kitty loss. :(

My last pet, Samantha, was a dog I had for 16 years. She died 20 years ago, and we just got Genevieve 6 years ago. It took me 14 years until I was ready to deal with the idea of a new dog.

So yeah, I understand.

Glad you're taking it easy. Doing everything you have to do would be a lot harder if you were to get sick, so take it easy as much as you can. :)

Starshine said...

I'm so sorry, C. It isn't silly at all to feel so sad.

It is a real loss to grieve.

The good thing is that the sadness will diminish and the loving memories of Trouble will stay with you!!

Cherry said...

The love and loss you feel for Trouble really came through in that post and it got me tearing up. I have held a very special bond with all of my fur babies and any time I hear of someone loosing one, it really gets me going.

I'll give my boys a little extra cuddle for you tonight.

I'm so sorry.

Veronica said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about Trouble!

Karen MEG said...

Oh C, I almost cried when I read about Trouble!!!! I've never really had pets, but we have pets in our extended family and they are just like any other family member. And for you, like a child, I'm sure. I am so, so sorry.

Do rest up, it is the best for you and your baby now. Good news that Daddy is coming on the weekend to spend time with his girls.

Sorry I've been MIA from the blog, been getting updates from your Aunt at the gym and will get down to see you soon, I promise!!

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so sorry. Losing pets is so heartbreaking.

Rosie : ) said...

C, pets are special to us, so don't feel silly about crying over losing one. I hope you'll feel better soon. :(

Palm Springs Savant said...

Oh C, I am so sorry to hear that. Believe me I do understand. I hope you can focus on the joy of your new baby to lift your spirits.

humpsNbump said...

So sorry for your loss C. It is very difficult to lose a pet. Just like people, I think pets come into and out of our lives for a reason. As one of your friend's mentioned above, focus on the beautiful life that you and your husband created.

~ Humps

Calfkeeper said...

oh, I am so sorry about your kitty. I don't think it's crazy that you feel so badly. Pets become like family members and it hurts to lose them.

Plus you are on hormonal ups and downs anyway and stressing big time, so that just makes it worse.

I am glad the little baby is doing so well. She's lovely.


C said...

Thanks, everyone.
I'm still in shock. The news took me by surprise. I really adored my fur baby. Trouble was the most affectionate cat ever. He was my baby. He was a real pain for Hubby to deal with, but he was my boy. Spike's a girl and she just loves Hubby. I don't think Hubby's going to miss Trouble peeing and pooping all over his belongings though!

I'm still so sad. Can't believe he's gone :(

Blondie said...

So sorry C. My dogs are my children and I would be a total mess if something happened to them. I don't think you're silly for being sad. Hope you feel better soon. All PAWS go to heaven.

Deb said...

Oh, no. I am so sorry to hear about Trouble. I would be devastated if something happened to my dogs. You are not silly for crying!

You are strong and beautiful!

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City girl moves to the country, falls in love, and marries a farmer. She tries to incorporate her city ways with her new country lifestyle and blogs to keep in touch with friends, family & students who live far, far away :) Can this city girl go country? Watch as she learns all sorts of exciting things about life on the farm and in a small rural community. *UPDATE* We are now parents! Our baby girl was born on Nov. 11, 2008 (at 28 weeks gestation- 12 weeks premature, but she's quite the trooper)!!!
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